MAT. I think this be the house: what ho!
COB. Who's there? oh, Signior Matheo. God give you good morrow, sir.
MAT. What? Cob? how doest thou, good Cob? does thou inhabit here, Cob?
COB. Ay, sir, I and my lineage have kept a poor house in our days.
MAT. Thy lineage, Monsieur Cob! what lineage, what lineage?
COB. Why, sir, an ancient lineage, and a princely: mine ancestry came from a king's loins, no worse man; and yet no man neither but 'Herring' the king of fish, one of the monarchs of the world, I assure you. I do fetch my pedigree and name from the first red herring that was eaten in Adam and Eve's kitchen: his 'Cob' was my great, great, mighty great grandfather.
MAT. Why mighty? why mighty?
COB. Oh, it's a mighty while ago, sir, and it was a mighty great Cob.
MAT. How knowest thou that?
COB. How know I? why, his ghost comes to me every night.
MAT. Oh, unsavoury jest: the ghost of a herring Cob.
COB. Ay, why not the ghost of a herring Cob, as well as the ghost of Rashero Bacono, they were both broiled on the coals? you are a scholar, upsolve me that now.
MAT. Oh, rude ignorance! Cob, canst thou shew me of a gentleman, one Signior Bobadilla, where his lodging is?
COB. Oh, my guest, sir, you mean?
MAT. Thy guest, alas! ha, ha.
COB. Why do you laugh, sir? do you not mean Signior Bobadilla?
MAT. Cob, I pray thee advise thyself well: do not wrong the gentleman, and thyself too. I dare be sworn he scorns thy house; he! he lodge in such a base obscure place as thy house? Tut, I know his disposition so well, he would not lie in thy bed if thou'dst give it him.
COB. I will not give it him. Mass, I thought somewhat was in it, we could not get him to bed all night. Well sir, though he lie not on my bed, he lies on my bench, an't please you to go up, sir, you shall find him with two cushions under his head, and his cloak wrapt about him, as though he had neither won nor lost, and yet I warrant he ne'er cast better in his life than he hath done to-night.
MAT. Why, was he drunk?
COB. Drunk, sir? you hear not me say so; perhaps he swallow'd a tavern token, or some such device, sir; I have nothing to do withal: I deal with water and not with wine. Give me my tankard there, ho! God be with you, sir; it's six o'clock: I should have carried two turns by this, what ho! my stopple, come.
MAT. Lie in a water-bearer's house, a gentleman of his note? Well, I'll tell him my mind.
[EXIT.
COB. What, Tib, shew this gentleman up to Signior Bobadilla: oh, an my house were the Brazen head now, faith it would e'en cry moe fools yet: you should have some now, would take him to be a gentleman at least; alas, God help the simple, his father's an honest man, a good fishmonger, and so forth: and now doth he creep and wriggle into acquaintance with all the brave gallants and they flout him invincibly. He useth every day to a merchant's house, (where I serve water) one M. Thorello's; and here's the jest, he is in love with my master's sister, and calls her mistress: and there he sits a whole afternoon sometimes, reading of these same abominable, vile, (a pox on them, I cannot abide them!) rascally verses, Poetry, poetry, and speaking of 'Interludes', 'twill make a man burst to hear him: and the wenches, they do so jeer and tihe at him; well, should they do as much to me, I'd forswear them all, by the life of Pharaoh, there's an oath: how many water-bearers shall you hear swear such an oath? oh, I have a guest, (he teacheth me) he doth swear the best of any man christened. By Phoebus, By the life of Pharaoh, By the body of me, As I am gentleman, and a soldier: such dainty oaths; and withal he doth take this same filthy roguish tobacco, the finest and cleanliest; it would do a man good to see the fume come forth at his nostrils: well, he owes me forty shillings, (my wife lent him out of her purse; by sixpence a time,) besides his lodging; I would I had it: I shall have it, he saith, next Action.
Helter skelter, hang sorrow, care will kill a cat, up-tails all, and a pox on the hangman.
[EXIT.
[BOBADILLA DISCOVERS HIMSELF; ON A BENCH; TO HIM TIB.
BOB. Hostess, hostess.
TIB. What say you, sir?
BOB. A cup of your small beer, sweet hostess.
TIB. Sir, there's a gentleman below would speak with you.
BOB. A gentleman? (God's so) I am not within.
TIB. My husband told him you were, sir.
BOB. What a plague! what meant he?
MAT. Signior Bobadilla.
[MATHEO WITHIN.
BOB. Who's there? (take away the bason, good hostess) come up, sir.
TIB. He would desire you to come up, sir; you come into a cleanly house here.
MAT. God save you, sir, God save you.
[ENTER MATHEO.
BOB. Signior Matheo, is't you, sir? please you sit down.
MAT. I thank you, good Signior, you may see I am somewhat audacious.
BOB. Not so, Signior, I was requested to supper yesternight by a sort of gallants, where you were wished for, and drunk to, I assure you.
MAT. Vouchsafe me by whom, good Signior.
BOB. Marry, by Signior Prospero, and others; why, hostess, a stool here for this gentleman.
MAT. No haste, sir, it is very well.
BOB. Body of me, it was so late ere we parted last night, I can scarce open mine eyes yet; I was but new risen as you came; how passes the day abroad, sir? you can tell.
MAT. Faith, some half hour to seven: now trust me, you have an exceeding fine lodging here, very neat, and private.
BOB. Ay, sir, sit down. I pray you, Signior Matheo, in any case possess no gentlemen of your acquaintance with notice of my lodging.
MAT. Who? I, sir? no.
