(Speaking) But come, let me hide, to see what he's going to do.
(She retires.)
YOUNG MAN
Ah! ye gods, if I were to find the sweet child alone! the wine has fired my lust.
YOUNG GIRL (reappearing in her window)
I have tricked that cursed old wretch; she has left her window, thinking I would stay at home. Ah! here is the lover we were talking of.
(She sings)
This way, my love, this way, come here and haste to rest the whole night in my arms. I worship your lovely curly hair; I am consumed with ardent desire. Oh! Eros, in thy mercy, compel him to my bed.
YOUNG MAN (standing beneath the YOUNG GIRL'S window and singing)Come down and haste to open the door unless you want to see me fall dead with desire. Dearest treasure, I am burning to yield myself to voluptuous sport, lying on your bosom, to let my hands play with your bottom. Aphrodite, why dost thou fire me with such delight in her? Oh! Eros, I beseech thee, have mercy and make her share my couch. Words cannot express the tortures I am suffering.
Oh! my adored one, I adjure you, open your door for me and press me to your heart; 'tis for you that I am suffering. Oh! my jewel, my idol, you child of Aphrodite, the confidante of the Muses, the sister of the Graces, you living picture of voluptuousness, oh! open for me, press me to your heart, 'tis for you that I am suffering.
(He knocks.)
FIRST OLD WOMAN (reappearing suddenly)
What are you knocking for? Are you looking for me?
YOUNG MAN
What an idea!
FIRST OLD WOMAN
But you were tapping at the door.
YOUNG MAN
Death would be sweeter.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Why do you come with that torch in your hand?
YOUNG MAN
I am looking for a man from Anaphlystia.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
What's his name?
YOUNG MAN
Oh! it's not Sebinus, whom no doubt you are expecting.
FIRST OLD WOMAN (taking him by the arm)
By Aphrodite, you must, whether you like it or not.
YOUNG MAN (shaking her off We are not now concerned with cases dated sixty years back; they are remanded for a later day; we are dealing only with those of less than twenty.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
That was under the old order of things, sweetheart, but now you must first busy yourself with us.
YOUNG MAN
Aye, if I want to, according to the rules of draughts, where we may either take or leave.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
But it's not according to the rules of draughts that you take your seat at the banquet.
YOUNG MAN
I don't know what you mean; it's at this door I want to knock.
FIRST OLD WOMAN (standing in his way)
Not before knocking at mine first.
YOUNG MAN (haughtily)
For the moment I really have no need for old leather.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
I know that you love me; perhaps you are surprised to find me at the door. But come, let me kiss you.
YOUNG MAN (pulling back; sarcastically)
No, no, my dear, I am afraid of your lover.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Of whom?
YOUNG MAN
The most gifted of painters.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
And who is he?
YOUNG MAN
The artist who paints the little bottles on coffins. But get you indoors, lest he should find you at the door.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
I know what you want.
YOUNG MAN
I can say as much of you.
FIRST OLD WOMAN (hanging on to him)
By Aphrodite, who has granted me this good chance, I won't let you go.
YOUNG MAN
You are drivelling, you little old hag.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Rubbish! I am going to lead you to my couch.
YOUNG MAN
What need for buying hooks? I will let her down to the bottom of the well and pull up the buckets with her old carcase, for she's crooked enough for that.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
A truce to your jeering, poor boy, and follow me.
YOUNG MAN
Nothing compels me to do so, unless you have paid the levy of five hundredths for me.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Look, by Aphrodite, there is nothing that delights me as much as sleeping with a lad of your years.
YOUNG MAN
And I abhor such as you, and I will never, never consent.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
But, by Zeus, here is something will force you to it.
(She shows him a document.)
YOUNG MAN
What's that?
FIRST OLD WOMAN
A decree, which orders you to enter my house.
YOUNG MAN
Read it out then, and let's hear.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Listen. "The women have decreed that if a young man desires a young girl, he can only lay her after having satisfied an old woman;and if he refuses and goes to seek the maiden, the old women are authorized to seize him and drag him in."YOUNG MAN
Alas! I shall become a Procrustes.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Obey the law.
YOUNG MAN
But if a fellow-citizen, a friend, came to pay my ransom?
FIRST OLD WOMAN
No man may dispose of anything above a medimnus.
YOUNG MAN
But may I not enter an excuse?
FIRST OLD WOMAN
There's no evasion.
YOUNG MAN
I shall declare myself a merchant and so escape service.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Beware what you do!
YOUNG MAN
Well! what is to be done?
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Follow me.
YOUNG MAN
Is it absolutely necessary?
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Yes, as surely as if Diomedes had commanded it.
YOUNG MAN
Well then, first spread out a layer of origanum upon four pieces of wood; bind fillets round your head, bring phials of scent and place a bowl filled with lustral water before your door.
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Will you buy a chaplet for me too?
YOUNG MAN
Yes, if you outlast the tapers; for I expect to see you fall down dead as you go in.
YOUNG GIRL (running out of her house)
Where are you dragging this unfortunate man to?
FIRST OLD WOMAN
To my own bed.
YOUNG GIRL
That's not right. A young fellow like him is not of the age to suit you. You ought to be his mother rather than his wife. With these laws in force, the earth will be filled with Oedipuses.
(She takes him away with her.)
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Oh! you cursed pest! it's envy that makes you say this; but I will be revenged.
(She goes back into her house.)
YOUNG MAN
By Zeus the Deliverer, what a service you have done me, by freeing me of this old wretch! with what ardour I will show you my gratitude in a substantial form!
(Just as he begins to go in with the YOUNG GIRL an even older and uglier woman enters.)SECOND OLD WOMAN
Hi! you there! where are you taking that young man to, in defiance of the law? The decree ordains that he must first sleep with me.
YOUNG MAN
Oh! what a misfortune! Where does this hag come from? She's a more frightful monster than the other even.
SECOND OLD WOMAN
Come here.
