登陆注册
15685500000048

第48章

IN THE COUNTRY

Next day Woloda and myself departed in a post-chaise for the country.Turning over various Moscow recollections in my head as we drove along, I suddenly recalled Sonetchka Valakhin--though not until evening, and when we had already covered five stages of the road."It is a strange thing," I thought, "that I should be in love, and yet have forgotten all about it.I must start and think about her," and straightway I proceeded to do so, but only in the way that one thinks when travelling--that is to say, disconnectedly, though vividly.Thus I brought myself to such a condition that, for the first two days after our arrival home, I somehow considered it incumbent upon me always to appear sad and moody in the presence of the household, and especially before Katenka, whom I looked upon as a great connoisseur in matters of this kind, and to whom I threw out a hint of the condition in which my heart was situated.Yet, for all my attempts at dissimulation and assiduous adoption of such signs of love sickness as I had occasionally observed in other people, I only succeeded for two days (and that at intervals, and mostly towards evening) in reminding myself of the fact that I was in love, and finally, when I had settled down into the new rut of country life and pursuits, I forgot about my affection for Sonetchka altogether.

We arrived at Petrovskoe in the night time, and I was then so soundly asleep that I saw nothing of the house as we approached it, nor yet of the avenue of birch trees, nor yet of the household--all of whom had long ago betaken themselves to bed and to slumber.Only old hunchbacked Foka--bare-footed, clad in some sort of a woman's wadded nightdress, and carrying a candlestick--

opened the door to us.As soon as he saw who we were, he trembled all over with joy, kissed us on the shoulders, hurriedly put on his felt slippers, and started to dress himself properly.I passed in a semi-waking condition through the porch and up the steps, but in the hall the lock of the door, the bars and bolts, the crooked boards of the flooring, the chest, the ancient candelabrum (splashed all over with grease as of old), the shadows thrown by the crooked, chill, recently-lighted stump of candle, the perennially dusty, unopened window behind which I remembered sorrel to have grown--all was so familiar, so full of memories, so intimate of aspect, so, as it were, knit together by a single idea, that I suddenly became conscious of a tenderness for this quiet old house.Involuntarily I asked myself, "How have we, the house and I, managed to remain apart so long?" and, hurrying from spot to spot, ran to see if all the other rooms were still the same.Yes, everything was unchanged, except that everything had become smaller and lower, and I myself taller, heavier, and more filled out.Yet, even as I was, the old house received me back into its arms, and aroused in me with every board, every window, every step of the stairs, and every sound the shadows of forms, feelings, and events of the happy but irrevocable past.When we entered our old night nursery, all my childish fears lurked once more in the darkness of the corners and doorway.When we passed into the drawing-room, I could feel the old calm motherly love diffusing itself from every object in the apartment.In the breakfast-room, the noisy, careless merriment of childhood seemed merely to be waiting to wake to life again.In the divannaia (whither Foka first conducted us, and where he had prepared our beds) everything--mirror, screen, old wooden ikon, the lumps on the walls covered with white paper--

seemed to speak of suffering and of death and of what would never come back to us again.

We got into bed, and Foka, bidding us good-night, retired.

"It was in this room that Mamma died, was it not?" said Woloda.

I made no reply, but pretended to be asleep.If I had said anything I should have burst into tears.On awaking next morning, I beheld Papa sitting on Woloda's bed in his dressing gown and slippers and smoking a cigar.Leaping up with a merry hoist of the shoulders, he came over to me, slapped me on the back with his great hand, and presented me his cheek to press my lips to.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 灵界之雷尊

    灵界之雷尊

    茫然灵陆,帝国众多,门派林立。长河落日,高山小院,孤独少年。他身世不明,孤苦伶仃。变故突起,风涌雷动!看我手执天雷,踏天境,斩大成。万千世界,唯雷行天下!
  • 此生莫离

    此生莫离

    本就是订婚的一对,只怪生活多作怪,看女主和男主怎么修成正果吧!
  • 网王之异次元的爱

    网王之异次元的爱

    为了对你的爱恋,一场契约让我来到了你的世界。面对面瘫的你,我该如何走进你的世界
  • tfboys之空间游戏

    tfboys之空间游戏

    这个世界,没有偶然,有的,只是必然……时间和空间在崩塌,平行的世界在逆转,控制这一切的枢纽……支离破碎!哈哈,毁灭,一切都毁灭……就好了哟~真是好看的画面呢~不会!不会让你得逞的,我们!一起!拼死都会守护,守护最珍惜最重要的东西!绝对!!你……什么都……不懂!KylinCourtyard……Kylin权杖……Kylin之主……白白大人……最终的决战,生死以赴!!!魔法三部曲的最终曲——空间游戏,旅程继续,冒险开始!!魔法三部曲:魔法试练、精武青春、空间游戏。呐……结束了……全部结束了……回去吗?回去吧。
  • 星海贵族

    星海贵族

    星海时代,千万年的积淀,贵族和平民之间存在着不可跨越的鸿沟。基因决定未来,天赋决定一切,遗传带来权势。从来不知道自己渴求什么,但有了目标,有了自己想要守护的东西时,不管未来多坎坷,她都绝不放弃。但在友情,亲情的双重背叛下,巨大的阴谋浮出水面,原来她一直坚守的就是一个笑话,一场自以为是编织的好梦。不过,幸好还有他,想要重来,还有机会吗,我要求得只不过是那种绝不背叛的真实。。。
  • 破凡传

    破凡传

    一个被高手从救下并抚养成人的孤儿缔造传奇的故事
  • 灵汐重生

    灵汐重生

    她因为男友喜欢城市女而被抛弃,被撞穿越;这一世她是继续当农家女,还是进军繁华的都市???(此文存属虚构,勿模仿!!)
  • 辩伪录

    辩伪录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 无憾

    无憾

    唯有无敌,方能无憾。请叫我钟无憾,我此生无憾。
  • 无限之破世王者

    无限之破世王者

    无限+重生,一个从末世之中重生的宅男,从前世的小人物,在今世,逐渐强大,在强大的过程中,他发现了一个秘密,但是,末世真的只是终点吗?