MRS.CHURCH, IN NEW YORK, TO MADAME GALOPIN, AT GENEVA.
October 17, 1880.
If I felt far away from you in the middle of that deplorable Atlantic, chere Madame, how do I feel now, in the heart of this extraordinary city? We have arrived,--we have arrived, dear friend;but I don't know whether to tell you that I consider that an advantage.If we had been given our choice of coming safely to land or going down to the bottom of the sea, I should doubtless have chosen the former course; for I hold, with your noble husband, and in opposition to the general tendency of modern thought, that our lives are not our own to dispose of, but a sacred trust from a higher power, by whom we shall be held responsible.Nevertheless, if I had foreseen more vividly some of the impressions that awaited me here, I am not sure that, for my daughter at least, I should not have preferred on the spot to hand in our account.Should I not have been less (rather than more) guilty in presuming to dispose of HER destiny, than of my own? There is a nice point for dear M.
Galopin to settle--one of those points which I have heard him discuss in the pulpit with such elevation.We are safe, however, as I say; by which I mean that we are physically safe.We have taken up the thread of our familiar pension-life, but under strikingly different conditions.We have found a refuge in a boarding-house which has been highly recommended to me, and where the arrangements partake of that barbarous magnificence which in this country is the only alternative from primitive rudeness.The terms, per week, are as magnificent as all the rest.The landlady wears diamond ear-rings; and the drawing-rooms are decorated with marble statues.Ishould indeed be sorry to let you know how I have allowed myself to be ranconnee; and I--should be still more sorry that it should come to the ears of any of my good friends in Geneva, who know me less well than you and might judge me more harshly.There is no wine given for dinner, and I have vainly requested the person who conducts the establishment to garnish her table more liberally.She says I may have all the wine I want if I will order it at the merchant's, and settle the matter with him.But I have never, as you know, consented to regard our modest allowance of eau rougie as an extra; indeed, I remember that it is largely to your excellent advice that I have owed my habit of being firm on this point.There are, however, greater difficulties than the question of what we shall drink for dinner, chere Madame.Still, I have never lost courage, and I shall not lose courage now.At the worst, we can re-embark again, and seek repose and refreshment on the shores of your beautiful lake.(There is absolutely no scenery here!) We shall not, perhaps, in that case have achieved what we desired, but we shall at least have made an honourable retreat.What we desire--Iknow it is just this that puzzles you, dear friend; I don't think you ever really comprehended my motives in taking this formidable step, though you were good enough, and your magnanimous husband was good enough, to press my hand at parting in a way that seemed to say that you would still be with me, even if I was wrong.To be very brief, I wished to put an end to the reclamations of my daughter.
Many Americans had assured her that she was wasting her youth in those historic lands which it was her privilege to see so intimately, and this unfortunate conviction had taken possession of her."Let me at least see for myself," she used to say; "if Ishould dislike it over there as much as you promise me, so much the better for you.In that case we will come back and make a new arrangement at Stuttgart." The experiment is a terribly expensive one; but you know that my devotion never has shrunk from an ordeal.
