Thou hast a lady far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age.First Servant And till the tears that she hath shed for thee Like envious floods o'er-run her lovely face, She was the fairest creature in the world;And yet she is inferior to none.SLY Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
Or do I dream? or have I dream'd till now?
I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;
I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things:
Upon my life, I am a lord indeed And not a tinker nor Christophero Sly.
Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.Second Servant Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands?
O, how we joy to see your wit restored!
O, that once more you knew but what you are!
These fifteen years you have been in a dream;Or when you waked, so waked as if you slept.SLY These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap.
But did I never speak of all that time? First Servant O, yes, my lord, but very idle words:
For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door;And rail upon the hostess of the house;
And say you would present her at the leet, Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts:
Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.SLY Ay, the woman's maid of the house.Third Servant Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid, Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up, As Stephen Sly and did John Naps of Greece And Peter Turph and Henry Pimpernell And twenty more such names and men as these Which never were nor no man ever saw.SLY Now Lord be thanked for my good amends! ALL Amen.SLY I thank thee: thou shalt not lose by it.
Enter the Page as a lady, with attendants Page How fares my noble lord? SLY Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough.
Where is my wife? Page Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her? SLY Are you my wife and will not call me husband?
My men should call me 'lord:' I am your goodman.Page My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;I am your wife in all obedience.SLY I know it well.What must I call her? Lord Madam.SLY Al'ce madam, or Joan madam? Lord 'Madam,' and nothing else: so lords call ladies.SLY Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd And slept above some fifteen year or more.Page Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me, Being all this time abandon'd from your bed.SLY 'Tis much.Servants, leave me and her alone.
Madam, undress you and come now to bed.Page Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you To pardon me yet for a night or two, Or, if not so, until the sun be set:
For your physicians have expressly charged, In peril to incur your former malady, That I should yet absent me from your bed:
I hope this reason stands for my excuse.SLY Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long.But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again: I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.
Enter a Messenger Messenger Your honour's players, heating your amendment, Are come to play a pleasant comedy;For so your doctors hold it very meet, Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your blood, And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy:
Therefore they thought it good you hear a play And frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.SLY Marry, I will, let them play it.Is not a comondy a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick? Page No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.SLY What, household stuff? Page It is a kind of history.SLY Well, well see't.Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip: we shall ne'er be younger.
