登陆注册
15396200000097

第97章

His eyes filled with tears; he kissed me and walked away to the window to compose himself.My poor, dear, lovable, loving boy! He has all his mother's trials and struggles to contend with ;but what matter it if they bring him the same peace?

JUNE 30.--Everybody wonders to see me once more interested in my long-closed Journal, and becoming able to see the dear friends from whom I have been, in a measure cut off.We cannot ask the meaning of this remarkable increase of strength.

I have no wish to choose.But I have come to the last page of my Journal, and living or dying, shall write in this volume no more.It closes upon a life of much childishness and great sinfulness, whose record makes me blush with shame but I no longer need to relieve my heart with seeking sympathy in its unconscious pages nor do I believe it well to go on analyzing it as I have done.I have had large experience of both joy and sorrow; I have the nakedness and the emptiness and I have seen the beauty and sweetness of life.What Isay now, let me say to Jesus What time and strength I used to spend in writing here, let me spend in praying for all men, for all sufferers who are out of the way, for all whom I love.And their name is Legion for I love everybody.

Yes I love everybody! That crowning joy has come to me at last.

Christ is in my soul; He is mine; I am as conscious of it as that my husband and children are mine; and His Spirit flows from mine in the calm peace of a river whose banks are green with grass and glad with flowers.If I die it will be to leave a wearied and worn body, and a sinful soul to go joyfully to be with Christ, to weary and to sin no more.If I live, I shall find much blessed work to do for Him.So living or dying I shall be the Lord's.

But I wish, oh how earnestly, that whether I go or stay, I could inspire some lives with the joy that is now mine.For many years Ihave been rich in faith; rich in an unfaltering confidence that I was beloved of my God and Saviour.But something was wanting I was ever groping for a mysterious grace the want of which made me often sorrowful in the very midst of my most sacred joy, imperfect when Imost longed for perfection.It was that personal love to Christ of which my precious mother so often spoke to me which she often urged me to seek upon my knees.If I had known then, as I know now what this priceless treasure could be to a sinful human soul, I would have sold all that I had to buy the field wherein it lay hidden.But not till I was shut up to prayer and to the study of Gods word by the loss of earthly joys, sickness destroying the flavor of them all, did I begin to penetrate the mystery that is learned under the cross.And wondrous as it is, how simple is this mystery! To love Christ and to know that I love Him-this is all!

And when I entered upon the sacred yet oft-times homely duties of married life, if this love had been mine, how would that life have been transfigured! The petty faults of my husband under which Ichafed would not have moved me; I should have welcomed Martha and her father to my home and made them happy there; I should have had no conflicts with my servants, shown no petulance to my children.For it would not have been I who spoke and acted but Christ who lived in me.

Alas! I have had less than seven years in which to atone for a sinful, wasted past and to live a new and a Christ-like life.If I am to have yet more, thanks be to Him who has given me the victory, that Life will be Love.Not the love that rests in the contemplation and adoration of its object; but the love that gladdens, sweetens, solaces other lives.

O gifts of gifts!

O grace of faith My God! how can it be That Thou who hast discerning love, Shouldst give that gift to me?

How many hearts thou mightst have had More innocent than mine!

How many souls more worthy far Of that sweet touch of Thine?

Oh grace! into unlikeliest hearts It is thy boast to come The glory of Thy light to find In darkest spots a home.

Oh happy.happy that I am!

If thou canst be, O faith The treasure that thou art in life What wilt thou be in death?

STEPPING WESTWARD.

WHILE my fellow-traveler and I were walking by the side of Loch Katrine one fine evening after sunset in our road to a hut where in the course of our tour we had been hospitably entertained some weeks before, we met, in one of the loneliest parts of that solitary region two well-dressed women, one of whom said to us by way of greeting, "What, you are stepping westward?""What, you are stepping westward?" "Yea." --'Twould be a wildish destiny If we who thus together roam In a strange land and far from home Were in this place the guests of chance: Yet who would stop, or fear to advance, Though home or shelter he had none, With such a sky to lead him on? The dewy ground was dark and cold; Behind, all gloomy to behold: And stepping westward seemed to be A kind of heavenly destiny: I liked the greeting; 'twas a sound Of something without place and bound, And seemed to give me spiritual right To travel through that region bright.The voice was soft and she who spake Was walking by her native lake: The salutation had to me The very sound of courtesy: Its power was felt; and while my eye Was fixed upon the glowing sky, The echo of the voice enwrought A human sweetness with the thought Of traveling through the world that lay Before me in my endless way.--WORDSWORTH.

The End

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 都市修仙禄

    都市修仙禄

    韦少锋是韦家的少家主,在韦家经历生死劫时,进入一片有迷魂阵的森林中;在迷魂阵里少锋无意中得到了一本无字功法,从此他便不在是废物。什么天合竟,元婴期都不过是他的磨刀石而已,让我们一起去看锋哥怎样成就无上霸主吧!
  • 伪淑女的痞子男友

    伪淑女的痞子男友

    南静语,美女一枚,被她的初中同学称之为安静公主,因为她温柔似水、美丽安静。但,被称之为安静公主的南静语在家时却是……“时瀚远,你给我站住,再不站住老子就打断你的第三条腿!”
  • 人鱼祈

    人鱼祈

    她是个灵根废材,还有恋香癖、收藏癖、恋美癖……一大堆毛病。不过,傒囊说越美的男人越危险,所以她必须小心谨慎,不料他一声“小怪物”惊得她差点魂飞魄散……青梅竹马有时尽,只怪是个末世崩塌的世界!
  • 往生界三十天

    往生界三十天

    人死之后,去了哪里?天堂、地狱、往生、轮回?爱情,对你来说,有多重要?倘若真的有一天,你的生死存亡,只维系在你的爱情之上,你是生、还是死?一天,无名写手蝉将离在寻找灵感的过程中被一个少女杀死,他睁开眼睛后发现自己身在一个叫做往生界的地方。原来,每个人都会身死两次,一次在心跳停止之时,一次在阳间深爱你的人逝去之时。杀死他的少女随他一起来到往生界,他答应跟随少女一起,找到一个人,然后带他一起回到阳间。这是一个不为人知的世界,在这里,你将领略到对“死亡”和“爱”最美好的解读,从此,生者不再为逝者悲伤。
  • 学霸大人爱上我

    学霸大人爱上我

    2016年,距中考还有100天,季晚就是在不靠谱的闺蜜的诱拐下于4月1号愚人节这天和暗恋的学霸男神表白的。可是,男神竟然答应了。谁来告诉季晚接下来应该按那个剧本演下去。这确定不是在玩她吧?!!这就算了,学霸让我努力和他考一个学校干神马!她完全不够看好吧!!!!!不想干阿阿阿,可是一对上男神那充满狡猾意味的笑容,季晚这颗菜就蔫了。于是,苦逼的季晚在学霸的督促下,在学习的道路上一去不复返了,并在男神学霸的威逼利诱下痛并快乐着!!!。。。。
  • 傲娇男神的逗比女朋友

    傲娇男神的逗比女朋友

    开学的第一天就被老师刁难,可是经常调皮的“她”却不怕。而老师则差点被她刁难……其次遇到了很疼爱她的一个朋友(但是,没有那么简单)。而她的命定恋人却是另一个人,一个很复杂的三角恋关系,到底怎样才可以解开呢?………………(对了,陌陌有个读者群,欢迎大家的加入:582608788)
  • 龙族圣斗士

    龙族圣斗士

    荒古时代的终结,另一个崭新纪元的开始!仙府弃徒许枫,因机缘重新踏入修仙路!勇闯蛮荒无垠的兽族禁地,徜徉逍遥世外的缥缈仙境,误入阴郁诡谲的魔域之城,更是有机缘踏入千年神秘的天机龙苑....龙、魔、兽、仙、人五族崛起,更有异域众妖扰乱三界!炼龙体、摄龙魂、护龙族,终成圣斗士!问苍天、逆苍穹、救苍生,五族踏歌行!
  • 霸道总裁的落魄甜心

    霸道总裁的落魄甜心

    他是冷漠无情的嗜血撒旦!她是温暖阳光的落魄警花!他为母复仇,心狠手辣。她父母失踪,一心寻找真相一场意外,让两个最不可能的相遇。本以为是命定的姻缘,却变成了一场笑话。当他心爱的人归来,才知原来他想要的人一直都不是她他却不管她的伤心与逃避,硬是留她在身边她看不懂他的心。最后亲近的人,因为他惨死。她才终于发现,原来爱与不爱的差别一心寻死的她,却如凤凰涅槃重生归来,她越发迷人,却精于算计,一心为朋友复仇。宁霆东,我说过,他日我若回来,谁都护不了她,包括你他知她的恨意,知她的隐忍,知她的欺骗,却不知她依然爱他的心她知他的狠戾、知他的无情、知他的决绝,却不知他想要守护她的心他们该如何抉择?
  • 橙子女孩

    橙子女孩

    黎茕茕和言孑立在初中是认识,言孑立对这个个子高挑,腿又细又长的女孩子一见钟情,在为高考拼搏的苦日子里,茕茕也爱上孑立,然而就在两人考上同所大学时言孑立突然离开,再次回国时却成为别人的丈夫……
  • 阴天晴雨

    阴天晴雨

    她与她同是姐妹,却因为一个刚满月的弟弟而命丧黄泉。因此姐妹俩一同穿越到了一个大陆。俩人醒来之后就发现自己在一个荒郊野外里。后来才知是因为在家族中这两姐妹不和才导致死亡。然而才让姐妹俩的灵魂穿越到此处。