登陆注册
15395200000009

第9章

Owen turned round and looked at his disciple with kindling eyes."I do believe, O you of little faith!" he said."I do believe that yonder Ihave a mission, and that He Whom I serve will give me power to carry out that mission.You are right, I can work no miracles; but He can work miracles Whom everything in heaven and earth obeys, and if there is need He will work them through me, His instrument.Or perhaps He will not work them, and I shall die, because thus His ends will best be forwarded.At the least I go in faith, fearing nothing, for what has he to fear who knows the will of God and does it? But to you who doubt, I say--leave me!"The man spread out his hands in deprecation; his thick lips trembled a little, and something like a tear appeared at the corners of his eyes.

"Father," he said, "am I a coward that you should talk to me thus? I, who for twenty years have been a soldier of my king and for ten a captain in my regiment? These scars show whether or no I am a coward,"and he pointed to his breast, "but of them I will not speak.I am no coward, else I had not gone upon that errand of yours.Why, then, should you reproach me because my ears are not so open as yours, as my heart has not understanding? I worship that God of Whom you have taught me, but He never speaks to me as He does to you.I never meet Him as I walk at night; He leaves me quite alone.Therefore it is that I fear that when the hour of trial comes He may desert you; and unless He covers you with His shield, of this I am sure, that the spear is forged which shall blush red in your heart, my father.It is for you that I fear, who are so gentle and tender; not for myself, who am well accustomed to look in the eyes of Death, and who expect no more than death.""Forgive me," said Owen hastily, for he was moved; "and be sure that the shield will be over us till the time comes for us to pass whither we shall need none."*****

That night Owen rose from the task at which he was labouring slowly and painfully--a translation of passages from the Gospel of St.John into the language of the Amasuka--and going to the open window-place of the hut, he rested his elbows upon it and thought, staring with empty eyes into the blackness of the night.Now it was as he sat thus that a great agony of doubt took possession of his soul.The strength which hitherto had supported him seemed to be withdrawn, and he was left, as John had said, "quite alone." Strange voices seemed to whisper in his ears, reproaching and reviling him; temptations long ago trampled under foot rose again in might, alluring him.

"Fool," said the voices, "get you hence before it is too late.You have been mad; you who dreamed that for your sake, to satisfy your pride, the Almighty will break His silence and strain His law.Are you then better, or greater, or purer than millions who have gone before you, that for you and you alone this thing should be done? Why, were it not that you are mad, you would be among the chief of sinners; you who dare to ask that the Powers of Heaven should be set within your feeble hand, that the Angels of Heaven should wait upon your mortal breath.Worm that you are, has God need of such as you? If it is His will to turn the heart of yonder people He will do it, but not by means of /you/.You and the servant whom you are deluding to his death will perish miserably, and this alone shall be the fruit of your presumptuous sin.Get you back out of this wilderness before the madness takes you afresh.You are still young, you have wealth; look where She stands yonder whom you desire.Get you back, and forget your folly in her arms."These thoughts, and many others of like nature, tore Owen's soul in that hour of strange and terrible temptation.He seemed to see himself standing before the thousands of the savage nation he went to save, and to hear the mocking voices of their witch-finders commanding him, if he were a true man and the servant of that God of Whom he prated, to give them a sign, only a little sign; perhaps to move a stone without touching it with his hand, or to cause a dead bough to blossom.

Then he would beseech Heaven with frantic prayers, and in vain, till at length, amidst a roar of laughter, he, the false prophet and the liar, was led out to his doom.He saw the piteous wondering look of the believer whom he had betrayed to death; he saw the fierce faces and the spears on high.Seeing all this his spirit broke, and, just as the little clock in the room behind him struck the first stroke of midnight, with a great and bitter cry to God to give him back the faith and strength that he had lost, Owen's head fell forward and he sank into a swoon there upon the window-place.

同类推荐
  • 洞玄灵宝钟磬威仪经

    洞玄灵宝钟磬威仪经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 金光明忏法补助仪

    金光明忏法补助仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 太上三洞神咒

    太上三洞神咒

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 古列女传

    古列女传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 病榻遗言

    病榻遗言

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 盗墓大宗师

    盗墓大宗师

    给我点时间,我会将这本小说重新整理后发出来。新书出门左转《盗墓大宗师(重写版)》
  • 穿越费伦寻求邂逅是否搞错了什么

    穿越费伦寻求邂逅是否搞错了什么

    这是一位刚接触桌面角色扮演游戏──龙与地下城的青年,偶然穿越到费伦大陆的法师之国哈鲁阿,立志成为滥强法爷的故事。欢迎各位读者来书评区留言!此外,小鹰建了一个书群:法师之国哈鲁阿(134376829)
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 密洞疑云

    密洞疑云

    大龄女教师的一篇题为"重见生天"密洞探险贴子,在网络上引来疯狂转载跟贴,自助探险队伍加入条件需是情侣组合,并附带每人填一份神秘的‘入围’契约。报名者不计其数,最后经过精挑细选组成的12人次,6组队伍如期向密洞出发.密洞探险中竟惊现模具女尸,究竟是人为还是另有隐情,敬请期待!!!
  • 末日之霸王魔骑

    末日之霸王魔骑

    当远古的魔王渐渐苏醒,曾经各个时代的霸主重现人间!冰冷的刀锋无情的收割着鲜活的生命,浓烈的血色弥漫了整个天空!当百万狼头军在大地上漫卷黄沙!当兵马俑在在暴雨下狰狞咆哮!当嗜血的黄巾恶魔蜂拥而至!当人类失去了热武器的支持,该何去何从?这是一场恶魔的游戏,生或者死,我们别无选择!“既然,神拯救不了我们。那我就堕落成魔!晴晴,等着我。我一定会找到你的!”获得霸王传承的项少羽,誓要捍卫人类的尊严!(新人新书,求收藏和推荐。)
  • 滋兰树蕙山房同心录

    滋兰树蕙山房同心录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 秘制甜宠:傲娇总裁忙追妻

    秘制甜宠:傲娇总裁忙追妻

    被最好的朋友出卖,成为落魄千金,被毒死。一朝重生,她认清所有人的面目,开始了复仇计划。只是唯独看不清纠缠于她的这个霸道又腹黑的男人。第一次见面,她赏了他一脚,他却面带微笑第二次见面,他霸道的强吻了她,她却愤怒至极第三次见面,她竟然嫁给了他,他却不理睬她当他悄然来到房间里却被她命令去书房睡觉一会儿的功夫,她却发现,自己竟然被这可恶的男人抱进书房,压在身底……
  • 再回首,十年光阴

    再回首,十年光阴

    八岁那年,郑惜认识了顾辰凌,他当时是一个调皮捣蛋的小伙子,而她是一个不爱干净的小女孩。他们成为了好朋友,形影不离。顾辰凌总是带着郑惜去参观外面的世界,带她到山里捉萤火虫,带她去大海里捡贝壳,带她去划船。樱花池,两人许下誓言:不管将来考上哪所大学,毕业后,都要回来,我们一起去周游世界。这样的美好时光持续了四年,谁也没想到,四年后,将是一场误会夺走了郑惜的一切,那年她十二岁,把家里撕的一地狼藉,带上仅有的两千元独自离家出走,去了别的城市。十年后,她大学毕业,回到了小时候的城市,回到了樱花林,只为了看一眼十年前的约定。樱花林,坐着一个风度翩翩的少年,他们的爱情将会是怎样的一场考验。
  • 繁花未至待荼蘼

    繁花未至待荼蘼

    广电总局规定,未成年人恋爱只许发展不许成功。校规第三条清楚的写着:禁止恋爱。然而她还是败在了江佑琛身上。十八岁生日那天她鼓起勇气去告白,结果他冷冷的说了一句:“你以为我还会再喜欢你吗?”蓝易辰黑着脸问烂醉如泥的她:“你还要喜欢江佑琛多久?”她恍惚的抬头,目光涣散:“我以后不会错过,这中间究竟出了什么差错?”吻混杂在她的眼泪里霸道的落下。他不悦道:“我也喜欢你。”心一点点低沉下去,然后沦陷……【1V2作者是新人文废求轻喷】
  • 昏前婚后与你相遇

    昏前婚后与你相遇

    花花和男朋友泽斌在一起3年,本来约好了要一起出去,可是刚一起出门怎么就倒下了?在醒着的时候花花已经穿上了美丽的婚事,仿佛一切都在做梦一样,她的泽斌要娶她了吗?这样的求婚还真的是很突然呢?她在父亲的陪伴下向新郎走起,可是这身材怎么好像不是泽斌啊?她脑海里有1000个为什么,她怀疑自己是在做梦?那男子转身,他的世界观就崩塌了,这是谁啊?怎么回事,我为什么在这?他是谁,我在结婚吗?这和她想象的婚礼也差太多了吧?她被这男子整治的时刻开始了!