登陆注册
15365000000085

第85章 THAT NIGHT(3)

A wind seemed to wake inside the house,blowing without sound or impact;and a water began to rise that had no lap in its ripples,no sob in its swell.It was cold,but it did not benumb.Unseen and noiseless it came.It smote no sense in me,yet I knew it rising.I saw it lift at last and float her.Gently it bore her,unable to resist,and left rather than laid her on the settle.Then it sank swiftly away.

The strife of thought,accusing and excusing,began afresh,and gathered fierceness.The soul of Lilith lay naked to the torture of pure interpenetrating inward light.She began to moan,and sigh deep sighs,then murmur as holding colloquy with a dividual self:

her queendom was no longer whole;it was divided against itself.

One moment she would exult as over her worst enemy,and weep;the next she would writhe as in the embrace of a friend whom her soul hated,and laugh like a demon.At length she began what seemed a tale about herself,in a language so strange,and in forms so shadowy,that I could but here and there understand a little.Yet the language seemed the primeval shape of one I knew well,and the forms to belong to dreams which had once been mine,but refused to be recalled.The tale appeared now and then to touch upon things that Adam had read from the disparted manuscript,and often to make allusion to influences and forces--vices too,I could not help suspecting--with which I was unacquainted.

She ceased,and again came the horror in her hair,the sparkling and flowing alternate.I sent a beseeching look to Mara.

"Those,alas,are not the tears of repentance!"she said."The true tears gather in the eyes.Those are far more bitter,and not so good.Self-loathing is not sorrow.Yet it is good,for it marks a step in the way home,and in the father's arms the prodigal forgets the self he abominates.Once with his father,he is to himself of no more account.It will be so with her."She went nearer and said,"Will you restore that which you have wrongfully taken?""I have taken nothing,"answered the princess,forcing out the words in spite of pain,"that I had not the right to take.My power to take manifested my right."Mara left her.

Gradually my soul grew aware of an invisible darkness,a something more terrible than aught that had yet made itself felt.A horrible Nothingness,a Negation positive infolded her;the border of its being that was yet no being,touched me,and for one ghastly instant I seemed alone with Death Absolute!It was not the absence of everything I felt,but the presence of Nothing.The princess dashed herself from the settle to the floor with an exceeding great and bitter cry.It was the recoil of Being from Annihilation.

"For pity's sake,"she shrieked,"tear my heart out,but let me live!"With that there fell upon her,and upon us also who watched with her,the perfect calm as of a summer night.Suffering had all but reached the brim of her life's cup,and a hand had emptied it!She raised her head,half rose,and looked around her.A moment more,and she stood erect,with the air of a conqueror:she had won the battle!Dareful she had met her spiritual foes;they had withdrawn defeated!She raised her withered arm above her head,a p鎍n of unholy triumph in her throat--when suddenly her eyes fixed in a ghastly stare.--What was she seeing?

I looked,and saw:before her,cast from unseen heavenly mirror,stood the reflection of herself,and beside it a form of splendent beauty,She trembled,and sank again on the floor helpless.She knew the one what God had intended her to be,the other what she had made herself.

The rest of the night she lay motionless altogether.

With the gray dawn growing in the room,she rose,turned to Mara,and said,in prideful humility,"You have conquered.Let me go into the wilderness and bewail myself."Mara saw that her submission was not feigned,neither was it real.

She looked at her a moment,and returned:

"Begin,then,and set right in the place of wrong.""I know not how,"she replied--with the look of one who foresaw and feared the answer.

"Open thy hand,and let that which is in it go."A fierce refusal seemed to struggle for passage,but she kept it prisoned.

"I cannot,"she said."I have no longer the power.Open it for me."She held out the offending hand.It was more a paw than a hand.It seemed to me plain that she could not open it.

Mara did not even look at it.

"You must open it yourself,"she said quietly.

"I have told you I cannot!"

"You can if you will--not indeed at once,but by persistent effort.

同类推荐
  • 内经评文

    内经评文

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 陈石遗先生谈艺录

    陈石遗先生谈艺录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 重令

    重令

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • THE SHADOW LINE

    THE SHADOW LINE

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 小豆棚

    小豆棚

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 知足常乐:人们忘了放下也是一种幸福

    知足常乐:人们忘了放下也是一种幸福

    本书主要内容简介:每个人心中都有一把幸福的钥匙,但我们却常在不知不觉中把它交给别人掌管。一个成熟的人应该自己掌握幸福的钥匙,他不期待别人使自己快乐,反而能将快乐与幸福带给别人。这样的人就是知足的人,就是能放下一切无谓的烦恼的人。
  • 星空大匠师

    星空大匠师

    匠者,巧夺天工!顺应天地万物之轨迹,了解万物之生死。远古时代,人类初生,天地造就匠者造福人类,为众生奉献······亿万年后匠者最后的传承却落入了一个腹黑的家伙手中。
  • 奔跑着欢笑着哭泣着

    奔跑着欢笑着哭泣着

    每个人的人生都有一段让自己刻苦的回忆,每个人的人生都有过美好,有过伤痕,,,,
  • 百城百战解放战争系列:解放太原

    百城百战解放战争系列:解放太原

    本书以纪实手法纪录了在解放太原的战争中,中国人民解放军浴血奋战的光辉事迹,歌颂了他们的大无畏精神,再现了解放战争的悲壮场面……
  • 嗜血天地

    嗜血天地

    邪无殇因无法修炼少年时期被迫当众羞辱退婚,偶得机缘获得嗜血冥珠,从此斩天才,灭妖孽,问苍天谁主浮沉,踏出属于自己的道,行走在世界的巅峰。
  • 三十一岁随笔之想念学姐

    三十一岁随笔之想念学姐

    洛丽塔,你是光,你是电,你是我的灵魂,你是我的火焰
  • 清晓入微微

    清晓入微微

    “放手,以你的三脚猫功夫,能打赢我?”“不放,你答应当我女朋友我才放手。”只听一声“啊”某只便倒在地上了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
  • 天若有卿天亦老

    天若有卿天亦老

    上一刻的坠落黄泉,这一刻的重生羁绊。她说:我不求一生一世一双人,不求只羡鸳鸯不羡仙,我只求世间再无一心人。我已经舍弃这一切的一切,却不想再次遇见你。原本脱离的宿命。又缓缓步上了正轨。是劫?是缘?祸兮未卜……雪菲菲,又是一年冬。似是梅花飘落消枝头,不见芙蕖立上人若荷。
  • 俯视天纵

    俯视天纵

    一个完全不一样的角度重生所带来的冲击,俯视这个所谓的异世界
  • 听你的泪水述说忧伤

    听你的泪水述说忧伤

    十二年前,小椿说了一句玩笑话,而这句话却被某人记了十二年,于是十二年后,某人成功活过二十五岁并且成了了不起的医生,在小椿最孤独无助时,与最了解她的人再次相遇,并向她递出温暖的怀抱,“医生呐,如果一辈子都找不到适合的眼角膜,可怎么办?”“那我就是你的眼睛!”“医生呐,我不温柔、不贤惠、又懒、又不会做饭,你为什么一定要娶我?要跟我一辈子啊?”“因为你是我的心脏!”