I laid the manuscript down,consoled to find that my father had had a peep into that mysterious world,and that he knew Mr.Raven.
Then I remembered that I had never heard the cause or any circumstance of my father's death,and began to believe that he must at last have followed Mr.Raven,and not come back;whereupon I speedily grew ashamed of my flight.What wondrous facts might I not by this time have gathered concerning life and death,and wide regions beyond ordinary perception!Assuredly the Ravens were good people,and a night in their house would nowise have hurt me!
They were doubtless strange,but it was faculty in which the one was peculiar,and beauty in which the other was marvellous!And Ihad not believed in them!had treated them as unworthy of my confidence,as harbouring a design against me!The more I thought of my behaviour to them,the more disgusted I became with myself.
Why should I have feared such dead?To share their holy rest was an honour of which I had proved myself unworthy!What harm could that sleeping king,that lady with the wound in her palm,have done me?I fell a longing after the sweet and stately stillness of their two countenances,and wept.Weeping I threw myself on a couch,and suddenly fell asleep.
As suddenly I woke,feeling as if some one had called me.The house was still as an empty church.A blackbird was singing on the lawn.I said to myself,"I will go and tell them I am ashamed,and will do whatever they would have me do!"I rose,and went straight up the stairs to the garret.
The wooden chamber was just as when first I saw it,the mirror dimly reflecting everything before it.It was nearly noon,and the sun would be a little higher than when first I came:I must raise the hood a little,and adjust the mirrors accordingly!If Ihad but been in time to see Mr.Raven do it!
I pulled the chains,and let the light fall on the first mirror.
I turned then to the other:there were the shapes of the former vision--distinguishable indeed,but tremulous like a landscape in a pool ruffled by "a small pipling wind!"I touched the glass;it was impermeable.
Suspecting polarisation as the thing required,I shifted and shifted the mirrors,changing their relation,until at last,in a great degree,so far as I was concerned,by chance,things came right between them,and I saw the mountains blue and steady and clear.Istepped forward,and my feet were among the heather.
All I knew of the way to the cottage was that we had gone through a pine-forest.I passed through many thickets and several small fir-woods,continually fancying afresh that I recognised something of the country;but I had come upon no forest,and now the sun was near the horizon,and the air had begun to grow chill with the coming winter,when,to my delight,I saw a little black object coming toward me:it was indeed the raven!
I hastened to meet him.
"I beg your pardon,sir,for my rudeness last night,"I said."Will you take me with you now?I heartily confess I do not deserve it.""Ah!"he returned,and looked up.Then,after a brief pause,"My wife does not expect you to-night,"he said."She regrets that we at all encouraged your staying last week.""Take me to her that I may tell her how sorry I am,"I begged humbly.
"It is of no use,"he answered."Your night was not come then,or you would not have left us.It is not come now,and I cannot show you the way.The dead were rejoicing under their daisies--they all lie among the roots of the flowers of heaven--at the thought of your delight when the winter should be past,and the morning with its birds come:ere you left them,they shivered in their beds.
When the spring of the universe arrives,--but that cannot be for ages yet!how many,I do not know--and do not care to know.""Tell me one thing,I beg of you,Mr.Raven:is my father with you?Have you seen him since he left the world?""Yes;he is with us,fast asleep.That was he you saw with his arm on the coverlet,his hand half closed.""Why did you not tell me?That I should have been so near him,and not know!""And turn your back on him!"corrected the raven.
"I would have lain down at once had I known!""I doubt it.Had you been ready to lie down,you would have known him!--Old Sir Up'ard,"he went on,"and your twice great-grandfather,both are up and away long ago.Your great-grandfather has been with us for many a year;I think he will soon begin to stir.You saw him last night,though of course you did not know him.""Why OF COURSE?"
"Because he is so much nearer waking than you.No one who will not sleep can ever wake.""I do not at all understand you!"
"You turned away,and would not understand!"
I held my peace.--But if I did not say something,he would go!
"And my grandfather--is he also with you?"I asked.
