He went somewhat at length into this point,and talked very reasonably about it;the result,however,was that he would not throw any obstacles in the way of your return,or of her treating you as a friend,&c.,nor did it appear that he believed she would refuse to do so.And,finally,we parted on the understanding that he would see them on the subject,and ascertain what could be done for the comfort of all parties:though he was of opinion that if you could make up your mind to break off the acquaintance altogether,it would be the best plan of all.I am to hear from him again in a day or two.--Well,what do you say to all this?Can you turn it to any thing but good--comparative good?If you would know what _I_say to it,it is this:--She is still to be won by wise and prudent conduct on your part;she was always to have been won by such;--and if she is lost,it has been (not,as you sometimes suppose,because you have not carried that unwise,may I not say UNWORTHY?
Conduct still farther,but because you gave way to it at all.Of course I use the terms "wise"and "prudent"with reference to your object.
Whether the pursuit of that object is wise,only yourself can judge.I say she has all along been to be won,and she still is to be won;and all that stands in the way of your views at this moment is your past conduct.They are all of them,every soul,frightened at you;they have SEEN enough of you to make them so;and they have doubtless heard ten times more than they have seen,or than anyone else has seen.They are all of them including M----(and particularly she herself)frightened out of their wits,as to what might be your treatment of her if she were yours;and they dare not trust you--they will not trust you,at present.
I do not say that they will trust you,or rather that SHE will,for it all depends on her,when you have gone through a probation,but I am sure that she will not trust you till you have.You will,I hope,not be angry with me when I say that she would be a fool if she did.If she were to accept you at present,and without knowing more of you,even I should begin to suspect that she had an unworthy motive for doing it.
Let me not forget to mention what is perhaps as important a point as any,as it regards the marriage.I of course stated to M----that when you are free,you are prepared to make her a formal offer of your hand;but I begged him,if he was certain that such an offer would be refused,to tell me so plainly at once,that I might endeavour,in that case,to dissuade you from subjecting yourself to the pain of such a refusal.
HE WOULD NOT TELL ME THAT HE WAS CERTAIN.He said his opinion was that she would not accept your offer,but still he seemed to think that there would be no harm in making it!---One word more,and a very important one.He once,and without my referring in the slightest manner to that part of the subject,spoke of her as a GOOD GIRL,and LIKELY TO MAKE ANY MAN AN EXCELLENT WIFE!Do you think if she were a bad girl (and if she were,he must know her to be so)he would have dared to do this,under these circumstances?--And once,in speaking of HIS not being a fit person to set his face against "marrying for love,"he added "I did so myself,and out of that house;and I have had reason to rejoice at it ever since."And mind (for I anticipate your cursed suspicions)I'm certain,at least,if manner can entitle one to be certain of any thing,that he said all this spontaneously,and without any understood motive;and I'm certain,too,that he knows you to be a person that it would not do to play any tricks of this kind with.I believe--(and all this would never have entered my thoughts,but that I know it will enter yours)I believe that even if they thought (as you have sometimes supposed they do)that she needs whitewashing,or making an honest woman of,YOU would be the last person they would think of using for such a purpose,for they know (as well as I do)that you couldn't fail to find out the trick in a month,and would turn her into the street the next moment,though she were twenty times your wife--and that,as to the consequences of doing so,you would laugh at them,even if you couldn't escape from them.--I shall lose the post if I say more.
Believe me,Ever truly your friend,C.P.
