Really, when we all get together we do drivel sometimes, to keep the ball rolling.It is like patting up air-balls; and very often they burst, and one realises that an empty, shrivelled little skin is all that is left after most conversations.Did you ever buy air-balls at Brighton? Do you remember the wild excitement of seeing the man coming along the parade, with a huge bunch of them--blue, green, red, white, and yellow, all shining in the sun? And one used to wonder how he ever contrived to pick them all up--I don't know how!--and what would happen if he put them all down.I always knew exactly which one I wanted, and it was generally on a very inside string and took a long time to disentangle.And how maddening it was if the grown-ups grew tired of waiting, and walked on with the penny.Only I would rather have had none, than not have the one on which I had fixed my heart.Wouldn't you?""I never bought air-balls at Brighton," replied Jane, without enthusiasm.Garth was feeling seven again, and Jane was feeling bored.
For once he seemed conscious of this.He took his coat from the back of the chair where he had hung it, and put it on.
"Come along, Miss Champion," he said; "I am so tired of doing nothing.Let us go down to the river and find a boat or two.Dinner is not until eight o'clock, and I am certain you can dress, even for the ROLE of Velma, in half an hour.I have known you do it in ten minutes, at a pinch.There is ample time for me to row you within sight of the minster, and we can talk as we go.Ah, fancy! the grey old minster with this sunset behind it, and a field of cowslips in the foreground!"But Jane did not rise.
"My dear Dal," she said, "you would not feel much enthusiasm for the minster or the sunset, after you had pulled my twelve stone odd up the river.You would drop exhausted among the cowslips.Surely you might know by now that I am not the sort of person to be told off to sit in the stern of a tiny skiff and steer.If I am in a boat, Ilike to row; and if I row, I prefer rowing stroke.But I do not want to row now, because I have been playing golf the whole afternoon.
And you know perfectly well it would be no pleasure to you to have to gaze at me all the way up and all the way down the river; knowing all the time, that I was mentally criticising your stroke and marking the careless way you feathered."Garth sat down, lay back in his chair, with his arms behind his sleek dark head, and looked at her with his soft shining eyes, just as he had looked at the duchess.
"How cross you are, old chap," he said, gently."What is the matter?"Jane laughed and held out her hand."Oh, you dear boy! I think you have the sweetest temper in the world.I won't be cross any more.
The truth is, I hate the duchess's concerts, and I don't like being the duchess's 'surprise-packet.'""I see," said Garth, sympathetically."But, that being so, why did you offer?""Ah, I had to," said Jane."Poor old dear! She so rarely asks me anything, and her eyes besought.Don't you know how one longs to have something to do for some one who belongs to one? I would black her boots if she wished it.But it is so hard to stay here, week after week, and be kept at arm's length.This one thing she asked of me, and her proud old eyes pleaded.Could I refuse?"Garth was all sympathy."No, dear," he said thoughtfully; "of course you couldn't.And don't bother over that silly joke about the 'surprise packet.' You see, you won't be that.I have no doubt you sing vastly better than most of them, but they will not realise it.
It takes a Velma to make such people as these sit up.They will think THE ROSARY a pretty song, and give you a mild clap, and there the thing will end.So don't worry."Jane sat and considered this.Then: "Dal," she said, "I do hate singing before that sort of audience.It is like giving them your soul to look at, and you don't want them to see it.It seems indecent.To my mind, music is the most REVEALING thing in the world.I shiver when I think of that song, and yet I daren't do less than my best.When the moment comes, I shall live in the song, and forget the audience.Let me tell you a lesson I once had from Madame Blanche.I was singing Bemberg's CHANT HINDOU, the passionate prayer of an Indian woman to Brahma.I began: 'BRAHMA! DIEU DES CROYANTS,'
and sang it as I might have sung 'DO, RE, MI.' Brahma was nothing to me.'Stop!' cried Madame Blanche in her most imperious manner.'Ah, vous Anglais! What are you doing? BRAHMA, c'est un Dieu! He may not be YOUR God.He may not be MY God.But he is somebody's God.He is the God of the song.Ecoutez!' And she lifted her head and sang:
'Brahma! Dieu des croyants! Maitre des cites saintes!' with her beautiful brow illumined, and a passion of religious fervour which thrilled one's soul.It was a lesson I never forgot.I can honestly say I have never sung a song tamely, since.""Fine!" said Garth Dalmain."I like enthusiasm in every branch of art.I never care to paint a portrait, unless I adore the woman I am painting."Jane smiled.The conversation was turning exactly the way she had hoped eventually to lead it.
"Dal, dear," she said, "you adore so many in turn, that we old friends, who have your real interest at heart, fear you will never adore to any definite purpose."Garth laughed."Oh bother!" he said."Are you like all the rest? Do you also think adoration and admiration must necessarily mean marriage.I should have expected you to take a saner and more masculine view.""My dear boy," said Jane, "your friends have decided that you need a wife.You are alone in the world.You have a lovely home.You are in a fair way to be spoiled by all the silly women who run after you.
