Major Von Tellheim, Paul WernerMAJ. T.
Why so thoughtful, Werner?
WER.
Oh! that is you. I was just going to pay you a visit in your new quarters, Major.
MAJ. T.
To fill my ears with curses against the Landlord of my old one. Do not remind me of it.
WER.
I should have done that by the way: yes. But more particularly, I wish to thank you for having been so good as to take care of my hundred louis d'ors. Just has given them to me again. I should have been very glad if you would have kept them longer for me. But you have got into new quarters, which neither you nor I know much about. Who knows what sort of place it is? They might be stolen, and you would have to make them good to me; there would be no help for it. So I cannot ask you to take them again.
MAJ. T. (smiling).
When did you begin to be so careful, Werner?
WER.
One learns to be so. One cannot now be careful enough of one's money.
I have also a commission for you, Major, from Frau Marloff; I have just come from her. Her husband died four hundred thalers in your debt; she sends you a hundred ducats here, in part payment. She will forward you the rest next week. I believe I am the cause that she has not sent you the whole sum. For she also owed me about eighty thalers, and she thought I was come to dun her for them--which, perhaps, was the fact--so she gave them me out of the roll which she had put aside for you. You can spare your hundred thalers for a week longer, better than I can spare my few groschens. There, take it!
(Hands him the ducats.)
MAJ. T.
Werner!
WER.
Well! Why do you stare at me so? Take it, Major!
MAJ. T.
Werner!
WER.
What is the matter with you? What annoys you?
MAJ. T. (angrily striking his forehead, and stamping with his foot.)That . . . the four hundred thalers are not all there.
WER.
Come! Major, did not you understand me?
MAJ. T.
It is just because I did understand you! Alas, that the best men should to-day distress me most!
WER.
What do you say?
MAJ. T.
This only applies partly to you. Go, Werner!
(Pushing back Werner's hand with the money in it.)WER.
As soon as I have got rid of this.
MAJ. T.
Werner, suppose I tell you that Frau Marloff was here herself early this morning--WER.
Indeed?
MAJ. T.
That she owes me nothing now
WER.
Really?
MAJ. T.
That she has paid me every penny--What will you say then?
WER. (thinks for a minute).
I shall say that I have told a lie, and that lying is a low thing, because one may be caught at it.
MAJ. T.
And you will be ashamed of yourself?
WER.
And what of him who compels me to lie? Should not he be ashamed too?
Look ye, Major; if I was to say that your conduct has not vexed me, Ishould tell another lie, and I won't lie any more.
MAJ. T.
Do not be annoyed, Werner. I know your heart, and your affection for me. But I do not require your money.
WER.
Not require it! Rather sell, rather pawn, and get talked about!
MAJ. T.
Oh! people may know that I have nothing more. One must not wish to appear richer than one is.
WER.
But why poorer? A man has something as long as his friend has.
MAJ. T.
It is not proper that I should be your debtor.
WER.
Not proper! On that summer day which the sun and the enemy made hot for us, when your groom, who had your canteen, was not to be found, and you came to me and said--"Werner, have you nothing to drink?" and I gave you my flask, you took it and drank, did you not? Was that proper? Upon my life, a mouthful of dirty water at that time was often worth more than such filth (taking the purse also out of his pocket, and holding out both to him).
Take them, dear Major! Fancy it is water. God has made this, too, for all.
MAJ. T.
You torment me: don't you hear, I will not be your debtor.
WER.
At first, it was not proper; now, you will not. Ah! that is a different thing.
(Rather angrily.)
