"Oh! breakfast, breakfast by all means," said the rest; "we really are dying for a warm cup of tea.""Is it bohay tay or souchong tay that you'd like, ladies?" says I.
"Nonsense, you silly man; any tea you like," said fat Mrs. Van.
"What do you say, then, to some prime GUNPOWDER?" Of course they said it was the very thing.
"And do you like hot rowls or cowld--muffins or crumpets--fresh butter or salt? And you, gentlemen, what do you say to some ilegant divvled-kidneys for yourselves, and just a trifle of grilled turkeys, and a couple of hundthred new-laid eggs for the ladies?""Pooh, pooh! be it as you will, my dear fellow," answered they all.
"But stop," says I. "O ladies, O ladies: O gentlemen, gentlemen, that you should ever have come to the quarters of Goliah Gahagan, and he been without--""What?" said they, in a breath.
"Alas I alas! I have not got a single stick of chocolate in the whole house.""Well, well, we can do without it."
"Or a single pound of coffee."
"Never mind; let that pass too." (Mrs. Van and the rest were beginning to look alarmed.)"And about the kidneys--now I remember, the black divvles outside the fort have seized upon all the sheep; and how are we to have kidneys without them?" (Here there was a slight o--o--o!)"And with regard to the milk and crame, it may be remarked that the cows are likewise in pawn, and not a single drop can be had for money or love: but we can beat up eggs, you know, in the tay, which will be just as good.""Oh! just as good."
"Only the divvle's in the luck, there's not a fresh egg to be had--no, nor a fresh chicken," continued I, "nor a stale one either; nor a tayspoonful of souchong, nor a thimbleful of bohay; nor the laste taste in life of butther, salt or fresh; nor hot rowls or cowld!""In the name of heaven!" said Mrs. Van, growing very pale, "what is there, then?""Ladies and gentlemen, I'll tell you what there is now," shouted I.
"There's "Two drumsticks of fowls, and a bone of ham.
Fourteen bottles of ginger-beer," &c. &c. &c.
And I went through the whole list of eatables as before, ending with the ham-sandwiches and the pot of jelly.
"Law! Mr. Gahagan," said Mrs. Colonel Vandegobbleschroy, "give me the ham-sandwiches--I must manage to breakfast off them."And you should have heard the pretty to-do there was at this modest proposition! Of course I did not accede to it--why should I? Iwas the commander of the fort, and intended to keep these three very sandwiches for the use of myself and my dear Belinda.
"Ladies," said I, "there are in this fort one hundred and twenty-six souls, and this is all the food which is to last us during the siege. Meat there is none--of drink there is a tolerable quantity;and at one o'clock punctually, a glass of wine and one olive shall be served out to each woman: the men will receive two glasses, and an olive and a fig--and this must be your food during the siege.
Lord Lake cannot be absent more than three days; and if he be--why, still there is a chance--why do I say a chance?--a CERTAINTY of escaping from the hands of these ruffians.""Oh, name it, name it, dear Captain Gahagan!" screeched the whole covey at a breath.
"It lies," answered I, "in the POWDER MAGAZINE. I will blow this fort, and all it contains, to atoms, ere it becomes the prey of Holkar."The women, at this, raised a squeal that might have been heard in Holkar's camp, and fainted in different directions; but my dear Belinda whispered in my ear, "Well done, thou noble knight! bravely said, my heart's Goliah!" I felt I was right: I could have blown her up twenty times for the luxury of that single moment! "And now, ladies," said I, "I must leave you. The two chaplains will remain with you to administer professional consolation--the other gentlemen will follow me up stairs to the ramparts, where I shall find plenty of work for them."CHAPTER VII.
THE ESCAPE.
Loth as they were, these gentlemen had nothing for it but to obey, and they accordingly followed me to the ramparts, where I proceeded to review my men. The fort, in my absence, had been left in command of Lieutenant Macgillicuddy, a countryman of my own (with whom, as may be seen in an early chapter of my memoirs, I had an affair of honor); and the prisoner Bobbachy Bahawder, whom I had only stunned, never wishing to kill him, had been left in charge of that officer. Three of the garrison (one of them a man of the Ahmednuggar Irregulars, my own body-servant, Ghorumsaug above named,) were appointed to watch the captive by turns, and never leave him out of their sight. The lieutenant was instructed to look to them and to their prisoner, and as Bobbachy was severely injured by the blow which I had given him, and was, moreover, bound hand and foot, and gagged smartly with cords, I considered myself sure of his person.
Macgillicuddy did not make his appearance when I reviewed my little force, and the three havildars were likewise absent: this did not surprise me, as I had told them not to leave their prisoner; but desirous to speak with the lieutenant, I despatched a messenger to him, and ordered him to appear immediately.
The messenger came back; he was looking ghastly pale: he whispered some information into my ear, which instantly caused me to hasten to the apartments where I had caused Bobbachy Bahawder to be confined.
The men had fled;--Bobbachy had fled; and in his place, fancy my astonishment when I found--with a rope cutting his naturally wide mouth almost into his ears--with a dreadful sabre-cut across his forehead--with his legs tied over his head, and his arms tied between his legs--my unhappy, my attached friend--Mortimer Macgillicuddy!
He had been in this position for about three hours--it was the very position in which I had caused Bobbachy Bahawder to be placed--an attitude uncomfortable, it is true, but one which renders escape impossible, unless treason aid the prisoner.
