登陆注册
14721800000031

第31章

"Considerable sensation has been excited in the upper and lower circles in the West End, by a startling piece of good fortune which has befallen James Plush, Esq., lately footman in a respected family in Berkeley Square.

"One day last week, Mr. James waited upon his master, who is a banker in the City; and after a little blushing and hesitation, said he had saved a little money in service, was anxious to retire, and to invest his savings to advantage.

"His master (we believe we may mention, without offending delicacy, the well-known name of Sir George Flimsy, of the house of Flimsy, Diddler, and Flash,) smilingly asked Mr. James what was the amount of his savings, wondering considerably how, out of an income of thirty guineas--the main part of which he spent in bouquets, silk stockings, and perfumery--Mr. Plush could have managed to lay by anything.

"Mr. Plush, with some hesitation, said he had been SPECULATING INRAILROADS, and stated his winnings to have been thirty thousand pounds. He had commenced his speculations with twenty, borrowed from a fellow-servant. He had dated his letters from the house in Berkeley Square, and humbly begged pardon of his master for not having instructed the Railway Secretaries who answered his applications to apply at the area-bell.

"Sir George, who was at breakfast, instantly rose, and shook Mr. P.

by the hand; Lady Flimsy begged him to be seated, and partake of the breakfast which he had laid on the table; and has subsequently invited him to her grand dejeuner at Richmond, where it was observed that Miss Emily Flimsy, her beautiful and accomplished seventh daughter, paid the lucky gentleman MARKED ATTENTION.

"We hear it stated that Mr. P. is of a very ancient family (Hugo de la Pluche came over with the Conqueror); and the new brougham which he has started bears the ancient coat of his race.

"He has taken apartments in the Albany, and is a director of thirty-three railroads. He proposes to stand for Parliament at the next general election on decidedly conservative principles, which have always been the politics of his family.

"Report says, that even in his humble capacity Miss Emily Flimsy had remarked his high demeanor. Well, 'None but the brave,' say we, 'deserve the fair.'"--Morning Paper.

This announcement will explain the following lines, which have been put into our box* with a West End post-mark. If, as we believe, they are written by the young woman from whom the Millionnaire borrowed the sum on which he raised his fortune, what heart will not melt with sympathy at her tale, and pity the sorrows which she expresses in such artless language?

If it be not too late; if wealth have not rendered its possessor callous; if poor Maryanne BE STILL ALIVE; we trust, we trust, Mr.

Plush will do her justice.

* The letter-box of Mr. Punch, in whose columns these papers were first published.

"JEAMES OF BUCKLEY SQUARE.

"A HELIGY.

"Come all ye gents vot cleans the plate, Come all ye ladies maids so fair--Vile I a story vill relate Of cruel Jeames of Buckley Square.

A tighter lad, it is confest, Neer valked with powder in his air, Or vore a nosegay in his breast, Than andsum Jeames of Buckley Square.

"O Evns! it vas the best of sights, Behind his Master's coach and pair, To see our Jeames in red plush tights, A driving hoff from Buckley Square.

He vel became his hagwilletts, He cocked his at with SUCH a hair;His calves and viskers VAS such pets, That hall loved Jeames of Buckley Square.

"He pleased the hup-stairs folks as vell, And o! I vithered vith despair, Missis VOULD ring the parler bell, And call up Jeames in Buckley Square.

Both beer and sperrits he abhord, (Sperrits and beer I can't a bear,)You would have thought he vas a lord Down in our All in Buckley Square.

"Last year he visper'd 'Mary Ann, Ven I've an under'd pound to spare, To take a public is my plan, And leave this hojous Buckley Square.'

O how my gentle heart did bound, To think that I his name should bear.

'Dear Jeames.' says I, 'I've twenty pound;

And gev them him in Buckley Square.

"Our master vas a City gent, His name's in railroads everywhere, And lord, vot lots of letters vent Betwigst his brokers and Buckley Square:

My Jeames it was the letters took, And read them all, (I think it's fair,)And took a leaf from Master's book, As HOTHERS do in Buckley Square.

Encouraged with my twenty pound, Of which poor I was unavare, He wrote the Companies all round, And signed hisself from Buckley Square.

And how John Porter used to grin, As day by day, share after share, Came railvay letters pouring in, 'J. Plush, Esquire, in Buckley Square.'

"Our servants' All was in a rage--

Scrip, stock, curves, gradients, bull and bear, Vith butler, coachman, groom and page, Vas all the talk in Buckley Square.

But O! imagine vot I felt Last Vensday veek as ever were;I gits a letter, which I spelt 'Miss M. A. Hoggins, Buckley Square.'

"He sent me back my money true--

He sent me back my lock of air, And said, 'My dear, I bid ajew To Mary Hann and Buckley Square.

Think not to marry, foolish Hann, With people who your betters are;James Plush is now a gentleman, And you--a cook in Buckley Square.

"'I've thirty thousand guineas won, In six short months, by genus rare;You little thought what Jeames was on, Poor Mary Hann, in Buckley Square.

I've thirty thousand guineas net, Powder and plush I scorn to vear;And so, Miss Mary Hann, forget For hever Jeames, of Buckley Square.'". . . . . .

The rest of the MS. is illegible, being literally washed away in a flood of tears.

A LETTER FROM "JEAMES, OF BUCKLEY SQUARE."

"ALBANY, LETTER X. August 10, 1845.

"SIR,--Has a reglar suscriber to your emusing paper, I beg leaf to state that I should never have done so, had I supposed that it was your abbit to igspose the mistaries of privit life, and to hinjer the delligit feelings of umble individyouals like myself, who have NO IDEER of being made the subject of newspaper criticism.

同类推荐
  • 史通通释

    史通通释

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 啁啾漫记

    啁啾漫记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 延寿命经

    延寿命经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 小儿初生护养门

    小儿初生护养门

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 尊胜佛顶修瑜伽法轨仪

    尊胜佛顶修瑜伽法轨仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 机械大师在异界

    机械大师在异界

    林云是2200年的一名机械大师,他正在研究时光隧道,一不小心却被穿越到了另一片世界中。机械无法检测当前时空。误打误撞下才发现,这里竟然是一片残酷的玄幻世界。他看到了乌鸦啄尸,看到了狼撕完人,看到了从来没看过的血腥……在这个残酷的,以武为道的世界,林云想要活命,只能凭借他的机械能力,一步步的走上巅。“有了硝酸钾,只要再找到硫磺加点木炭,就可以制作出火药了。”林云看着手里的片状物,嘴角挑起好看的弧度:“配合我特殊工具制作的话,火药的威力应该可以杀死七级武者了!”
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 明天的明天,你还爱我吗

    明天的明天,你还爱我吗

    5岁他闯入她的世界,那是她最美好的回忆,6岁他不告而别,却在临走前送她桔梗花的手链。她只知道他去了D城,只知道他的名字是风的孩子,因为他只告诉了她那么多,他的成绩很好,她为了而考进了D城最好的学校。可是她不知道,他已经失去了记忆。他能认出她吗。
  • 高校总裁

    高校总裁

    思哲,一个出身农村的少年,通过自己的努力考入了H市的重点高中,他本以为将迎来寒门子弟的逆袭,却不料现实生活中的一次又一次打击让他逐渐沦为一个当下社会的典型屌丝。大学毕业之后也只能凑合着找到一份销售工作勉强度日,结果又遇到公司倒闭关门老板跑路的残酷现实。思哲一个人郁郁寡欢在酒吧买醉,喝多了之后躺在公园的椅子上睡着了,醒来的时候发现自己穿越回到了十多年前的高中课堂,他悲愤交加,想到自己又要将这十几年的苦痛与磨难再次经历一遍,不禁地感慨着命运对他的捉弄。然而,殊不知,这正是命运对他的眷顾,因为正是由于这一次的穿越,让他的人生彻底地改变了模样,真正的实现了屌丝的逆袭……
  • 长恨刀

    长恨刀

    这是一个波澜壮阔的世界!英雄辈出,豪杰并起,在这片土地碰撞出最灿烂的花火。这里,唯有强者为尊!平凡的少年杨刀带着大侠梦,闯入这万丈红尘,一番沉浮,沧海桑田后,只为回答一个问题,我究竟为了什么而活着?
  • 唐棍

    唐棍

    一念起,沧海桑田,沈延来到了历史上最繁华绮丽的大唐。作为没有金手指的主角,沈延觉得很是郁闷。不过好在生活从未亏待他,文艺青年也能翻身,一下翻成了大唐神棍。还有美女环绕在侧。在没有电灯的夜晚,除了……还能做什么呢?
  • 地球2250日记

    地球2250日记

    2250年是个地球灾难年,资源匮乏,污染严重,各地的粮食都绝收,田地长杆不产籽,果树开花不结果。我们还在过度繁衍着,并只能吃着老本。人性的自私使权贵变了个模样,他们也不再有公信力,于是新的组织出现了。毁灭or创生这是我们现在的问题也会是我们将来的难题,离开or坚持,这是我们必须要面对的问题,人类本没有天敌,而造物主为了制约我们便让我们有了“利益”它就像是毒药一样让我们离不开,并深受其害,我们最后只会毁在我们自己的手里,因为只有人类本身才具备毁灭人类的能力。
  • 血骨记

    血骨记

    穿越是考验人品的试金石!杨祁上辈子一定是毁灭了恐龙、爱上了妲己,才生生避开了王公贵族、世家子弟、宗门奇才、高手传人等所有正确的选项。穿越成了一具骨头!于是美味食物、漂亮姑娘、名门正派统统只能看不能碰!苦逼到极致的少年开始认真的思索。如何才能变得牛逼!
  • 半仙浮沉录

    半仙浮沉录

    原先的江湖上有着那半生不出一剑的剑仙一剑飞仙。有着当世无敌一甲子的武帝傲视群雄,三境之上有一位疯癫老头坐昆仑,望西北,一人镇一族。待江湖老去。有个装疯卖傻的大个儿要以力证道,做那新人武帝。佛门之上有个吃肉喝酒荤素不忌的小和尚,化八世修为助女子轮回。杨青帝,自昆仑出世,以半仙之名镇守神州大陆!
  • tfboys之爱上复仇三位公主

    tfboys之爱上复仇三位公主

    本书只要讲了三位女主角遭陷害被英国女皇收养成为世界很多第一接下来写了她们复仇之路上与四叶草们擦出爱情的火花