登陆注册
12109300000065

第65章 BOOK THE SECOND:THE GOLDEN THREAD(48)

In the sad moonlight,she clasped him by the neck,and laid herface upon his breast. In the moonlight which is always sad,as the light of the sun itself is—as the light called human life is—at its coming and its going.

'Dearest dear!Can you tell me,this last time,that you feel quite,quite sure,no new affections of mine,and no new duties of mine,will ever interpose between us?I know it well,but do you know it?In your own heart,do you feel quite certain?'

Her father answered,with a cheerful firmness of conviction he could scarcely have assumed,'Quite sure,my darling!More than that,'he added,as he tenderly kissed her:'my future is far brighter,Lucie,seen through your marriage,than it could have been—nay,than it ever was—without it.'

'If I could hope that,my father!—'

'Believe it,love!Indeed it is so. Consider how natural and how plain it is,my dear,that it should be so.You,devoted and young,cannot fully appreciate the anxiety I have felt that your life should not be wasted—'She moved her hand towards his lips,but he took it in his,and repeated the word.

'—wasted,my child—should not be wasted,struck aside from the natural order of things—for my sake. Your unselfishness cannot entirely comprehend how much my mind has gone on this;but,only ask yourself,how could my happiness be perfect,while yours was incomplete?'

'If I had never seen Charles,my father,I should have been quite happy with you.'

He smiled at her unconscious admission that she would have been unhappy without Charles,having seen him;and replied:

'My child,you did see him,and it is Charles. If it had not been Charles,it would have been another.Or,if it had been no other,Ishould have been the cause,and then the dark part of my life would have cast its shadow beyond myself,and would have fallen on you.'

It was the first time,except at the trial,of her ever hearing him refer to the period of his suffering. It gave her a strange and new sensation while his words were in her ears;and she remembered it long afterwards.

'See!'said the Doctor of Beauvais,raising his hand towards the moon.'I have looked at her,from my prison-window,when I could not bear her light. I have looked at her when it has been such torture to me to think of her shining upon what I had lost,that I have beaten my head against my prison-walls.I have looked at her,in a state so dull and lethargic,that I have thought of nothing but the number of horizontal lines I could draw across her at the full,and the number of perpendicular lines with which I could intersect them.'He added in his inward and pondering manner,as he looked at the moon,'It was twenty either way,I remember,and the twentieth was difficult to squeeze in.'

The strange thrill with which she heard him go back to that time,deepened as he dwelt upon it;but,there was nothing to shock her in the manner of his reference. He only seemed to contrast his present cheerfulness and felicity with the dire endurance that was over.

'I have looked at her,speculating thousands of times upon the unborn child from whom I had been rent. Whether it was alive.Whether it had been born alive,or the poor mother's shock had killed it.Whether it was a son who would some day avenge his father.(There was a time in my imprisonment,when my desire for vengeance was unbearable.)Whether it was a son who wouldnever know his father's story;who might even live to weigh the possibility of his father's having disappeared of his own will and act.Whether it was a daughter who would grow to be a woman.'

She drew closer to him,and kissed his cheek and his hand.

'I have pictured my daughter,to myself,as perfectly forgetful of me—rather,altogether ignorant of me,and unconscious of me. I have cast up the years of her age,year after year.I have seen her married to a man who knew nothing of my fate.I have altogether perished from the remembrance of the living,and in the next generation my place was a blank.'

'My father!Even to hear that you had such thoughts of a daughter who never existed,strikes to my heart as if I had been that child.'

'You,Lucie?It is out of the consolation and restoration you have brought to me,that these remembrances arise,and pass between us and the moon on this last night.—What did I say just now?'

'She knew nothing of you. She cared nothing for you.'

'So!But on other moonlight nights,when the sadness and the silence have touched me in a different way—have affected me with something as like a sorrowful sense of peace,as any emotion that had pain for its foundations could—I have imagined her as coming to me in my cell,and leading me out into the freedom beyond the fortress. I have seen her image in the moonlight often,as I now see you;except that I never held her in my arms;it stood between the little grated window and the door.But,you understand that that was not the child I am speaking of?'

'The figure was not;the—the—image;the fancy?'

'No. That was another thing.It stood before my disturbedsense of sight,but it never moved.The phantom that my mind pursued,was another and more real child.Of her outward appearance I know no more than that she was like her mother.The other had that likeness too—as you have—but was not the same.Can you follow me,Lucie?Hardly,I think?I doubt you must have been a solitary prisoner to understand these perplexed distinctions.'

His collected and calm manner could not prevent her blood from running cold,as he thus tried to anatomise his old condition.

'In that more peaceful state,I have imagined her,in the moonlight,coming to me and taking me out to show me that the home of her married life was full of her loving remembrance of her lost father. My picture was in her room,and I was in her prayers.Her life was active,cheerful,useful;but my poor history pervaded it all.'

'I was that child,my father. I was not half so good,but in my love that was I.'

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 遗梦落花

    遗梦落花

    “你许我一场落幕,我陪你一世繁华!”夏梦看着林恩帅气的脸,嘴角微扬,肉乎乎的小脸上挂满了幸福的光芒。像是蜜糖,甜到哀伤……
  • 深深亦清晗

    深深亦清晗

    谭祁莘,军部老司令的独孙,部队少将的爱子,骑士集团的总裁,圈子内有名的太子爷。气质清冷,生性凉薄,向来不把女人放在眼里,却独独钟情于她。顾清晗,眉清目秀,落落大方,开朗幽默,爱憎分明。她说,前男友什么的,分就分了,我不喜欢拉拉扯扯的搞暧昧。她说,我讨厌麻烦,只想简简单单的生活。她说,虽然不知道未来会怎样,可既然决定和你在一起,那以后,便风雨无阻。某天顾清晗突然发现,自己竟被谭祁莘清冷英挺的外表给骗了,“知道为什么笨鸟先飞吗?”“因为它努力!”“不对,因为它笨。”谭祁莘似笑非笑的瞟她一眼,眸中的笑意光彩夺目,“都说是笨鸟了。”“知道为什么要带你去吃饭吗?”“……”谭祁莘笑的促狭,“因为我喜欢。”
  • 凯源玺的幸运符号

    凯源玺的幸运符号

    一次校园偶遇,几人感情便慢慢发酵,女主因见到男神而兴奋,男主因一见钟情而……
  • 无法改变的过去

    无法改变的过去

    人之初,性本善。她却是在经历的压迫下病态状了。绝望后重生,可以掌控一切?沈默桐,也这样以为。再次获得生命之后,回到四年前,已经完全是不一样的天空。认识了不同的人,却都是生活悲伤的角色,是否悲伤的人周围都围绕着是悲伤?在悲惨中,她固执地想改变一切,即使会伤痕累累,在看到一些希望,光明之后,沈默桐忘了,她忘了神秘人的忠告,和原本不在她生命中的人有过多交集,会发生意想不到的噩耗。她有了生命中认为重要的人,想要守护的人,周围的人却离奇地遭受各种恐怖的事件。那个孤独,无奈的少年,却在这一刻挺身而出,带她去改变不堪的命运。前途莫勘,命运多舛,会有奇迹发生吗?在无法改变的过去,他们应该何去何从……
  • 只若青城

    只若青城

    初见时,他一袭红袍似血,衣摆轻飘,慢慢地靠近她,贴近她的耳垂,邪笑。如花美眷,似水流年,回得了过去,回不了当初。当隐藏在心底的情愫暗生,当埋没在黑暗的阴谋再现,当不得已的离别来临。原来。相濡以沫,不如相忘于江湖。
  • 爱落日暮

    爱落日暮

    情不知所起,一往情深。奈何情深,向来缘浅。时光匆匆,两地分隔?现实百态,曾经所爱不知所踪?沄逸,再见你时,我才发现我爱你,韶华已逝,潸然泪下,若我回头,如可重来,想与你共度锦绣年华,愿你一世长安,许你长乐未央。——睛薰
  • 凶灵笔记

    凶灵笔记

    收藏界流传着一个不成文的规矩,即便是价值连城的宝物,如果是凶物,一定不能碰,否则就会遭殃,甚至是血光之灾。悬疑、恐怖、迷局、艳遇,这里应有尽有,还有你永远无法猜到的结局。
  • 二次元冒险

    二次元冒险

    每个动漫世界都有或多或少的穿越者,在自己的世界生存,爬上顶端,到其他世界去征服。主世界为漆黑的子弹,第一个世界学园默示录,其他世界考虑中
  • 谁动了你的命运?

    谁动了你的命运?

    本书从主动工作、淡定心境、幸福密码等方面对影响命运的人生态度进行了详细的论述,这对于开启人们的智慧,启发人们的心灵会大有裨益。
  • 三国夜传说之血染夜锋

    三国夜传说之血染夜锋

    长剑锋已损,犹可诛佞臣。青史声名败,炙血鉴忠心。是非成败转头空,青山依旧在,几度夕阳红。