And Nuzhet ez Zeman discoursed upon the policy and behaviour of kings, till the bystanders said, "Never heard we one reason of the duties of kings like this damsel! Mayhap she will favour us with discourse upon some subject other than this." When she heard this, she said, "As for the chapter of good breeding,[FN#36] it is wide of scope, for it is a compend of perfections. There came in one day to the Khalif Muawiyeh[FN#37] one of his boon-companions,who spoke of the people of Irak and the goodness of their wit;
and the Khalif"s wife Meisoun, mother of Yezid, heard him. So,when he was gone, she said to the Khalif, "O Commander of the Faithful, prithee let some of the people of Irak come in to thee and talk with them, that I may hear their discourse." So the Khalif said to his attendants, "Who is at the door?" And they answered, "The Benou Temim." "Let them come in," said he. So they came in and with them Ahnaf ben Cais.[FN#38] Now Muawiyeh had drawn a curtain between himself and Meisoun, that she might hear what they said without being seen herself; and he said to Ahnaf,"O Abou Behr,[FN#39] pray, near and tell me what counsel thou hast for me." Quoth Ahnaf, "Part thy hair and trim thy moustache and clip thy nails and pluck out the hair of thine armpits and shave thy pubes and be constant in the use of the toothstick, for therein are two-and-seventy virtues, and make the Friday (complete) ablution as an expiation for what is between the two Fridays." "What is thy counsel to thyself?" asked Muawiyeh. "To plant my feet firmly on the ground," replied Ahnaf, "to move them with deliberation and keep watch over them with my eyes." "How,"
asked the Khalif, "dost thou carry thyself, when thou goest in to the common folk of thy tribe?" "I lower my eyes modestly," replied Ahnaf, "and salute them first, abstaining from what does not concern me and being sparing of words." "And how, when thou goest in to thine equals?" asked Muawiyeh. "I give ear to them, when they speak," answered the other, "and do not assail them, when they err."
"And how dost thou," said the Khalif, "when thou goest in to thy chiefs?" "I salute without making any sign," answered Ahnaf, "and await the response: if they bid me draw near, I do so, and if they bid me stand aloof, I withdraw." "How dost thou with thy wife?"
asked the Khalif. "Excuse me from answering this, O Commander of the Faithful!" replied he; but Muawiyeh said, "I conjure thee to answer." Then said Ahnaf, "I entreat her kindly and show her pleasant familiarity and am large in expenditure, for women were created of a crooked rib." "And how," asked the Khalif, "dost thou when thou hast a mind to lie with her?" "I speak to her to perfume herself," answered the other, "and kiss her till she is moved to desire; then, if it be as thou knowest, I throw her on her back. If the seed abide in her womb, I say, "O my God, make it blessed and let it not be a castaway, but fashion it into a goodly shape!" Then I rise from her and betake myself to the ablution, first pouring water over my hands and then over my body and returning thanks to God for the delight He hath given me." "Thou hast answered excellently well," said Muawiyeh; "and now tell me what thou wouldst have." Quoth Ahnaf, "I would have thee rule thy subjects in the fear of God and do equal justice amongst them." So saying, he withdrew from the Khalif"s presence, and when he had gone, Meisoun said,"Were there but this man in Irak, he would suffice to it." This (continued Nuzhet ez Zeman) is a small fraction of the chapter of good breeding. Know O King, that Muyekib was intendant of the treasury during the Khalifate of Omar ben Khettab. "One day (quoth he) the Khalif"s son came to me and I gave him a dirhem from the treasury. Then I returned to my own house, and presently, as I was sitting, there came to me a messenger,bidding me to the Khalif. So I was afraid and went to him, and when I came into his presence, I saw in his hand the dirhem I had given his son. "Harkye, Muyekib," said he, "I have found somewhat concerning thy soul." "What is it, O Commander of the Faithful?"
asked I; and he answered, "It is that thou wilt have to render an account of this dirhem to the people of Mohammed (on whom be peace and salvation) on the Day of Resurrection."" This same Omar wrote a letter to Abou Mousa el Ashari,[FN#40] to the following purport, "When these presents reach thee, give the people what is theirs and send the rest to me." And he did so. When Othman succeeded to the Khalifate, he wrote a like letter to Abou Mousa,who did his bidding and sent him the tribute accordingly, and with it came Ziad[FN#41] When the latter laid the tribute before Othman, the Khalif"s son came in and took a dirhem, whereupon Ziad fell a-weeping. "Why dost thou weep?" asked Othman. Quoth Ziad, "I once brought Omar ben Khettab the like of this, and his son took a dirhem, whereupon Omar bade snatch it from his hand.
Now thy son hath taken of the tribute, yet have I seen none rebuke him nor take the money from him." And Othman said, "Where wilt thou find the like of Omar?" Again, Zeid ben Aslam relates of his father that he said, "I went out one night with Omar, and we walked on till we espied a blazing fire in the distance. Quoth Omar, "This must be travellers, who are suffering from the cold:
let us join them." So we made for the fire, and when we came to it, we found a woman who had lighted a fire under a cauldron, and by her side were two children, crying. "Peace on you, O folk of the light!" said Omar, for he misliked to say, "folk of the fire;"[FN#42] "what ails you?" Quoth she, "The cold and the night irk us." "What ails these children that they weep?" asked he.
"They are hungry," replied she. "And what is in this cauldron?"
asked Omar. "It is what I quiet them with," answered she, "and God will question Omar ben Khettab of them, on the Day of Resurrection." "And what," rejoined the Khalif, "should Omar know of their case?" "Why then," said she, "should he undertake the governance of the people"s affairs and yet be unmindful of them?"