There's a hose connected with the bottom of the barrel to run the water off after each trial and he's forgotten to - . . . Well, isn't that too bad! All that work for nothing. I suppose they'll let them try it over again . . . . That man must have got a pretty hard rap. They're carrying him out. His head's all bloody . . . .
Wapatomicas, I guess. Yes, Wapatomicas. I hope the valve's closed this time. Whope! did you see that? One fellow got hit with a water bucket and it was about half-full. It's running out of the spout. Yes, and it's falling on those people right where you wanted to sit. Hear the girls squeal. Talk about your fun. I don't want any better fun than this. Look at 'em come down the ladder just holding the sides with their hands. They couldn't do that if the ladder was dry.
Ah, here's our crowd. Come on! Come on! Come on! COME ON! Oh, don't be so slow with those buckets! Aren't they fine? Say, they don't care if they do spill a drop or two. Why. Why, what are they coming down for? It isn't running out of the spout yet. Come back! COME BACK! Oh, pshaw! Just threw it away by being in too much of a hurry. That judge looks funny, doesn't he, with a rubber overcoat on and the sun shining? See, he's telling them: "One bucket more." They'll let 'em have another trial, of course . . . . No?
Oh, that's an outrage. That' s not fair. The Caledonias will get it now. . . . Yes, sir, they did get it. Oh, well, accidents will happen. What? "Where's Caledonia now?" Well, they got it by a fluke. What say? . . . Well only for - Oh, pshaw! Now, don't tell me that because I was there and - Well, I say they didn't . . . . I know better, they didn't . . . . Oh, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. I tell you - Now, Mary, don't you interfere. I'm not quarreling. I'm just telling this gentleman back of me that - Well, all right, if you're going to cry. If there was any fouling done it was the Caledonias that did it, though.
The next is where they "run three hundred feet from the judges'
stand, raise ladder, hose company to couple to hydrant, break coupling in hose and put on nozzle, scale ladder, and fill twenty-five gallon barrel." Only the Caledonias. and our boys are entered in this. Now we'll see which is the best. All right, Mary, I won't say a word . . . . Say, for country-jakes, those Caledonias didn't do so badly. I give them that much. Look at the water fly!
I'll bet those folks near the judges' stand wish they'd brought their umbrellas. Now you see why these are the best seats, don't you? I told you I'd been to Firemen's Tournaments before. What?
You'll have to talk louder than that if you want me to hear with all this noise . . . . Oh, that'll be all right. They'll be so hungry they won't notice it.
Here, be careful how you wabble that hose around. Good thing they turned the water off at the plug just when they did or we'd have been - Here's our company. Where's Caledonia now? Eh?
Pretty work! Pretty work! Say, do you know that hose full of water's heavy? Now watch Riley. Riley's the one that's got the nozzle. Always up to some monkeyshine. Ah! See him? See him?
Oh, is n"t he soaking them? Oh-ho! Ho! Ho! ha! ha! hee-hee! Yip.
Blame clumsy fool! . . . P-too! Yes, in my mouth and in my ears and down the back of my neck. All over. Running out of my sleeves. Everything I got on is just ruined. Completely ruined.
Come on. Let's go home. There's nothing more to see, much.
Aw, come on. Well, stay if you want to, but I'm going home, and get some dry clothes on me. You get me to go to another Firemen's Tournament and you'll know it. Look at that monkey from Caledonia laughing at me. For half a cent I'd go up and smack his face for him . . . . Aw, let up on your "Where's Caledonia now?" Give us a rest. Well, are you coming, you folks? . . . Kind of a fizzle this year, wasn't it?
However, after supper, with dry clothes on, it isn't so bad. The streets are packed. All the firemen are parading and shouting:
"Who? Who? Who are we?" The Caledonias got one more prize than our boys. Well, why shouldn't they? Entered in three more events.
I don't see as that's anything to brag of or to carry brooms about. All the fife-and-drum corps are out, and the bands are all playing "Hiawatha" at once, but not together. Not all either.
There's one band in front of Hofmeyer's playing "Oh, Happy Day!
That Fixed my Choce." That's funny: to play a hymn-tune in front of a beer-saloon. Hofmeyer seems to think it's all right. He's inviting them in to have something. "Took the hint?" I don't understand . . . . Oh, is that so? I didn't know there were other words to that tune.
See that woman with four little ones. Her husband's carrying two more. "I want to go howm. Why cain't we gow howm? I do' want to gow howm pretty soon. I want to gow na-ow!" Eh, Mary, how would you like to lug them around all day and then stand up in the cars all the way home?
Well, good-by. Hope you had a nice time. Give my regards to all the folks. Don't be in such a rush, my friend . . . . Oh, did you see? It must be the man that got hit on the head with the ladder.
Taking him home on a stretcher. Gee! That's tough. Skull fractured, eh? Dear! Dear! I hear they have been keeping company a long time, and were to have been married soon. No wonder she cried and took on so. Poor girl! Yes, it's the women that suffer . . . . Oh, quite a day for accidents. I didn't mind, though, after I had changed my clothes. I took some quinine, and I guess I'll be all right. Lucky you got a seat. Well, you're off at last.
Good-by. Remember me to all. Good-by.
Well, thank goodness, that's over. Another ten minutes of them and wouldn't have - Well, Mary, what else could I do but ask them home after he told me what they didn't have to eat at the Ladies'
Aid? . . . It was all right. Plenty good enough. Better than they have at home and I'll bet on it. The table looked beautiful.
I'm glad the Tournament doesn't come but once a year. I'm about ready to drop.
