Sure, I ax you and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez this mornin', but I'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all but gone.'
"'That so?' says I. 'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it? Me and Mr. Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr. Dempsey, and--'
"'Excuse me, sor,' he says. 'My name's not Dempsey. I suppose you seen the sign with me partner's name on it. I only bought into the business a while ago, and the new sign's not ready yit. Me name is O'Shaughnessy, sor.'
"'What?' says I. And then: 'WHAT?'
"'O'Shaughnessy. Michael O'Shaughnessy. I--'
"'Hold on!' I sung out. 'For the land sakes, hold on! WHAT'S your name?'
"He bristled up like a cat.
"'Michael O'Shaughnessy,' he roars, like the bull of Bashan.
'D'yez find any fault with it? 'Twas me father's before me--Michael Patrick O'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo. I'll have yez know-- WHAT'S THAT?'
"'Twas a scream from the libr'ry. Next thing I knew, Margaret, the nurse girl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and swingin' back and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale.
"'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint. 'Mary be good to us!
MIKE!'
"And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as white as she was.
"'MAGGIE!' he hollers. And then they closed in on one another.
"Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall.
Me and Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father McGrath was cool as an ice box. When Archibald, like the little imp he was, sets up a whoop and dives for them two, the priest grabs him by the rope of the blanket nighty and swings him into the libr'ry, and shuts the door on him.
"'And now,' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us to the parlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit.'
"We waited, maybe, ten minutes. Archibald, dear, shut up in the libr'ry, was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to him. Then there was a knock on the door between us and the hall, and Father McGrath opened it. There they was, the two of 'em--Mike and Maggie--lookin' red and foolish--but happy, don't talk!
"'You see, sor,' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas the five-thousand-dollar prize that done it. I'd been workin' at me trade, sor--larnin' to tind bar it was--and I'd just got a new job where the pay was pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was plannin' for the little flat we was to have, and the like of that, when I drew that prize. And the joy of it was like handin' me a jolt on the jaw. It put me out for two weeks, sor, and when I come to I was in Baltimore, where I'd gone to collect the money; and two thousand of the five was gone, and I knew me job in New York was gone, and I was that shamed and sick it took me three days more to make up me mind to come to me Cousin Tim's, where I knew Maggie'd be waitin' for me. And when I did come back she was gone, too.'
"'And then,' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on another spree, and spent the rest of the money.'
"'I did not, sor--axin' your pardon for contradictin' your riverence. I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to help me. I put me three thousand into a partnership with me friend Dempsey, who was runnin' the Golconda House--'tis over on the East Side, with a fine bar trade--and I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've been crazy for this poor girl, and advertisin' and--'
"'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike.
'And is that YOUR tall hat, Mike? To think of you with a tall hat!
Sure it's a proud girl I am this day. Saints forgive me, I've forgot Archie!'
"And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastened the libr'ry door. It took her some time to smooth down the young one's sensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon told the O'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put up with along of Cousin Harriet and Archibald. He was mad.
"'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald, who had arrived by now.
"'That's the one,' says I.
"Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever.
"'Father McGrath,' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you marry us this night?'
"'I can,' says the Father.
"'And will yez?'
"'I will, with pleasure.'
"'Maggie,' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with the Father and me this minute. These gintlemen here will explain to your lady when she comes back. But YOU'LL come back no more.
We'll send for your trunk to-morrer.'
"Even then the girl hesitated. She'd been so used to bein' a slave that I suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last.
"'But, Mike, dear,' she says. 'I--oh, your lovely hat! Put it down, Archie, darlin'. Put it down!'
"Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and he'd dug up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the hall. Now he was dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as if it was a drum.
"'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret. 'Twas plain that that plug was a crown of glory to her.
"'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive for the boy.
"'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run. He tripped over the corner of a mat, and fell flat. The plug hat was underneath him, and it fell flat, too.
"'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands. 'Your beautiful hat, Mike!'
"Mike's face was like a sunset.
"'Your reverence,' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise to "obey" in the marriage service?'
"'She does,' says Father McGrath.
"'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy? You do?
Well, then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order you to give that small divil what's comin' to him. D'ye hear me?
Will yez obey me, or will yez not?'
"She didn't know what to do. You could see she wanted to--her fingers was itchin' to do it, but-- And then Archie held up the ruins of the hat and commenced to laugh.
"That settled it. Next minute he was across her knee and gettin' what he'd been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin' all the back numbers along with it, too.
