Second practice is a practice of kind expression. The Buddha word for it is meta practice， kindness practice. It‘s easy to meet people and it’s easy to meet experiences in your life as a friend if they‘re pleasant. It’s not so easy if they‘re unpleasant and if you don’t like them， so it‘s really important to know that this is a practice not for the benefit of the other person. It’s a practice for the benefit of myself， that what I‘m actually trying to do is to keep my heart an enmity free zone. There’s so much enmity in the world. I don‘t want any of it in my heart. If I can meet this person at least with a good intention for them， my grandfather used to say about everybody， because that was just an Eastern European thing to say，“My daughter， Miriam， may she live and thrive； my cousin Murray， may he live and thrive. I like to think about people as they come along-here comes so-and-so； may they live and thrive. I can like them or not like them， but if I think’may they live and thrive‘， it picks me up and it keeps me from thinking my stories about why I might not like them， which will condition how it is when I meet them. It’s actually a safeguard for myself， so I hope as you meet people through the day， you might say to them，”May you live and thrive“， and they‘ll never know actually， except other than that you wish them well. And your heart will stay in a very good zone.
There’s a third practice that I have. This is not a practice of the Buddhacould have taught， because it involves having a computer and doing e-mail. And it‘s a practice that I have been doing for two years with my friend， Carol. Carol lives in Massachusetts， I live in California， we decided while we were teaching somewhere together having heard from a friend of ours that this was a good practice， I looked over at Carol and said，”You want to do this？“and she said，”yes.“ We went home. We e-mail each other every single day and I write to Carol what I am grateful for that day， and she writes to me. It’s not a letter. I don‘t even write”Dear Carol.“I say，”I am grateful today for“this and this and this. She writes the same. I don’t have to respond to her， she doesn‘t have to respond to me. When we started， it was easy. She went back to Massachusetts， she said，”I’m grateful the snow is melting.“I wrote to her，”I am grateful I live in California， we already have crocuses and daffodils.“But after a while， after the excitement and the novelty of being friends used up all of our great stuff， we inevitably came to the truth of our lives， and sometimes there are really difficult days， and I would find myself at the end of the day in front of my computer writing to Carol and saying，”I am grateful for your presence at the other end of this e-mail because I‘ve had an absolutely terrible day. I am up to here with my colleagues. I’m upset with this and this with my family. I am trying to get a grip about this because I‘m trying to be spiritual about it and it’s not working， and I‘m very happy that you’re out there so I can tell you I‘m in a really desperate mood， and in truth， as I’m telling you and as I‘m writing you， it doesn’t seem so bad， and actually there‘s a little space around the edges of it， and actually as I’m writing to you I see that I‘ve made more of a mountain out of a mole hill than I needed to do and it becomes workable， and so and so.“And Carol and I over these two years that we’ve been doing it have become as a result of this， very dear friends， because we‘ve come to really tell each other what the really challenged parts of our lives are，and it’s extraordinary to feel that I am held in loving compassion by someone out there， that I don‘t have to see， that I don’t have to meet， that somewhere in the world there is someone waiting for her e-mail from me every day saying my gratitude. What it does for me， because it obligates me to make a space of gratitude in my mind， is I have to find some frame around my story large enough to hold the story， even if my story is one of woe and difficulty， I can say I‘m still so happy that you love me and you’re out there and you‘ll read this and you’ll care about me. If the frame gets bigger， it allows me to see different possibilities in my life and when the frame is bigger， it allows me to remember that there is a life outside of mine， that there are other possibilities not only in my life but in the world. I get reconnected to myself in affection， and I get re- inspired to make a difference in the world.
You know， the Buddha said， the Ananda， the principal disciple of the Buddha， said to him at one point，”Is it true that noble friends are half of the holy life？“And the Buddha said，”No， it‘s not true. Noble friends are the whole of the holy life.“So I would like you for a minute to look around at your noble friends， people that have helped you through all these years. Think about it your family back there who are， all of them， your noblest friends from the beginning. Think about the people who couldn’t be here today who are part of your life who are your noble friends. And I‘d like us to do this meditation together. You can look at the noble friends so you can think about the noble families. I’d like you to think， you don‘t have to say this out of your mouth， but you can think it in your mind. May your life go well， may you be happy， may your dreams come true. Think of somebody else now. May your life go well， may you be happy， may your dreams come true. Think of somebody else. May your life go well， may you be happy， may your dreams come true.
Now let’s change the-we‘re all doing that， right？ We’re all doing that. Think of people. Now change the pronoun. We‘ll all change the pronoun.
We’ll change the pronoun from”you“to”we.“May our lives go well， may we be happy， may our dreams come true. May we stay awake and alert， may we stay friendly， may we stay amazed.
“Thank you very much.”
汉语回放（修立芬译）
