我不确定当时是怎么回事，但我知道，那些小小的鸡肉馅饼并不值得我穿城飞跑回家。岁月使我看得愈加清晰，我现在知道了，我当时需要一个友好的地方——一天之中能给我几分钟的温暖认可。相比填饱肚子，我更需要给 我的“精神油箱”加满油，而给“精神油箱”加油是一个好母亲的专长所在。
athletic
【释义】adj. 运动的，运动员的；体格健壮的
【短语】athletic field 运动场
academic
【释义】n. 大学生，大学教师；学者 adj. 学术的；理论的；学院的
【短语】academic degree 学士学位
nifty
【释义】n. 俏皮话 adj. 俏皮的；漂亮的
pecking order
【释义】社会等级（等于peck order）
cafeteria
【释义】n. 自助餐厅
bolt
【释义】n. 螺栓，螺钉；闪电；门闩；弩箭 adv. 突然地；像箭似地；直立地
【短语】bolt upright 笔直地；make a bolt for it 溜之大吉
decade
【释义】n. 十年，十年期
An Unfinished Painting/ 一幅未完成的画
Throughout my life I have been a bit competitive. I have been like this for as long as I can remember since my parents always wanted me to be“on top”. From early on I had a goal in mind to get the best score on a spelling test or run faster than someone at recess.
In middle school，I realized how many other smart and fast people there were. It became obvious that I was not the best anymore. I was discouraged and did not want to try anymore because，to me，there was no point in putting any more effort than the next person if I was not number one. I thought I had let down my parents and I did not know how to fix it. My grades stopped being stellar，I never practiced for piano，I stopped trying to paint，all because my motivation to do anything had dropped tremendously. I wanted to be perfect，but I did not know how.
When high school started，I was at a new school in a new city. I decided to try and got back my motivation and started over. But classes in high school proved to be more of a challenge than classes in middle school，and I had forgotten how to achieve.
I continued to strive to be perfect each semester but always made one bad stroke that offset everything. I began to forget my hobbies and controlled by this perfect mind set. I realized I only went to school to get a grade and not knowledge. When my senior year of high school started， I finally noticed I had been trying to live a life not worth living. I was not living for myself and that was a problem.
My senior year I picked up painting again and enrolled myself in the honors art course in school. I still had this perfectionist mind set when it came to art. I put time and effort into each stroke but was never satisfied. The color would be off，the sizes would not match，and the objects would be too flat，just something was always off. I would add layer after layer of paints trying to get to perfection until I was forced to sign a painting and to move on the next project. I was content with some paintings but I could always point out the flaws.
Towards the end of my senior year，my art teacher gave us more freedom with our art projects. My picture was simply a bee sitting upon a yellow flower. I was not discouraged when my teacher offered pointers because her advice only motivated me to work harder on it. The excitement I had as a kid was finally back. I was finishing this painting faster than I ever expected. I painted many shades of yellow on the flower，but it did not bother me that it was not perfect. I knew I made some mistakes，yet I just worked to make it better. For the first time I was happy with the progress of my painting rather than frustrated for its imperfections.
When others see the painting hung in my room they assume it is a finished piece. In reality， school ended before I could finish. I never signed the painting in case I ever do want to change it. Regardless of the unfinished state of my painting，I wanted it on display because it，s a piece that I find beautiful. My self-esteem was almost gone but the painting brought it back to life.
Paintings do not come in one step. They take a lot of time and patience to get them done. There will always be a mistake to correct because we can be our worst critics. Perfectionism can be a motivator to work hard. My parents assumed pressuring me to be number one would motivate me. Instead it only depressed me that I was not number one，since I assumed I became a disappointment. In reality I was only a disappointment when I stopped trying. It is okay to not be the best at everything as long as you continue to try your best.
Being happy with where you are and motivated to improve is important. Just like the painting on my wall，I am a work in progress. The day I will be done is not definite nor does it matter. I have flaws and mistakes that have been covered by new layers of paint as well as some still showing through. I am working my hardest towards being someone who is as beautiful as the painting，not perfection.
从小到大，我的好胜心就有点强。我的父母总希望我能出类拔萃，打记事起我就有了这样的性格。从很早的时 候开始，我的目标就是要在拼写测试中取得最高的分数或是在别人休息时加倍用功。
上了初中，我才意识到有太多聪明伶俐的人了。很明显我不再是名列前茅的学生了。我很泄气，不想再继续努 力了，因为如果我不是第一，那么比排名在我后面的人更努力就没有任何意义了。我觉得自己辜负了父母的期 望，可又不知道该如何弥补。我的成绩不再稳坐鳌头，我不再花时间练习弹钢琴，也不再提起画笔，做任何事 情的积极性都一落千丈。我只想做到最好，可我不知道该怎么做。
等到上高中时，我在另一个城市的新学校里求学。我本来决定重振旗鼓，重新来过。可是现实是，高中的课程 比初中的课程更具有挑战性，而且我早已忘记要怎样实现自己的雄心壮志了。
每个学期，我依然会为了成为一名优秀的学生而坚持努力，可总会受到打击然后一蹶不振。我甚至忘记了自己 的爱好，一心只想成为优等生。我觉得自己上学不是为了获取知识，而只是为了考试得分。等到高四的时候，我意识到这样的生命没有价值。我根本就不是在为自己而活，这是个值得思考的问题。
就在高四这一年，我重新拾起画笔，报名参加了学校的美术课程。在美术方面我也力求完美。每一笔每一画我 都投入大量的时间和精力，但没有一件作品能让我满意。颜色搭配不和谐，比例大小不相称，描绘的物品不立 体，总是有些不尽如人意的地方。于是我就会抹上一层又一层的颜料做到尽善尽美，等到不得不签名落款时才 会开始画下一幅作品。也有些我很满意的作品，但是我还是能指出些不足之处。
高中毕业之际，在对美术作品发挥的空间上，美术老师给了我们更多自由。我简单地画了一幅一只蜜蜂停在一 朵黄花上的画。当老师给我指导时我不再感觉备受打击，因为她的建议激励我更加努力。孩童时期的兴致又回 来了。我很快完成了作品，这超出了我的预想。我用了许多种黄色来描绘那朵花，我不再因为它不够完美而烦 躁不安。我也知道还是有些不足之处，不过我会努力做得更好。我第一次不再因为瑕疵而灰心丧气了，而是为 自己绘画所取得的进步感到快乐和满足。
当人们看到我挂在房间的这幅绘画作品时，都以为这是一幅完成的画作。事实上，画还没完成我就已经毕业了。我从没在这上面落款，这样我就可以在上面稍作修改。虽然这是一幅未完成的画作，但我很愿意公开展出，因为这是一幅我认为非常漂亮的作品。本来我都快丧失自尊心，但是这幅画作让我重新找回了自信。
绘画不是一蹴而就的，完成一幅画需要花费大量的时间和耐心，我们总会发现些需要更正的错误，因为我们就 是自己最苛刻的评论家。追求完美固然能激励我更加勤奋，我的父母认为有压力就有动力，可是这样只会让我 在受挫时倍感失落，因为我会觉得自己辜负了父母对我的期望。事实上，只有放弃才会令人失望。只要你继续 尽力而为，不能做到出类拔萃也无所谓。
快乐地接受现状，不断激励自己进步是重要的。就像挂在墙上的那幅画，我自己就是一个不断需要完善的作品。什么时候完善好没有确切时间，也不重要。我有缺陷，也会犯错误，就像那幅画作依稀可见新加上的颜料。我会尽自己最大的努力做一个像这幅画一样美的人，而不是做一个完美无瑕、无可挑剔的人。
competitive
【释义】adj. 竞争的；比赛的；求胜心切的
【短语】competitive examination 答辩考试，竞争考试；
competitive state 竞技状态，国家竞争
stellar
【释义】adj. 星的；星球的；主要的；一流的
【短语】stellar structure 恒星结构；stellar birthline 恒星诞生线
semester
【释义】n. 学期；半年
【短语】one semester 一学期，正在翻译；Early Semester 学期制
perfectionist
【释义】n. 完美主义者，追求完美的人；至善论者
【短语】Nervous Perfectionist 惴惴不安事事求全；
