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第15章 Jane(excerpted)(2)

Say,“What do you want,Master Reed?”was the answer.“1 want you to come here;’and seating himself in an armchair,he intimated gesture that 1 was to approach and stand before him.

John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old;four years older than I,for 1 was but ten:large and stout for his age,with a dingy and un—wholesome skin;thick lineaments in a spacious visage,heavy limbs and large extremities.He gorged himself habitually at table,which made him bilious,and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.He ought now to have been at school;but his mama had taken him home for a month or two,“on account of his delicate health.”Mr.Miles,the mas—ter,affirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweet—meats sent him from home;but the mother’S heart turned from an opin—ion SO harsh,and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John’S sal—lowness was owing to over—application and,perhaps,to pining after home.

John had not much affection for his mother and sisters,and an antip—athy tO me.He bullied and punished me;not two or three times in the week,nor once or twice in the day,but continually:every nerve I hadfeared him,and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.There were moments when 1 was bewildered by the terror he in—spired,because I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or hisinflictions;the servants did not like to offend their young master by tak—ing my part against him,and Mrs.Reed was blind and deaf on the sub—ject:she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me,though he did both now and then in her very presence,more frequently,however,behind her back.

Habitually obedient to John,I came up to his chair:he spent somethree minutes in thrusting out his tongue at me as far as he could without damaging the roots:I knew he would soon strike,and while dreading the blow,I mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would presently deal it.1 wonder if he read that notion in my face;for,all at once,without speaking,he struck suddenly and strongly.I tottered,and on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his chair.

“That is for your impudence in answering mama awhile since.’’said he,“and for your sneaking way of getting behind curtains,and for the look you had in your eyes two minutes since,you rat!”

Accustomed tO John Reed’S abuse,I never had an idea of replyingtO it;my care was how to endure the blow which would certainly followthe insult.

“What were you doing behind the curtain?”he asked.

“1 was reading.”

“Show the book.’’

I returned tO the window and fetched it thence.

“You have no business to take our books;you are a dependant,ma—ma says;you have no money;your father left you none;you ought tObeg,and not to live here with gentlemen’S children like US,and eat thesame meals we do,and wear clothes at our mama’s expense.Now,I’11teach you to rummage my bookshelves:for they are mine;all the housebelongs to me,or will do in a few years.Go and stand by the door,out ofthe way of the mirror and the windows.’’

I did SO,not at first aware what was his intention;but when I sawhim lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it,I instinctively star—ted aside with a cry of alarm:not soon enough,however;the volume wasflung,it hit me,and I fell,striking my head against the door and it.The cut bled,the pain was sharp:my terror had passed its climax;otherfeelings succeeded.

“Wicked and cruel boy!”I said.“You are like a murderer—you arelike a slave—driver—you are like the Roman emperors!”

I had read Goldsmith’S History of Rome,and had formed my opin—ion of Nero,Caligula,etc.Also I had drawn parallels in silence,which Inever thought thus tO have declared aloud.

“What!what!”he cried.“Did she say that to me?Did you hearher.Eliza and Georgiana?Won’t I tell mama?but first,He rail head—long at me:I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder:he had closed witha desperate thing.I really saw in him a tyrant,a murderer.I felt a drop ortwo of blood from my head trickle down my neck,and was sensible ofsomewhat pungent suffering:these sensations for the time predominatedover fear.and I received him in frantic sort.I don’t very well know whatI did with my hands.but he called me“Rat!Rat!”and bellowed out a—loud.Aid was near him:Eliza and Georgiana had run for Mrs.Reed,whowas gone upstairs:she now came upon the scene,followed by Bessie andher maid Abbot.We were parted:I heard the words.

“Dear!dear!What a fury to fly at Master John!”

“Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!”

Then Mrs.Reed subjoined一

“Take her away to the red—room.and lock her in there.’’Fourhands were immediately laid upon me,and 1 was borne upstairs.

I resisted all the way:a new thing for me,and a circumstance whichgreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were dis—posed to entertain of me.The fact is,1 was a trifle beside myself;or ratherOut of myself,as the French would say:1 was conscious that a moment’S mutiny had already rendered me liable to s~ange penalties,and,like any other rebel slave,I felt resolved,in my desperation,to go all lengths.

“Hold her alms,Miss Abbot:she’S like a mad cat.’’

“For shame!for shame!”cried the lady’S maid.“What shocking conduct,Miss Eyre,to strike a young gentleman,your benefactress’S son!Your young master.”

“Master!How is he my master?Am I a servant?”

“No;you are less than a servant,for you do nothing for your keep.There,sit down,and think over your wickedness.’’

They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs.Reed,and had thrust me upon a stool:my impulse was to rise from it like a spring;their two pair of hands arrested me instantly.

“If you don’t sit still,you must be tied down,said Bessie.Miss Ab—bot,lend me your garters;she would break mine directly.’’

Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.This preparation for bonds,and the additional ignominy it inferred,took a little of the excitement out of me.

“Don’t take them off,”I cried;“1 will not stir.’’

In guarantee whereof,I attached myself to my seat by my hands.

“Mind you don’t,”said Bessie;and when she had ascertained that 1 was really subsiding,she loosened her hold of me;then she and Miss Ab—bot stood with folded arms,looking darkly and doubtfully on my face,as incredulous of my sanity.

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