Whether you live in a state of love or a state of upset depends，not on your circumstances，but on how you relate to your circumstances.A good way to see this is to look at upsets.
Upsets seem to be caused by what happens but they’re not.Upsets are caused by your fighting and resisting what happens.To see this in your life，select a recent upset.Now notice what would happen if somehow youwere at peace with what happened.There would be no upset.
There would be no upset because upsets aren’t caused by what happened.Upsets are caused by fighting and resisting what happened.The moment you take away the fighting and resisting，the upset disappears.
To live the experience of love，and to create a life that works，you need to stop the fighting and resisting.You do this through a process called letting go.
Letting go is the inner action that releases the fear and upset.The moment you let go，everything seems to change.With the fear and upset gone，you see your situation very differently.You become creative and discover solutions that you could never have seen before.
To let go，you need to do the opposite of fighting and resisting.You need to let go of your demands and expectations for how life should be and make peace with the way life is.
Find what you are resisting.Then give it full permission to be there.If you have a fear of losing a relationship，be willing to be it.If you are resisting the way someone is，then give the person full permission to be that way.
Be willing for anything.Set yourself free inside.Then take whatever action you need to have your life be great.
Keep in mind that letting go is a state of mind and has nothing to do with your actions.Letting go is the process that removes the fear and upset so you can see what action you need to take.
In your heart，you can be willing to lose someone，but in your actions，do everything you can to make sure the person feels so loved that he or she would never want to leave.
To make letting go a little easier，there are several steps you can take.The first is trusting.Trust is that no matter what happens you will be okay.
When you know that you will be okay，letting go becomes relatively easy.
Trusting is also telling the truth.You really will be okay no matter what happens.Life is only threatening when you resist.So stop resisting and trust.Trust is that no matter what happens you will be okay.
The second step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel your hurt.Be willing to feel all the hurt and the feelings of being not okay that your circumstances reactivate.Be willing to feel the hurt of being worthless or not“good enough”.
The avoidance of this hurt is what makes you resist.Once you are willing to feel this hurt，the need to resist disappears.You can then let go.
For example，Robert had a fear of losing his wife Jan.To make sure she didn’t leave，he hung on to her.His hanging on then pushed her further and further away.Robert was afraid of losing Jan because if she left him，this would reactivate all his hurt of feeling not worth loving.To avoid this hurt.He hung on.
Once he was willing to feel his hurt，the loss of Jan ceased to be a treat.He no longer needed to hang on and became willing for her to leave.The moment this happened he changed the way he related to her.Instead of needing Jan，he started treasuring her.Jan then felt so loved and able to be herself，she didn’t want to leave.
This is what happens in life.The more you are able to let go and flow with life，the more life takes care of itself.You may not always get what you want，but you can always be free inside.You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness.You can create a life that works.
人生懂舍才有得，有时候放手不代表失去，可能是永久的拥有。顺其自然，凡事莫强求。心中有爱，幸福自然会围绕在你身边……
参考翻译（李定纹）
爱的体验，其实是一种内心的状态。当它存在时，你觉得幸福、充满活力而且自由。你会感觉自己处于最佳状态，生活美好。因为你把爱的体验带入了生活，生活进行得毫不费力，自然好事连连。
爱的反面是恐惧和烦恼。处在这种状态时，你会觉得内心惘然，失去了创造力和辨别力。视野变窄，对琐事不当的处理往往让情况变得更麻烦。
活在爱里还是活在烦恼中，不光取决于你周围的环境，更取决于你的应对方式。一个好方法就是直面你的烦恼。
烦恼似乎是由所发生的事件引起的，但其实不然。烦恼是因为你拒绝接受所发生的事而产生的。不信就选一个近期令你烦恼的事情来假设一下。如果你对所发生的事保持平和的心态，你就会注意到，其实所谓烦恼，又有什么可烦恼的呢？
有一些事情发生的本身并不会引起烦恼。因为烦恼是因为人们对所发生的事的抵触和对抗而产生的情绪。当你不再抵触和对抗，那烦恼也会随之消失。
活在爱的体验中，创造一种可行的生活，你需要停止这种抵抗。要达到这个目的，你需要经过一个过程，这个过程就称之为“顺其自然”。
顺其自然是一种心理行动，帮你释怀你的恐惧和烦恼。在你放手的这一刻，一切都将改变。随着恐惧和烦恼的消失，你会进入一个完全不同的精神领域。你变得具有创造力，能够发现新的解决问题的方式。
顺其自然，你需要去做的就是不要抗争、放弃对抗。该是怎样就是怎样，保持平和的心态。
找到你在抗拒的东西。然后完全认可它的存在。如果你害怕失去某种人际关系，那么就乐意安于这种关系。如果你在抗拒某人，那么就试着完全认可他现在样子。
试着适应所有的事。从内心释放自己。然后采取一切能使你的生活变得更棒的行动。
谨记顺其自然是一种内心的状态，与你的行动无关。它是消除恐惧和沮丧的过程，使你看清你需要如何做来解决问题。
在你心里，你可以失去某人，但在行动上，一定要尽全力让对方去感受你的爱，因此不想离去。
为了让自己轻松地顺其自然，你可以采取几个步骤。第一步就是信任。信任就是不管发生什么，你都没有疑问。当你知道你不会有什么问题时，顺其自然就变得相对简单了。
信任也意味着要说实话。不管发生什么，你要确定自己不会有问题。当你在抗拒的时候，生活就只会成为一个威胁。因此，停止抗拒，学会去信任。信任就是不管发生什么事你都不介意。
顺其自然的第二步就是欣然接受你的伤痛：去体会周围环境带给你的所有伤痛和失望；去体会毫无价值或“不够好”所带来的伤痛。逃避这种伤痛就会造成你的抗拒心态。一旦你愿意去体会这种伤痛，这种心态就消失了。你就能释怀了。比如，罗伯特有一种会失去他妻子简的恐惧。为了确保她没有离开，他紧抓着她不放。这种行为导致他与妻子渐行渐远。罗伯特害怕失去简，因为如果她离开了，他就会觉得自己不值得被爱。为了避免这份伤痛，他不愿放手。
一旦他愿意接受这份伤痛，失去简的感觉就不会总缠着他。他不再需要紧抓不放，而是能够接受她的离开。此时，他们之间的相处方式就会改变。他不再纠缠，而是开始珍惜她。简也体会到了自己是如此的被爱着，而且这份爱毫无负担，就不再想离开了。
这就是发生在生活中的事。有时候坦然会让你的生活越来越好。你不可能总是得到你想要的，但你总是能保持内心的潇洒自如。你可以恢复内心的平和与自身的效率，就可以打造一个令你满意的生活。
What Will Matter 在乎你该在乎的
Anonymous 佚名
Ready or not，some day it will all come to an end.There will be no more sunrises，no days，no hours or minutes.All the things you collected，whether treasured or forgotten，will pass to someone else.
Your wealth，fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges，resentments，frustrations，and jealousies will finally disappear.So，too，your hopes，ambitions，plans，and to-do lists will all expire.The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from，or on what side of the tracks you lived.It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.Your gender，skin color，ethnic will be irrelevant.
So what will matter？How will the value of your days be measured？
What will matter is not what you bought，but what you built；not what you got，but what you gave.
