He did not feel any temptation to tell lies to her. It was even a sort of love-offering to start off by telling the worst.
“I hated the sight of you，” he said. “I wanted to rape you and then murder you afterwards. Two weeks ago I thought seriously of smashing your head in with a cobblestone. If you really want to know， I imagined that you had something to do with the Thought Police.”
The girl laughed delightedly， evidently taking this as a tribute to the excellence of her disguise.
“Not the Thought Police！ You didn’t honestly think that？”
“Well， perhaps not exactly that. But from your general appearance — merely because you’re young and fresh and healthy， you understand — I thought that probably—”
“You thought I was a good Party member. Pure in word and deed. Banners， processions， slogans， games， community hikes， all that stuff. And you thought that if I had a quarter of a chance I’d denounce you as a thought-criminal and get you killed off？”
“Yes， something of that kind. A great many young girls are like that， you know.”
“It’s this bloody thing that does it，” she said， ripping off the scarlet sash of the Junior Anti-Sex League and flinging it on to a bough. Then， as though touching her waist had reminded her of something， she felt in the pocket of her overalls and produced a small slab of chocolate. She broke it in half and gave one of the pieces to Winston. Even before he had taken it he knew by the smell that it was very unusual chocolate. It was dark and shiny， and was wrapped in silver paper. Chocolate normally was dullbrown crumbly stuff that tasted， as nearly as one could describe it， like the smoke of a rubbish fire. But at some time or another he had tasted chocolate like the piece she had given him. The first whiff of its scent had stirred up some memory which he could not pin down， but which was powerful and troubling.
“Where did you get this stuff？” he said.
“Black market，” she said indifferently. “Actually I am that sort of girl， to look at. I’m good at games. I was a troop-leader in the Spies. I do voluntary work three evenings a week for the Junior Anti-Sex League. Hours and hours I’ve spent pasting their bloody rot all over London. I always carry one end of a banner in the processions. I always look cheerful and I never shirk anything. Always yell with the crowd， that’s what I say. It’s the only way to be safe.”
The first fragment of chocolate had melted on Winston’s tongue. The taste was delightful. But there was still that memory moving round the edges of his consciousness， something strongly felt but not reducible to definite shape， like an object seen out of the corner of one’s eye. He pushed it away from him， aware only that it was the memory of some action which he would have liked to undo but could not.
“You are very young，” he said. “You are ten or fifteen years younger than I am. What could you see to attract you in a man like me？”
“It was something in your face. I thought I’d take a chance. I’m good at spotting people who don’t belong. As soon as I saw you I knew you were against them.”
Them， it appeared， meant the Party， and above all the Inner Party， about whom she talked with an open jeering hatred which made Winston feel uneasy， although he knew that they were safe here if they could be safe anywhere. A thing that astonished him about her was the coarseness of her language. Party members were supposed not to swear， and Winston himself very seldom did swear， aloud， at any rate. Julia， however， seemed unable to mention the Party， and especially the Inner Party， without using the kind of words that you saw chalked up in dripping alley-ways. He did not dislike it. It was merely one symptom of her revolt against the Party and all its ways， and somehow it seemed natural and healthy， like the sneeze of a horse that smells bad hay. They had left the clearing and were wandering again through the chequered shade， with their arms round each other’s waists whenever it was wide enough to walk two abreast. He noticed how much softer her waist seemed to feel now that the sash was gone. They did not speak above a whisper. Outside the clearing， Julia said， it was better to go quietly. Presently they had reached the edge of the little wood. She stopped him.
“Don’t go out into the open. There might be someone watching. We’re all right if we keep behind the boughs.”They were standing in the shade of hazel bushes. The sunlight， filtering through innumerable leaves， was still hot on their faces. Winston looked out into the field beyond， and underwent a curious， slow shock of recognition. He knew it by sight. An old， closebitten pasture， with a footpath wandering across it and a molehill here and there. In the ragged hedge on the opposite side the boughs of the elm trees swayed just perceptibly in the breeze， and their leaves stirred faintly in dense masses like women’s hair. Surely somewhere nearby， but out of sight， there must be a stream with green pools where dace were swimming？
“Isn’t there a stream somewhere near here？” he whispered.
“That’s right， there is a stream. It’s at the edge of the next field， actually. There are fish in it， great big ones. You can watch them lying in the pools under the willow trees， waving their tails.”
“It’s the Golden Country — almost，” he murmured.
“The Golden Country？”
“It’s nothing， really. A landscape I’ve seen sometimes in a dream.”
“Look！” whispered Julia.
