dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. MISTRESS QUICKLY I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. DOCTOR CAIUS Vell. SIMPLE Ay, forsooth; to desire her to-- MISTRESS QUICKLY Peace, I pray you. DOCTOR CAIUS Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale. SIMPLE To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage. MISTRESS QUICKLY This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. DOCTOR CAIUS Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper.
Tarry you a little-a while.
Writes MISTRESS QUICKLY [Aside to SIMPLE] I am glad he is so quiet:
if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can:
and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,--I may call him my master, look you, for Ikeep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do all myself,-- SIMPLE [Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY] 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand. MISTRESS QUICKLY [Aside to SIMPLE] Are you avised o' that?
you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding,--to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it,--my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,--that's neither here nor there. DOCTOR CAIUS You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog:
Exit SIMPLE MISTRESS QUICKLY Alas, he speaks but for his friend. DOCTOR CAIUS It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, Ivill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, Iwill myself have Anne Page. MISTRESS QUICKLY Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer! DOCTOR CAIUS Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY MISTRESS QUICKLY You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, Iknow Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. FENTON [Within] Who's within there? ho! MISTRESS QUICKLY Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.
Enter FENTON FENTON How now, good woman? how dost thou? MISTRESS QUICKLY The better that it pleases your good worship to ask. FENTON What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? MISTRESS QUICKLY In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. FENTON Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit? MISTRESS QUICKLY Troth, sir, all is in his hands above:
but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye? FENTON Yes, marry, have I; what of that? MISTRESS QUICKLY Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart.
I
shall never laugh but in that maid's company!
But indeed she is given too much to allicholy and musing: but for you--well, go to. FENTON Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf:
if thou seest her before me, commend me. MISTRESS QUICKLY Will I? i'faith, that we will; and Iwill tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. FENTON Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. MISTRESS QUICKLY Farewell to your worship.
Exit FENTON
Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;for I know Anne's mind as well as another does.
Out upon't! what have I forgot?