And now a word to the Athenians.Have you no memory left of how, in the days when you wore the tunic of slaves, the Laconians came, spear in hand, and slew a host of Thessalians and partisans of Hippias the tyrant? They, and they only, fought on your side on that eventful day; they delivered you from despotism, and thanks to them our nation could change the short tunic of the slave for the long cloak of the free man.
LACONIAN ENVOY (looking at LYSISTRATA)
I have never see a woman of more gracious dignity.
MAGISTRATE (looking at PEACE)
I have never seen a woman with a finer body!
LYSISTRATA
Bound by such ties of mutual kindness, how can you bear to be at war? Stop, stay the hateful strife, be reconciled; what hinders you?
LACONIAN ENVOY
We are quite ready, if they will give us back our rampart.
LYSISTRATA
What rampart, my dear man?
LACONIAN ENVOY
Pylos, which we have been asking for and craving for ever so long.
MAGISTRATE
In the Sea-god's name, you shall never have it!
LYSISTRATA
Agree, my friends, agree.
MAGISTRATE
But then what city shall we be able to stir up trouble in?
LYSISTRATA
Ask for another place in exchange.
MAGISTRATE
Ah! that's the ticket! Well, to begin with, give us Echinus, the Maliac gulf adjoining, and the two legs of Megara.
LACONIAN ENVOY
No, by the Dioscuri, surely not all that, my dear sir.
LYSISTRATA
Come to terms; never make a difficulty of two legs more or less!
MAGISTRATE (his eye on PEACE)
Well, I'm ready to strip down and get to work right now.
(He takes off his mantle.)
LACONIAN ENVOY (following out this idea)
And I also, to dung it to start with.
LYSISTRATA
That's just what you shall do, once peace is signed.So, if you really want to make it, go consult your allies about the matter.
MAGISTRATE
What allies, I should like to know? Why, we are all erected;there's no one who is not mad to be mating.What we all want is to be in bed with our wives; how should our allies fail to second our project?
LACONIAN ENVOY
And ours too, for certain sure!
MAGISTRATE
The Carystians first and foremost by the gods!
LYSISTRATA
Well said, indeed! Now go and purify yourselves for entering the Acropolis, where the women invite you to supper; we will empty our provision baskets to do you honour.At table, you will exchange oaths and pledges; then each man will go home with his wife.
MAGISTRATE
Come along then, and as quick as may be.
LACONIAN ENVOY
Lead on; I'm your man.
MAGISTRATE
Quick, quick's the word, say I.
(They follow LYSISTRATA into the Acropolis.)
CHORUS OF WOMEN (singing)
Embroidered stuffs, and dainty tunics, and flowing gowns, and golden ornaments, everything I have, I offer them to you with all my heart; take them all for your children, for your girls, in case they are chosen Canephori.I invite you every one to enter, come in and choose whatever you will; there is nothing so well fastened, you cannot break the seals, and carry away the contents.Look about you everywhere...you won't find a blessed thing, unless you have sharper eyes than mine.And if any of you lacks corn to feed his slaves and his young and numerous family, why, I have a few grains of wheat at home; let him take what I have to give, a big twelve-pound loaf included.So let my poorer neighbours all come with bags and wallets; my man, Manes, shall give them corn; but I warn them not to come near my door, but-beware the dog!
(Another MAGISTRATE enters, and begins knocking at the gate.)SECOND MAGISTRATE
I say, you, open the door! (To the WOMEN) Go your way, I tell you.(As the women sit down in front of the gate) Why, bless me, they're sitting down now; I shall have to singe 'em with my torch to make 'em stir! What impudence! I won't take this.Oh, well, if it's absolutely necessary, just to please you, we'll have to take the trouble.
AN ATHENIAN
And I'll share it with you.
(He brandishes the torch he is carrying and the CHORUS OF WOMENdeparts.The CHORUS OF OLD MEN follows shortly after.)SECOND MAGISTRATE
No, no, you must be off-or I'll tear your hair out, I will; be off, I say, and don't annoy the Laconian envoys; they're just coming out from the banquet-ball.
ATHENIAN