In all things we excel.Believing this, A hundred maidens here have sworn to place Their feet upon his neck.If we succeed, We'll treat him better than he treated us:
But if we fail, why, then let hope fail too!
Let no one care a penny how she looks--
Let red be worn with yellow -- blue with green--Crimson with scarlet -- violet with blue!
Let all your things misfit, and you yourselves At inconvenient moments come undone!
Let hair-pins lose their virtue: let the hook Disdain the fascination of the eye--The bashful button modestly evade The soft embraces of the button-hole!
Let old associations all dissolve, Let Swan secede from Edgar -- Gask from Gask, Sewell from Cross -- Lewis from Allenby!
In other words, let Chaos come again!
(Coming down) Who lectures in the Hall of Arts to-day?
Blanche: I, madam, on Abstract Philosophy.
There I propose considering, at length, Three points -- The Is, the Might Be, and the Must.
Whether the Is, from being actual fact, Is more important than the vague Might Be, Or the Might Be, from taking wider scope, Is for that reason greater than the Is:
And lastly, how the Is and Might Be stand Compared with the inevitable Must!
Princess:The subject's deep -- how do you treat it, pray?
Blan.: Madam, I take three possibilities, And strike a balance then between the three:
As thus: The Princess Ida Is our head, the Lady Psyche Might Be, -- Lady Blanche, Neglected Blanche, inevitably Must.
Given these three hypotheses -- to find The actual betting against each of them!
Princess:Your theme's ambitious: pray you bear in mind Who highest soar fall farthest.Fare you well, You and your pupils! Maidens, follow me.
[Exeunt Princess and maidens.
Manet Lady Blanche.
EXEUNT FOR PRINCESS IDA & GIRLS
"And thus to Empyrean Height"
Chorus: And thus to empyrean height Of ev'ry kind of lore, In search of wisdom's pure delight, Ambitiously we soar.
In trying to achieve success No envy racks our heart, For all we know and all we guess We mutually impart!
And all the knowledge we possess, We mutually impart, We mutually impart, impart.
Blan.: I should command here -- I was born to rule, But do I rule? I don't.Why? I don't know.
I shall some day.Not yet, I bide my time.
I once was Some One -- and the Was Will Be.
The Present as we speak becomes the Past, The Past repeats itself, and so is Future!
This sounds involved.It's not.It's right enough.
(Since 1935 the following song has been usually omitted)SONG (Lady Blanche)"Come, mighty Must!"
Blanche: Come mighty Must!
Inevitable Shall!
In thee I trust.
Time weaves my coronal!
Go, mocking Is!
Go, disappointing Was!
That I am this Ye are the cursed cause!
Ye are the cursed cause!
Yet humble second shall be first, I wean And dead and buried be the curst Has Been!
Oh, weak Might Be!
Oh, May, Might, Could, Would, Should!
How pow'rless ye For evil or for good!
In ev'ry sense Your moods I cheerless call.
Whate'er your tense Ye are imperfect all.
Ye have deceiv'd the trust I've shown In ye!
Ye have deceiv'd the trust I've shown In ye!
I've shown in ye!
Away! The Mighty Must alone Shall be!
[Exit Lady Blanche[Enter Hilarion, Cyril, and Florian, climbing over wall, and creep-ing cautiously among the trees and rocks at the back of the stage.]
TRIO (Cyril, Hilarion and Florian)
"Gently, gently"
All: Gently, gently, Evidently We are safe so far, After scaling Fence and paling, Here, at last, we are!
Florian: In this college, Useful knowledge Ev'rywhere one finds, And already, Growing steady, We've enlarged our mindsCyril:We learnt that prickly cactus Has power to attract us When we fall.
All: When we fall!
Hilarion: That nothing man unsettles Like a bed of stinging nettles, Short or tall.
All: Short or tall!
Florian: That bull-dogs feed on throttles--That we don't like broken bottles On a wall.
All: On a wall!
Hilarion: That spring-guns breathe defiance!
And that burglary's a science After all!
All: After all!
Florian: A Woman's college! maddest folly going!
What can girls learn within its walls worth knowing?
I'll lay a crown (the Princess shall decide it)I'll teach them twice as much in half-an-hour outside it.
Hilarion: Hush, scoffer; ere you sound your puny thunder, List to their aims, and bow your head in wonder!
They intend to send a wire To the moonCyril &Florian: To the moon;Hilarion: And they'll set the Thames on fire Very soonCyril &Florian: Very soon;Hilarion: Then they'll learn to make silk purses With their rigsCyril &Florian: With their rigs.
Hilarion: From the ears of Lady Circe's Piggy-wigsCyril &Florian: Piggy-wigs.
Hilarion: And weasels at their slumbers They trepanCyril &Florian: They trepan;Hilarion: To get sunbeams from cucumbers They've a planCyril & Florian:They've a plan.
Hilarion: They've a firmly rooted notion They can cross the Polar Ocean, And they'll find Perpetual Motion, If they canAll: If they can.
These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see.
These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see!
Cyril:As for fashion, they forswear it, So they sayHilarion &Florian: So they say;Cyril:And the circle -- they will square it Some fine dayHilarion &Florian: Some fine day;Cyril:Then the little pigs they're teaching For to flyHilarion &Florian: For to fly;Cyril:And the niggers they'll be bleaching, By and byHilarion &Florian: By and by!
Cyril:Each newly joined aspirant To the clanHilarion &Florian: To the clanCyril:Must repudiate the tyrant Known as ManHilarion &Florian: Known as Man.
Cyril:They'll mock at him and flout him, For they do not care about him And they're "going to do without him"If they canAll: If they can!
These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see.
These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see!
Hilarion:So that's the Princess Ida's castle! Well, They must be lovely girls, indeed, if it requires Such walls as those to keep intruders off!
