登陆注册
15687400000016

第16章 CHAPTER III(4)

While his wife lived, all worldly misfortunes seemed as nothing to him;her strong sense and lively faculty of hope upheld him from despair; her sympathy was always ready, and the invalid's room had an atmosphere of peace and encouragement which affected all who entered it. But when Ruth was about twelve, one morning in the busy hay-time, Mrs. Hilton was left alone for some hours. This had often happened before, nor had she seemed weaker than usual when they had gone forth to the field; but on their return, with merry voices, to fetch the dinner prepared for the haymakers, they found an unusual silence brooding over the house; no low voice called out gently to welcome them, and ask after the day's progress; and, on entering the little parlour, which was called Mrs. Hilton's, and was sacred to her, they found her lying dead on her accustomed sofa. Quite calm and peaceful she lay; there had been no struggle at last; the struggle was for the survivors, and one sank under it. Her husband did not make much ado at first--at least, not in outward show; her memory seemed to keep in check all external violence of grief; but, day by day, dating from his wife's death, his mental powers decreased. He was still a hale-looking elderly man, and his bodily health appeared as good as ever; but he sat for hours in his easy-chair, looking into the fire, not moving, nor speaking, unless when it was absolutely necessary to answer repeated questions. If Ruth, with coaxings and draggings, induced him to come out with her, he went with measured steps around his fields, his head bent to the ground with the same abstracted, unseeing look; never smiling-never changing the expression of his face, not even to one of deeper sadness, when anything occurred which might be supposed to remind him of his dead wife. But, in this abstraction from all outward things, his worldly affairs went ever lower down. He paid money away, or received it, as if it had been so' much water; the gold mines of Potosi could not have touched the deep grief of his soul; but God in in His mercy knew the sure balm, and sent the Beautiful Messenger to take the weary one home. After his death, the creditors were the chief people who appeared to take any interest in the affairs; and it seemed strange to Ruth to see people, whom she scarcely knew, examining and touching all that she had been accustomed to consider as precious and sacred. Her father had made his will at her birth. With the pride of newly and late-acquired paternity, he had considered the office of guardian to his little darling as one which would have been an additional honour to the lord-lieutenant of the county; but as he had not the pleasure of his lordship's acquaintance, he selected the person of most consequence amongst those whom he did know; not any very ambitious appointment in those days of comparative prosperity; but certainly the flourishing maltster of Skelton was a little surprised, when, fifteen years later, he learnt that he was executor to a will bequeathing many vanished hundreds of pounds, and guardian to a young girl whom he could not remember ever to have seen. He was a sensible, hard-headed man of the world; having a very fair proportion of conscience as consciences go; indeed, perhaps more than many people;for he had some ideas of duty extending to the circle beyond his own family, and did not, as some would have done, decline acting altogether, but speedily summoned the creditors, examined into the accounts, sold up the farming-stock, and discharged all the debts; paid about £80 into the Skelton bank for a week, while he inquired for a situation or apprenticeship of some kind for poor heart-broken Ruth; heard of Mrs. Mason's; arranged all with her in two short conversations; drove over for Ruth in his gig; waited while she and the old servant packed up her clothes; and grew very impatient while she ran, with her eyes streaming with tears, round the garden, tearing off in a passion of love whole boughs of favourite China and damask roses, late flowering against the casement-window of what had been her mother's room. When she took her seat in the gig, she was little able, even if she had been inclined, to profit by her guardian's lectures on economy and self-reliance; but she was quiet and silent, looking forward with longing to the night-time, when, in her bedroom, she might give way to all her passionate sorrow at being wrenched from the home where she had lived with her parents, in that utter absence of any anticipation of change, which is either the blessing or the curse of childhood. But at night there were four other girls in her room, and she could not cry before them. She watched and waited till, one by one, they dropped off to sleep, and then she buried her face in the pillow, and shook with sobbing grief; and then she paused to conjure up, with fond luxuriance, every recollection of the happy days, so little valued in their uneventful peace while they lasted, so passionately regretted when once gone for ever; to remember every look and word of the dear mother, and to moan afresh over the change caused by her death--the first clouding in of Ruth's day of life. It was Jenny's sympathy on this first night, when awakened by Ruth's irrepressible agony, that had made the bond between them. But Ruth's loving disposition, continually sending forth fibres in search of nutriment, found no other object for regard among those of her daily life to compensate for the want of natural ties. But, almost insensibly, Jenny's place in Ruth's heart was filled up; there was some one who listened with tender interest to all her little revelations;who questioned her about her early days of happiness, and, in return, spoke of his own childhood--not so golden in reality as Ruth's, but more dazzling, when recounted with stories of the beautiful cream-coloured Arabian pony, and the old picture-gallery in the house, and avenues, and terraces, and fountains in the garden, for Ruth to paint, with all the vividness of imagination, as scenery and background for the figure which was growing by slow degrees most prominent in her thoughts. It must not be supposed that this was affected all at once, though the intermediate stages have been passed over. On Sunday, Mr. Bellingham only spoke to her to receive the information about the panel; nor did he come to St. Nicholas' the next, nor yet the following Sunday. But the third he walked by her side a little way, and, seeing her annoyance, he left her; and then she wished for him back again, and found the day very dreary, and wondered why a strange, undefined feeling, had made her imagine she was doing wrong in walking alongside of one so kind and good as Mr. Bellingham;it had been very foolish of her to he self-conscious all the time, and if ever he spoke to her again she would not think of what people might say, but enjoy the pleasure which his kind words and evident interest in her might give. Then she thought it was very likely he never would notice her again, for she knew she had been very rude with her short answers;it was very provoking that she had behaved so rudely. She sould be sixteen in another month, and she was still childish and awkward. Thus she lectured herself, after parting with Mr. Bellingham; and the consequence was, that on the following Sunday she was ten times as blushing and conscious, and (Mr. Bellingham thought) ten times more beautiful than ever. He suggested that, instead of going straight home through High Street, she should take the round by the Leasowes; at first she declined, but then, suddenly wondering and questioning herself why she refused a thing which was, as far as reason and knowledge ( her knowledge) went, so innocent, and which was certainly so tempting and pleasant, she agreed to go the round; and, when she was once in the meadows that skirted the town, she forgot all doubt and awkwardness--nay, almost forgot the presence of Mr. Bellingham--in her delight at the new, tender beauty of an early spring day in February. Among the last year's brown ruins, heaped together by the wind in the hedgerows, she found the fresh, green, crinkled leaves and pale star-like flowers of the primroses.

同类推荐
  • 大乘显识经

    大乘显识经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 琴赋

    琴赋

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 受用三水要行法

    受用三水要行法

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 锦江禅灯目录

    锦江禅灯目录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 岚斋集

    岚斋集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 神战江湖

    神战江湖

    眼见对方的剑就要刺到自己身上,叶秋急忙向旁边一闪,当真疾若闪电。小孩看见心中暗叹了一声:“好厉害的轻功!”其实并非叶秋轻功好,叶秋也根本不会什么轻功,因为家里穷,并没有多余的钱财给叶秋去习武,所以叶秋只会一些简单的基本招式,而轻功根本就没接触过,之所以能躲过这样快的一剑,完全得益于千万次的挥剑,劈刀。因为每次出剑或出刀都会不知觉的向前一步或退后一步,久而久之,叶秋的这一步之快已到了匪夷所思的地步。他将这种步法称之为一步之差。
  • 经典思维50法

    经典思维50法

    本书选择了五十种经典思维方式,阐述了做人做事的道理。强调了正确思维的重要。
  • 正蒙

    正蒙

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 锁爱红颜

    锁爱红颜

    一夜灭门,她从天真女童成为令人闻风丧胆的杀手门徒,然而,当绝世神功被废,女子身份被揭穿,却辗转被几个男人锁在身边,他们以爱之名,让她的身与心负伤累累,究竟谁才是她共度一生的良人?
  • 爱情契约宣言

    爱情契约宣言

    景洋曾跟妈妈说,一定要娶一个非常善良的女孩做老婆,不过那个善良的女孩却一直没有出现,他没有选择凑合,一直在等待,直到那个女孩的出现,她的善良纯洁让景洋有种保护她的冲动,她让景洋有了结婚的冲动……
  • IKON成员是我哥

    IKON成员是我哥

    【不喜勿喷】独身来到韩国的知恩,会和ikon成员发生什么趣事呢?权志龙又是怎么回事呢?
  • 冥使在现代

    冥使在现代

    一个青年因为任务来到人间,遇到同样从冥界出来的小美女,两人携手同行,降妖除魔。
  • 破西风

    破西风

    这是一条无人看清的道!这也是一条未知不明的道!这就是一条行走在脚下的道!一颗珠石引发的仇恨,一颗石珠成就天帝。千磨万击还坚韧,任你东西南北风。红颜,看我如何破西风…!
  • 多爱

    多爱

    从一个什么都不懂的小女生,因为生活和环境的压力,所以不得不为了适应城市的节奏而成熟,锐变
  • 三界神隐者

    三界神隐者

    跳出三界之外,不在五行之内。一身本领通天,谁知往日之辱。平淡如风,战意如龙!为了兄弟,家人,妹子,翱翔九天,寻找未知的机遇。身披战甲,手握龙枪,再一次面对前方未知的危险...(新人第一本书,咳咳,望大家多多支持,前面写的或许平淡了些,后面会越发精彩的)