登陆注册
15687400000119

第119章 CHAPTER XXIV(6)

I would rather see him working on the roadside than leading such a life--being such a one as you are. You have heard my mind now, Mr. Bellingham. You have humbled me--you have baited me; and if at last I have spoken out too harshly, and too much in a spirit of judgment, the fault is yours. If there were no other reason to prevent our marriage but the one fact that it would bring Leonard into contact with you, that would be enough." "It is enough!" said he, making her a low bow. "Neither you nor your child shall ever more be annoyed by me. I wish you a good evening." They walked apart--he back to. the inn, to set off instantly, while the blood was hot within him, from the place where he had been so mortified--she to steady herself along till she reached the little path, more like a rude staircase than anything else, by which she had to climb to the house. She did not turn round for some time after she was fairly lost to the sight of any one on the shore; she clambered on, almost stunned by the rapid beating of her heart. Her eyes were hot and dry; and at last became as if she were suddenly blind. Unable to go on, she tottered into the tangled underwood which grew among the stones, filling every niche and crevice, and little shelving space, with green and delicate tracery. She sank down behind a great overhanging rock, which hid her from any one coming up the path. An ash-tree was rooted in this rock, slanting away from the sea-breezes that were prevalent in most weathers; but this was a still, autumnal Sabbath evening. As Ruth's limbs fell, so they lay. She had no strength, no power of volition to move a finger. She could not think or remember. She was literally stunned. The first sharp sensation which roused her from her torpor was a quick desire to see him once more; up she sprang, and climbed to an out-jutting dizzy point of rock, but a little above her sheltered nook, yet commanding a wide view over the bare, naked sands;--far away below, touching the rippling water-line, was Stephen Bromley, busily gathering in his nets; besides him there was no living creature visible. Ruth shaded her eyes, as if she thought they might have deceived her; but no, there was no one there. She went slowly down to her old place, crying sadly as she went. "Oh! if I had not spoken so angrily to him--the last things I said were so bitter--so reproachful!--and I shall never, never see him again!" She could not take in a general view and scope of their conversation--the event was too near her for that; but her heart felt sore at the echo of her last words, just and true as their severity was. Her struggle, her constant flowing tears, which fell from very weakness, made her experience a sensation of intense bodily fatigue; and her soul had lost the power of throwing itself forward, or contemplating anything beyond the dreary present, when the expanse of grey, wild, bleak moors, stretching wide away below a sunless sky, seemed only an outward sign of the waste world within her heart, for which she could claim no sympathy;-for she could not even define what its woes were; and, if she could, no one would understand how the present time was haunted by the terrible ghost of the former love. "I am so weary! I am so weary!" she moaned aloud at last. "I wonder if I might stop here, and just die away." She shut her eyes, until through the closed lids came a ruddy blaze of light. The clouds bad parted away, and the sun was going down in the crimson glory behind the distant purple hills. The whole western sky was one flame of fire. Ruth forgot herself in looking at the gorgeous sight. She sat up gazing; and, as she gazed, the tears dried on her cheeks, and, somehow, all human care and sorrow were swallowed up in the unconscious sense of God's infinity. The sunset calmed her more than any words, however wise and tender, could have done. It even seemed to give her strength and courage;she did not know how or why, but so it was. She rose, and went slowly towards home. Her limbs were very stiff, and every now and then she had to choke down an unbidden sob. Her pupils had been long returned from church, and had busied themselves in preparing tea--an occupation which had probably made them feel the time less long. If they had ever seen a sleep-walker, they might have likened Ruth to one for the next few days, so slow and measured did her movements seem--so far away was her intelligence from all that was passing around her--so hushed and strange were the tones of her voice. They had letters from home, announcing the triumphant return of Mr. Donne as M.P. for Eccleston. Mrs.

Denbigh heard the news without a word, and was too languid to join in the search after purple and yellow flowers with which to deck the sitting-room at Eagle's Crag. A letter from Jemima came the next day, summoning them home. Mr. Donne and his friends had left the place, and quiet was restored in the Bradshaw household; so it was time that Mary and Elizabeth's holiday should cease.

Mrs. Denbigh had also a letter--a letter from Miss Benson, saying that Leonard was not quite well. There was so much pains taken to disguise anxiety, that it was very evident much anxiety was felt; and the girls were almost alarmed by Ruth's sudden change from taciturn languor to eager, vehement energy. Body and mind seemed strained to exertion. Every plan that could facilitate packing and winding up affairs at Abermouth, every errand and arrangement that could expedite their departure by one minute, was done by Ruth with stern promptitude. She spared herself in nothing. She made them rest, made them lie down, while she herself lifted weights and transacted business with feverish power, never resting, and trying never to have time to think. For in remembrance of the Past there was Remorse--how had she forgotten Leonard these last few days!--how had she repined and been dull of heart to her blessing! And in anticipation of the future there was one sharp point of red light in the darkness which pierced her brain with agony, and which she would not see or recognise--and saw and recognised all the more for such mad determination--which is not the true shield against the bitterness of the arrows of death. When the seaside party arrived in Eccleston, they were met by Mrs. and Miss Bradshaw and Mr. Benson. By a firm resolution, Ruth kept from shaping the question, "Is he alive?" as if by giving shape to her fears she made their realisation more imminent. She said merely, "How is he?" but she said it with drawn, tight, bloodless lips, and in her eyes Mr. Benson read her anguish of anxiety. "He is very ill, but we hope he will soon be better. It is what every child has to go through."

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 腹黑竹马:青梅拐回家

    腹黑竹马:青梅拐回家

    一觉醒来,陌生的地方,身边莫名其妙多了个男人。莫名其妙的入住了他的家,占了他的床,他却对她百般宠溺。此后,夏唯初的任务就是每天被男神撩!他为她做饭,对她小心呵护……顺便把情侣之间该做的都做了!男神居然是竹马?!好吧,这样也挺好,那就骑回家好了!“顾其笙,你为什么要对我那么好!”“因为,我爱你很久,很久……”[世界上最美莫过于:我爱你,你也爱我]
  • 相思谋:妃常难娶

    相思谋:妃常难娶

    某日某王府张灯结彩,婚礼进行时,突然不知从哪冒出来一个小孩,对着新郎道:“爹爹,今天您的大婚之喜,娘亲让我来还一样东西。”说完提着手中的玉佩在新郎面前晃悠。此话一出,一府宾客哗然,然当大家看清这小孩与新郎如一个模子刻出来的面容时,顿时石化。此时某屋顶,一个绝色女子不耐烦的声音响起:“儿子,事情办完了我们走,别在那磨矶,耽误时间。”新郎一看屋顶上的女子,当下怒火攻心,扔下新娘就往女子所在的方向扑去,吼道:“女人,你给本王站住。”一场爱与被爱的追逐正式开始、、、、、、、
  • 南拥夏栀北梦冬笙

    南拥夏栀北梦冬笙

    越是想忘记,越是会记起越是想放下,越是舍不得她是南夏栀,却不是他的栀栀他是北冬笙,却不是她的阿笙
  • EXO少年回忆初恋

    EXO少年回忆初恋

    一向不追星的慕颜在机场碰到了EXO,但不知一段美好而又凄惨的爱情故事,这是一段怎样的爱情呢?
  • 时光无罪,相遇才对

    时光无罪,相遇才对

    雨,落在身上,冰冷彻骨。血,淌在身外,又如何?我若还活着,就是死也要爬回你身边。错乱的缘,是谁绕乱了红线,嘴角扬起一抹笑,那个男人,好狠!
  • EXO之爱的代价

    EXO之爱的代价

    曾经,你向我许诺的诺言,让我觉得那样美好暖心;现在,却成了你们伤害我的武器。如果爱你们需要付出代价,那么我愿意,即便是生命,我也在所不惜,只为爱你一次。
  • 喜欢钢琴的女孩

    喜欢钢琴的女孩

    【本书整改,重新更新】总有一个人,不经意地闯入你的生活,像是一条贯穿全文的线索,在你看得见亦或者看不见的地方,走过你生命的全程。韩晓唯一度以为自己要活在一张规划好的Excel表格里。从吃饭喝水睡觉,至小学初中高中大学,恋爱的对象,结婚的对象,以后行走的每一步,都要框在一个架子内,狭小而无法呼吸。直至有一个人跌跌撞撞地闯进来,宛如一颗坠落的行星,扰乱了一切的计划,使她脱离了原本的轨道。你相信这个世界上有被固定好的命运吗?活在一个不允许挣扎和逆反、背叛与撒谎的世界中,窥看外面的人与事,光明与黑暗。她终将铭记,那个人在时间与记忆的潮浪中,旅途的兜兜转转中,将她从封闭的深渊中拉出,去观赏世界的瑰丽。
  • 命世奇侠

    命世奇侠

    天之将乱,非命世之才不足以安也!少年仰慕名士风骨,行事方式出人意表。出身贫寒,却想吟风弄月,寄情山水;资质奇差,却做着一代武林宗师的春秋大梦。时而像个好色无赖,时而又成了正人君子。是天生二货?还是大智若愚?偏偏是这么一个人,在乱世中,总是能以自己的方式化解一次又一次危机,武功境界越来越高,一个惊天秘密似乎也伸手可及……
  • 刀尖舞者

    刀尖舞者

    他是一个大学生,成绩优异,正享受着青涩的爱情,是什么让他选择离开,走进白天一身汗、雨天一身泥的绿色军营?他有着青春期的叛逆,有股桀骜不驯的锐气,制度的约束,严明的纪律,是什么让他实现了转变?半夜偷吃馒头、醉酒夜宿仓库、救助战友不遗余力……他的故事,能带给你不一样的军旅体验。
  • 神医嫡妃,邪帝追妻好幸苦

    神医嫡妃,邪帝追妻好幸苦

    “你能不能不恶心我!?”某女用一种嫌弃的目光看着某男“你嫁给我我就不恶心你!”某男用期待的目光看着某女“算了,你还是继续恶心我吧!”某女受不了了“…”某男无语………