Rowland had found the two ladies alone at the villa, and he had sat with them for an hour.He felt absolutely hushed by the solemn splendor of the scene, but he had risked the remark that, whatever life might yet have in store for either of them, this was a night that they would never forget.
"It 's a night to remember on one's death-bed!" Miss Garland exclaimed.
"Oh, Mary, how can you!" murmured Mrs.Hudson, to whom this savored of profanity, and to whose shrinking sense, indeed, the accumulated loveliness of the night seemed to have something shameless and defiant.
They were silent after this, for some time, but at last Rowland addressed certain idle words to Miss Garland.She made no reply, and he turned to look at her.She was sitting motionless, with her head pressed to Mrs.Hudson's shoulder, and the latter lady was gazing at him through the silvered dusk with a look which gave a sort of spectral solemnity to the sad, weak meaning of her eyes.
She had the air, for the moment, of a little old malevolent fairy.
Miss Garland, Rowland perceived in an instant, was not absolutely motionless; a tremor passed through her figure.
She was weeping, or on the point of weeping, and she could not trust herself to speak.Rowland left his place and wandered to another part of the garden, wondering at the motive of her sudden tears.
Of women's sobs in general he had a sovereign dread, but these, somehow, gave him a certain pleasure.When he returned to his place Miss Garland had raised her head and banished her tears.
She came away from Mrs.Hudson, and they stood for a short time leaning against the parapet.
"It seems to you very strange, I suppose," said Rowland, "that there should be any trouble in such a world as this.""I used to think," she answered, "that if any trouble came to me I would bear it like a stoic.But that was at home, where things don't speak to us of enjoyment as they do here.
Here it is such a mixture; one does n't know what to choose, what to believe.Beauty stands there--beauty such as this night and this place, and all this sad, strange summer, have been so full of--and it penetrates to one's soul and lodges there, and keeps saying that man was not made to suffer, but to enjoy.
This place has undermined my stoicism, but--shall I tell you?
I feel as if I were saying something sinful--I love it!""If it is sinful, I absolve you," said Rowland, "in so far as I have power.
We are made, I suppose, both to suffer and to enjoy.As you say, it 's a mixture.Just now and here, it seems a peculiarly strange one.
But we must take things in turn."
His words had a singular aptness, for he had hardly uttered them when Roderick came out from the house, evidently in his darkest mood.
He stood for a moment gazing hard at the view.
"It 's a very beautiful night, my son," said his mother, going to him timidly, and touching his arm.
He passed his hand through his hair and let it stay there, clasping his thick locks."Beautiful?" he cried;"of course it 's beautiful! Everything is beautiful;everything is insolent, defiant, atrocious with beauty.
Nothing is ugly but me--me and my poor dead brain!""Oh, my dearest son," pleaded poor Mrs.Hudson, "don't you feel any better?"Roderick made no immediate answer; but at last he spoke in a different voice.
"I came expressly to tell you that you need n't trouble yourselves any longer to wait for something to turn up.Nothing will turn up! It 's all over!
I said when I came here I would give it a chance.I have given it a chance.
Have n't I, eh? Have n't I, Rowland? It 's no use; the thing 's a failure!
Do with me now what you please.I recommend you to set me up there at the end of the garden and shoot me.""I feel strongly inclined," said Rowland gravely, "to go and get my revolver.""Oh, mercy on us, what language!" cried Mrs.Hudson.
"Why not?" Roderick went on."This would be a lovely night for it, and I should be a lucky fellow to be buried in this garden.
But bury me alive, if you prefer.Take me back to Northampton.""Roderick, will you really come?" cried his mother.
