It was Noah who spoke.
"I'm glad,"he said,"that when I embarked at the time of the heavy rains that did so much damage in the old days,there weren't any dogs like that fellow Cerberus about.If I'd had to feed a lot of three-headed beasts like him the Ark would have run short of provisions inside of ten days.""That's very likely true,"observed Mr.Barnum;"but I must confess,my dear Noah,that you showed a lamentable lack of the showman's instinct when you selected the animals you did.A more commonplace lot of beasts were never gathered together,and while Adam is held responsible for the introduction of sin into the world,I attribute most of my offences to none other than yourself."The members of the club drew their chairs a little closer.The conversation had opened a trifle spicily,and,furthermore,they had retained enough of their mortality to be interested in animal stories.Adam,who had managed to settle his back dues and delinquent house-charges,and once more acquired the privileges of the club,nodded his head gratefully at Mr.Barnum.
"I'm glad to find some one,"said he,"who places the responsibility for trouble where it belongs.I'm round-shouldered with the blame I've had to bear.I didn't invent sin any more than I invented the telephone,and I think it's rather rough on a fellow who lived a quiet,retiring,pastoral life,minding his own business and staying home nights,to be held up to public reprobation for as long a time as I have.""It'll be all right in time,"said Raleigh;"just wait--be patient,and your vindication will come.Nobody thought much of the plays Bacon and I wrote for Shakespeare until Shakespeare 'd been dead a century.""Humph!"said Adam,gloomily."Wait!What have I been doing all this time?I've waited all the time there's been so far,and until Mr.Barnum spoke as he did I haven't observed the slightest inclination on the part of anybody to rehabilitate my lost reputation.Nor do I see exactly how it's to come about even if I do wait.""You might apply for an investigating committee to look into the charges,"suggested an American politician,just over."Get your friends on it,and you'll be all right.""Better let sleeping dogs lie,"said Blackstone.
"I intend to,"said Adam."The fact is,I hate to give any further publicity to the matter.Even if I did bring the case into court and sue for libel,I've only got one witness to prove my innocence,and that's my wife.I'm not going to drag her into it.She's got nervous prostration over her position as it is,and this would make it worse.Queen Elizabeth and the rest of these snobs in society won't invite her to any of their functions because they say she hadn't any grandfather;and even if she were received by them,she'd be uncomfortable going about.It isn't pleasant for a woman to feel that every one knows she's the oldest woman in the room.""Well,take my word for it,"said Raleigh,kindly."It'll all come out all right.You know the old saying,'History repeats itself.'
Some day you will be living back in Eden again,and if you are only careful to make an exact record of all you do,and have a notary present,before whom you can make an affidavit as to the facts,you will be able to demonstrate your innocence.""I was only condemned on hearsay evidence,anyhow,"said Adam,ruefully.
"Nonsense;you were caught red-handed,"said Noah;"my grandfather told me so.And now that I've got a chance to slip in a word edgewise,I'd like mightily to have you explain your statement,Mr.
Barnum,that I am responsible for your errors.That is a serious charge to bring against a man of my reputation.""I mean simply this:that to make a show interesting,"said Mr.
Barnum,"a man has got to provide interesting materials,that's all.
I do not mean to say a word that is in any way derogatory to your morality.You were a surprisingly good man for a sea-captain,and with the exception of that one occasion when you--ah--you allowed yourself to be stranded on the bar,if I may so put it,I know of nothing to be said against you as a moral,temperate person.""That was only an accident,"said Noah,reddening."You can't expect a man six hundred odd years of age--""Certainly not,"said Raleigh,soothingly,"and nobody thinks less of you for it.Considering how you must have hated the sight of water,the wonder of it is that it didn't become a fixed habit.Let us hear what it is that Mr.Barnum does criticise in you.""His taste,that's all,"said Mr.Barnum."I contend that,compared to the animals he might have had,the ones he did have were as ant-hills to Alps.There were more magnificent zoos allowed to die out through Noah's lack of judgment than one likes to think of.Take the Proterosaurus,for instance.Where on earth do we find his equal to-day?"
"You ought to be mighty glad you can't find one like him,"put in Adam."If you'd spent a week in the Garden of Eden with me,with lizards eight feet long dropping out of the trees on to your lap while you were trying to take a Sunday-afternoon nap,you'd be willing to dispense with things of that sort for the balance of your natural life.If you want to get an idea of that experience let somebody drop a calf on you some afternoon.""I am not saying anything about that,"returned Barnum."It would be unpleasant to have an elephant drop on one after the fashion of which you speak,but I am glad the elephant was saved just the same.Ihaven't advocated the Proterosaurus as a Sunday-afternoon surprise,but as an attraction for a show.I still maintain that a lizard as big as a cow would prove a lodestone,the drawing powers of which the pocket-money of the small boy would be utterly unable to resist.
Then there was the Iguanadon.He'd have brought a fortune to the box-office--""Which you'd have immediately lost,"retorted Noah,"paying rent.
