登陆注册
15528800000087

第87章 The Dangers of Despair.(1)

Discouragement and despair are dangerous and often destructive to character.This would be especially true of one like Ida Mayhew;for even in her imperfection she possessed a simplicity and unity which made it impossible for a part of such moral nature as she possessed to stand,if another part were undermined or broken down.

The whole fabric would stand or fall together.

She had been a wayward child,more neglected than petted,and had naturally developed a passion for having her own will,right or wrong.As she grew older,her extraordinary dower of beauty threatened to be a fatal one.It brought her attention continuous admiration and flattery from those who cared nothing for her personally.She had received in childhood but little of the praise which love prompts,the tender,indulgent idolatry which,although dangerous indeed to one's best development,sometimes softens and humanizes,instead of rendering selfish and arrogant.

Mrs.Mayhew petted and scolded her child according to her mood,but was quite consistent in her general neglect.Mr.Mayhew was a tired,busy man,who visited at his own home rather than lived there.Thus the growing girl was left chiefly to her own impulses,and average human nature ensured that the habit of thinking of herself first and of pleasing herself at all times should be early formed.Then,as she saw and became capable of understanding the homage that waits on mere beauty,the world over,pride and vanity grew in overshadowing rankness.The attention she received,however,was chiefly made up of the bold stare of strangers,and the open flattery of those who admired her beauty as they would that of a picture,unconsciously but correctly leaving the impression that they cared for her only because of her beauty.That the girl's nature should grow hard and callous under such influences was what might have been expected.

Neglect and a miserable sham of an education had dwarfed her mind.

She had been "finished"by an ultra fashionable school before she understood the meaning of the studies which she passed over in a dainty quickstep,scarcely touching the surface.

Her heart and moral nature were almost equally undeveloped.Hitherto she had known but little experience tending to evoke gentle feeling or generous action.She had confounded the few genuine admirers,who,infatuated with her beauty,endowed her with all heavenly graces,awaiting only the awakening hand of their love,with the heartless or brainless fellows who were not particular about heavenly graces,provided a girl had a fine figure and a fair face.

When the artist first met her at the concert garden,she was in truth a modern Undine.She had feminine qualities and vices,but not a woman's soul.She was not capable of any strong,womanly action or feeling.Her scheme of life was simple indeed,although she was learning to be very artful in carrying it out.It was to have "a good time,"as she would phrase it,and at any and every cost to others.After wearying of the life of a belle,she proposed to marry the best establishment that came her way,and became a leader of fashion.

It would seem that not a few fine ladies carry out this simple scheme of life,and never receive a woman's soul.There are Undines at sixty as well as at sixteen.

The artist had been attracted by her beauty,like so many others,but unlike others he had not (as was the case with not a few sensible men)given an admiring glance at the face,and then,recognizing the fact that there was not a woman back of it,passed on indifferently;nor had he bestowed upon her imaginary virtues;and much less had he been satisfied with more flesh and blood.

His manner had been exploring,questioning.He was looking for her woman's soul,even though he might find it unawakened,like the fabled beauty in the mythical castle.

His keen eyes had disturbed her equanimity from the first.As he pursued his quest,her undefined fears and misgivings increased.

At last she was compelled to follow his questioning glances,and look past outward beauty to her real self within.From that hour the rank and evil weeds of pride and vanity began to wither.Honest self-scrutiny was like a knife at their roots.

But these traits give a transient support like a false stimulant.

As they failed there was nothing to take their place--no faith in God,no self-respect or self-reliance.She could not turn to her own family for sustaining sympathy,such as many fin din their homes,and which is all the more grateful because not inquisitive nor expressed in formal terms.In her selfish pleasure-seeking life she found that she had made an endless number of acquaintances,but no friends.She had not even the resources of a cultivated mind that could exist upon its own stores through this sudden famine which had impoverished her world,nor could she think of a single innocent,attractive,pursuit by which she could fill the weary days.She was like a child that had dwelt in a tropical oasis,the flowers and fruits of which had seemed as limitless as its extent.

She had supposed that the whole world would be like this oasis,and the only necessity ever imposed on her would be that of choice from its rich profusion.But ere she was aware she had lost herself in a desert;the oasis had vanished like a mirage,and she had no choice at all.That which her heart craved with an intensity which fairly made it ache,seemed as hopeless as a sudden bloom and fruitage from arid sands.

同类推荐
  • 录鬼簿

    录鬼簿

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 金有陀罗尼经

    金有陀罗尼经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 高上玉皇本行集经

    高上玉皇本行集经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 信力入印法门经

    信力入印法门经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • The Two Captains

    The Two Captains

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • TF易安:我的心只属于你

    TF易安:我的心只属于你

    我爱你,以任何形式,任何理由。我想你,以任何地点,任何时间。
  • 女将军现代生活录

    女将军现代生活录

    一代女将重生为农村孤女,韩佳下定决心,要努力把前世没谈的恋爱补上,要做一个有理想、有抱负,有志气的人。什么?被定了亲?寡妇婆婆不喜欢?未婚夫心属青梅?还带着克夫克子命?这活脱脱是一个苦命小媳妇儿的命哟,肿么破?
  • 作死青年

    作死青年

    坏人不能做主角,为什么?因为世界上坏人是不可能战胜好人的。你怎么知道的?因为电视上是这样播放的,还有书上也是这样写着的,像那些劫匪,杀人犯什么的不都没有好下场吗?哦,原来你是在电视上看的,我还以为你真实见过呢!那你说坏人可以当主角吗?比如电视剧里,比如小说里!别逗了!你他麻脑袋秀逗了?你想要干什么?我要写一本坏人当主角的故事,塑造一个很变态,很恶心的坏蛋故事!(以上对话发生在作者与他基友之间,还有,本书纯属虚构!纯属虚构!纯属虚构,重要的事情说三遍)。
  • 超级投手

    超级投手

    我是金融操盘手,我继承了祖上无敌图谱,成为超级投手。我很郁闷,祖上人物为争夺《林家图谱》,立下百年赌约,而我就是赌局中的主角。我不差钱,只为搜齐《林家图谱》,重振祖上辉煌。我很幸福,有无数美女扑面而来,妖艳而主动,形色各异。本书职场、商战、都市、异能乱入一流,这是烩菜,味道不错!
  • 白磷戒指

    白磷戒指

    一个暗恋已久的女孩,却做了别人的女朋友,这....这是为什么。我寻了短见,快要死的那一刻,我想起来了父母,我的朋友,我舍不得他们。但是已近晚了,一辆大卡车砰的一下撞在了我的身上。到医院的时候我已经没了呼吸,可是我竟然活了,而且获得了许多未知的记忆,一个军魂的记忆。。。。。。
  • 柚子狠萌狠天真

    柚子狠萌狠天真

    论“萌”能萌到哪种程度:一个“柚子”能萌到哪种程度?过分甜?no——是萌到出水的那种!一个妹子能萌到哪种程度?撒撒娇卖卖萌?no——是萌到自己都不知道自己在潜意识里卖萌!一个叶伊柚能萌到哪种程度?萌到上天入地无所不能?no——这哪能用程度来形容!她一个妹纸,不仅长相可爱性格娇俏,而且还命犯桃花?!这一个个帅的出神入化的美男是从哪来的?难道她犯的还是一朵朵金花?妹纸,我只想告诉你:你真相了,不仅是金花,而且还是blingbling的钻石花!
  • 纨绔总裁的丑秘书

    纨绔总裁的丑秘书

    貌不惊人的王曦儿,一次次相遇风流倜傥的张闽澜,最后没想到竟然成为新贵张闽澜的秘书,夜晚一次偶然,张闽澜撞见正在换衣服的曦儿,这次偶然,彻底改变了张闽澜和曦儿的关系。身材丰满,个头不高,一双丹凤眼,翘着小鼻头,王曦儿真是没有一点出奇的地方,在万花丛中,扑碟的高手张闽澜,从来没有多看一眼曦儿,就如她是空气。
  • 双子公主vsTF王子:玄灵世爱

    双子公主vsTF王子:玄灵世爱

    遇见你是一种缘分。你是我的最大挑战,从未想过会喜欢上你,但我发现,我已经喜欢你无法自拔了。或许这就是一见钟情吧!
  • 宠物小精灵之凌尊者

    宠物小精灵之凌尊者

    身负血海深仇,穿越宠物小精灵世界,受创世神所托,集众神之力,寻神之精元!战尊者,屠神兽,重现创世繁华
  • 爱与疼的极限

    爱与疼的极限

    离开豪斯特城三年,茉莉觉得一切都变了,父母生死未卜,国王举止怪异,仆人横眉冷对,她到底做错了什么。