She did not deny me this favour; but I was rather offended at her evident desire to be rid of me, and was beginning to repent of my pertinacity, when she somewhat appeased me by consulting my taste and judgment about some doubtful matter in her drawing. My opinion, happily, met her approbation, and the improvement I suggested was adopted without hesitation.
`I have often wished in vain,' said she, `for another's judgment to appeal to when I could scarcely trust the direction of my own eye and head, they having been so long occupied with the contemplation of a single object, as to become almost incapable of forming a proper idea respecting it.'
`That,' replied I, `is only one of many evils to which a solitary life exposes us.'
`True,' said she; and again we relapsed into silence.
About two minutes after, however, she declared her sketch completed and closed the book.
On returning to the scene of our repast, we found all the company had deserted it, with the exception of three--Mary Mill ward, Richard Wilson, and Arthur Graham. The younger gentleman lay fast asleep with his head pillowed on the lady's lap; the other was seated beside her with a pocket edition of some classic author in his hand. He never went anywhere without such a companion wherewith to improve his leisure moments: all time seemed lost that was not devoted to study, or exacted, by his physical nature, for the bare support of life. Even now, he could not abandon himself to the enjoyment of that pure air and balmy sunshine--that splendid prospect, and those soothing sounds, the music of the waves and of the soft wind in the sheltering trees above him--not even with a lady by his side (though not a very charming one, I will allow)--he must pull out his book, and make the most of his time while digesting his temperate meal, and re posing his weary limbs, unused to so much exercise.
Perhaps, however, he spared a moment to exchange a word or a glance with his companion now and then--at any rate, she did not appear at all resentful of his conduct; for her homely features wore an expression of unusual cheerfulness and serenity, and she was studying his pale, thoughtful face with great complacency when we arrived.
The journey homeward was by no means so agreeable, to me, as the former part of the day; for now Mrs Graham was in the carriage, and Eliza Millward was the companion of my walk. She had observed my preference for the young widow, and evidently felt herself neglected. She did not manifest her chagrin by keen reproaches, bitter sarcasms, or pouting, sullen silence--any or all of these I could easily have endured, or lightly laughed away; but she showed it by a kind of gentle melancholy, a mild, reproachful sadness that cut me to the heart. I tried to cheer her up, and apparently succeeded in some degree, before the walk was over; but in the very act my conscience reproved me, knowing, as I did, that sooner or later, the tie must be broken, and this was only nourishing false hopes, and putting off the evil day.
When the pony-carriage had approached as near Wildfell Hall as the road would permit--unless, indeed, it proceeded up the long rough lane, which Mrs Graham would not allow--the young widow and her son alighted, relinquishing the driver's seat to Rose; and I persuaded Eliza to take the latter's place. Having put her comfortably in, bid her take care of the evening air, and wished her a kind goodnight, I felt considerably relieved, and hastened to offer my services to Mrs Graham to carry her apparatus up the fields, but she had already hung her camp-stool on her arm and taken her sketchbook in her hand; and insisted upon bidding me adieu then and there, with the rest of the company. But this time, she declined my proffered aid in so kind and friendly a manner, that I almost forgave her.
