登陆注册
15489700000004

第4章 CHAPTER THE THIRD THE WIMBLEHURST APPRENTICESHIP(4

I remember him now as talking, always talking, in those days. He talked to me of theology, he talked of politics, of the wonders of science and the marvels of art, of the passions and the affections, of the immortality of the soul and the peculiar actions of drugs; but predominantly and constantly he talked of getting on, of enterprises, of inventions and great fortunes, of Rothschilds, silver kings, Vanderbilts, Goulds, flotations, realisations and the marvelous ways of Chance with men--in all localities, that is to say, that are not absolutely sunken to the level of Cold Mutton Fat.

When I think of those early talks, I figure him always in one of three positions. Either we were in the dispensing lair behind a high barrier, he pounding up things in a mortar perhaps, and I rolling pill-stuff into long rolls and cutting it up with a sort of broad, fluted knife, or he stood looking out of the shop door against the case of sponges and spray-diffusers, while I surveyed him from behind the counter, or he leant against the little drawers behind the counter, and I hovered dusting in front. The thought of those early days brings back to my nostrils the faint smell of scent that was always in the air, marbled now with streaks of this drug and now of that, and to my eyes the rows of jejune glass bottles with gold labels, mirror-reflected, that stood behind him. My aunt, I remember, used sometimes to come into the shop in a state of aggressive sprightliness, a sort of connubial ragging expedition, and get much fun over the abbreviated Latinity of those gilt inscriptions. "Ol Amjig, George," she would read derisively, "and he pretends it's almond oil! Snap!--and that's mustard. Did you ever, George?

"Look at him, George, looking dignified. I'd like to put an old label on to him round the middle like his bottles are, with Ol Pondo on it. That's Latin for Impostor, George MUST be. He'd look lovely with a stopper."

"YOU want a stopper," said my uncle, projecting his face....

My aunt, dear soul, was in those days quite thin and slender, with a delicate rosebud completion and a disposition to connubial badinage, to a sort of gentle skylarking. There was a silvery ghost of lisping in her speech. She was a great humourist, and as the constraint of my presence at meals wore off, I became more and more aware of a filmy but extensive net of nonsense she had woven about her domestic relations until it had become the reality of her life. She affected a derisive attitude to the world at large and applied the epithet "old" to more things than I have ever heard linked to it before or since. "Here's the old news-paper," she used to say--to my uncle. "Now don't go and get it in the butter, you silly old Sardine!"

"What's the day of the week, Susan?" my uncle would ask.

"Old Monday, Sossidge," she would say, and add, "I got all my Old Washing to do. Don't I KNOW it!"...

She had evidently been the wit and joy of a large circle of schoolfellows, and this style had become a second nature with her. It made her very delightful to me in that quiet place. Her customary walk even had a sort of hello! in it. Her chief preoccupation in life was, I believe, to make my uncle laugh, and when by some new nickname, some new quaintness or absurdity, she achieved that end, she was, behind a mask of sober amazement, the happiest woman on earth. My uncle's laugh when it did come, I must admit was, as Baedeker says, "rewarding." It began with gusty blowings and snortings, and opened into a clear "Ha ha!" but in fullest development it included, in those youthful days, falling about anyhow and doubling up tightly, and whackings of the stomach, and tears and cries of anguish. I never in my life heard my uncle laugh to his maximum except at her; he was commonly too much in earnest for that, and he didn't laugh much at all, to my knowledge, after those early years. Also she threw things at him to an enormous extent in her resolve to keep things lively in spite of Wimblehurst; sponges out of stock she threw, cushions, balls of paper, clean washing, bread; and once up the yard when they thought that I and the errand boy and the diminutive maid of all work were safely out of the way, she smashed a boxful of eight-ounce bottles I had left to drain, assaulting my uncle with a new soft broom. Sometimes she would shy things at me--but not often. There seemed always laughter round and about her--all three of us would share hysterics at times--and on one occasion the two of them came home from church shockingly ashamed of themselves, because of a storm of mirth during the sermon. The vicar, it seems, had tried to blow his nose with a black glove as well as the customary pocket-handkerchief. And afterwards she had picked up her own glove by the finger, and looking innocently but intently sideways, had suddenly by this simple expedient exploded my uncle altogether. We had it all over again at dinner.

"But it shows you," cried my uncle, suddenly becoming grave, "what Wimblehurst is, to have us all laughing at a little thing like that! We weren't the only ones that giggled. Not by any means! And, Lord! it was funny!"

Socially, my uncle and aunt were almost completely isolated. In places like Wimblehurst the tradesmen's lives always are isolated socially, all of them, unless they have a sister or a bosom friend among the other wives, but the husbands met in various bar-parlours or in the billiard-room of the Eastry Arms. But my uncle, for the most part, spent his evenings at home. When first he arrived in Wimblehurst I think he had spread his effect of abounding ideas and enterprise rather too aggressively; and Wimblehurst, after a temporary subjugation, had rebelled and done its best to make a butt of him. His appearance in a public-house led to a pause in any conversation that was going on.

"Come to tell us about everything, Mr. Pond'revo?" some one would say politely.

"You wait," my uncle used to answer, disconcerted, and sulk for the rest of his visit.

同类推荐
  • 香岩洗心水禅师语录

    香岩洗心水禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 肇论新疏游刃

    肇论新疏游刃

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 金匮钩玄

    金匮钩玄

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 尚书

    尚书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 黄华集

    黄华集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 丫头,你要乖乖的

    丫头,你要乖乖的

    “亲爱的~。”某男一脸妖媚的喊道。“不要叫我亲爱的,肉麻。”江雨薇装作恶心的样子拍拍胸口。“哦,好”。“丫头~。”再次喊道。“不要叫我丫头。”某女满脸无奈。“那好吧。”“亲爱的丫头。”某男不要脸的赖着。
  • 公主的相公

    公主的相公

    因为从小父母离异所以就养成了外冷内热的性格(其实也不算是冷啦,只是不知道怎么跟人沟通,我们的女主即文静有温柔还善解人意,只是有点路痴,气死只能算是左右不分),一朝穿越到不知名朝代的一个婴儿的身上,从此从四个月大的婴儿开始从头活起。
  • 海是孤岛流尽的泪

    海是孤岛流尽的泪

    一年前,赵默默在预赛失去发挥,无缘预赛。最后向乔然决然提出分手,消失一年。一年后,她考进城北体院本想过平静的生活,在寝室认识了三个室友,遇到一不小心闯入她的世界里是处处欺负她,嘲笑她的曲以南。本平静的生活因为沈凝和乔然的出现打破了,三人之间的纠缠连续到现在。五年前赵凡凡车祸丧失听力,成了赵默默一直解不开的心结,还有和乔然多年的感情,她挣扎着。曲以南欺负她,喜欢捉弄她,渐渐地,两人的一颗心走在一起。赵默默想也想不到,在接纳曲以南的感情之前,很多事情发生了,来的突如其来,再次把他们分开。海,是岛流尽的泪水。孤独的岛,漂浮在大海,它还会一辈子与大海拥抱着吗?
  • 异灾星空

    异灾星空

    他是来自外太空的外星人,他是高高在上的皇子,他是医生,他也是明星……他还是全宇宙战斗力第一的人。但一场异样的灾难降临在他的国家,为了家人,为了百姓,为了祖国,身负重伤的他来临地球,寻找解决异灾的办法……
  • 炮灰逆袭手册

    炮灰逆袭手册

    拳打狠辣霸气的穿越特工。脚踢只求大道的心机重生女。勾搭洞悉先机的软萌宅妹。作为全息网游大BOSS的徐娇娥阴阴一笑,姐是大姐大,谁来炮灰都不怕!至于散发致命费洛蒙,勾搭无数女修的柴废男马种。还是留给你们好好享受吧!PS:这就是一个走狗屎运逃出精神病院的女人和各类高富帅白富美们不得不说的撕逼故事。亲们走过路过,票票和收藏千万别放过☆:*??(●′?‘●)?ェ:*??☆
  • 五族传说

    五族传说

    盘古人开天辟地女娲造人,潜伏在人类身上的女娲神力孕育了魔物的诞生,盘古一族为了人类的安全把神兽放到人界保护人类,而神兽喜欢远离人类只能偶尔进行保护,为了人类能保护自己而教导人类法术,没想到的是当时最强的人反感盘古人对人类的干预进行弑神,一场大战即将爆发,妖魔僵尸等魔物趁人类主力离开而进攻人界,面对妖族魔族僵尸的入侵人类进行反抗,一代代强大的驱魔师在战乱中崛起
  • 吟天序

    吟天序

    朝闻道,道可道;非闻道,可诏道;下垣道,清渲道;厉诡道,仳疏道。未到不道,不道自到。到可醒云兴,否极幻元仙;唯有朝风露,快饮谢自然。文风枇匹而心化自缘,勤思路见,拨光迎道。
  • 九转神决

    九转神决

    重生一世,记忆封印!神秘的强者,魔兽共存的大陆!
  • 公主驾到妖王接招

    公主驾到妖王接招

    她是二十一世纪的天才特工,却没想到自己会死于癌症。带着不甘心和强烈的求生欲望再次睁开眼睛的时候确实在异世大陆。穿越了就算了,还是在一个废物身上,这是大大的耻辱啊!等等,谁说她是废物了,废物会在一夜之内连升两级?废物会打的第一天才满地找牙?废物会有一个神兽做宠物?某人邪笑:“我就知道你是与众不同的。”
  • 王俊凯等你爱上我

    王俊凯等你爱上我

    看逗比女孩林若曦狂追王俊凯,看王源如何对萝莉女孩安槿诺,槿诺、萱雨感情何去何从,千玺的守护。属于他的另一半在哪?