登陆注册
15484500000347

第347章 Chapter LXXIII.

As I never had any intention of beginning the Digression, I am making all this preparation for, till I come to the 74th chapter--I have this chapter to put to whatever use I think proper--I have twenty this moment ready for it--I could write my chapter of Button-holes in it--Or my chapter of Pishes, which should follow them--Or my chapter of Knots, in case their reverences have done with them--they might lead me into mischief: the safest way is to follow the track of the learned, and raise objections against what I have been writing, tho' Ideclare before-hand, I know no more than my heels how to answer them.

And first, it may be said, there is a pelting kind of thersitical satire, as black as the very ink 'tis wrote with--(and by the bye, whoever says so, is indebted to the muster-master general of the Grecian army, for suffering the name of so ugly and foul-mouth'd a man as Thersites to continue upon his roll--for it has furnish'd him with an epithet)--in these productions he will urge, all the personal washings and scrubbings upon earth do a sinking genius no sort of good--but just the contrary, inasmuch as the dirtier the fellow is, the better generally he succeeds in it.

To this, I have no other answer--at least ready--but that the Archbishop of Benevento wrote his nasty Romance of the Galatea, as all the world knows, in a purple coat, waistcoat, and purple pair of breeches; and that the penance set him of writing a commentary upon the book of the Revelations, as severe as it was look'd upon by one part of the world, was far from being deem'd so, by the other, upon the single account of that Investment.

Another objection, to all this remedy, is its want of universality;forasmuch as the shaving part of it, upon which so much stress is laid, by an unalterable law of nature excludes one half of the species entirely from its use: all I can say is, that female writers, whether of England, or of France, must e'en go without it--As for the Spanish ladies--I am in no sort of distress--

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 饮罪者

    饮罪者

    一桩发生在公共广场的无差别杀人案,简单明晰的作案过程背后,却是迷雾重重的作案动机。一个看似是随机报复社会的杀人犯,一个要写一个大新闻的记者,一个想找出真相的警察,一个被欺负的少年。这桩杀人案让他们的命运编织到了一起。四散的线索渐渐聚拢,十年前的尘案再度被翻开,被卷入到跨越十年的案中案里,他们各有各的执念……生死之交的友情分崩离析,彼此相爱的爱人却形同陌路,一切的一切都被颠覆,真正的秘密从此消失……罪恶,到底有没有原因?这世上到底有没有真相?所有可见的是否都被伪装?
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 桃花树下,那曾经的约定

    桃花树下,那曾经的约定

    一位十三岁的绝色少女,深情的望着那棵桃树,忽然她哭了。一位也同样拥有着绝色容颜的少年,走到她面前说“女孩儿不可以常哭的,不然会不漂亮的。”少女说“但是我明天要走了,我去英国了,我很怀念这个桃树。”少年说“英国也有桃树呀。”少女说“不,这棵桃树陪伴了太多年了,我舍不得它。”少年说“那我以后我来帮你照顾这棵桃树。”“好!”让你露出欣慰的笑容,那笑容,对少年来说是多么的漂亮,犹如昙花一现,便倾国倾城。“那么,我会等你回来的。”少年说。“嗯,这是我们两个的约定。”少女调皮的笑了笑“我的温柔只对你一个人。”“我也是!“他们许下了约定。少女在少年的嘴唇上蜻蜓点水般的亲了一下,便没有遗憾的离开那个约定的地方
  • 重生之药女俏农妻

    重生之药女俏农妻

    爹爹病卧在床,二叔二婶以娘亲抚养她和哥哥太过吃力竟为了十两银子将她卖于人做小,娘亲大哥震怒不已,争吵推攘之间让瘦小的苏半曦迎来了一个全新的灵魂。一改懦弱胆小之风,言辞犀利堵得二叔二婶哑口无言,面红耳赤,悻悻溜走;纤纤玉手化腐朽为传奇,一身医术出神入化能令白骨生肉,断骨衔接,汤药养颜润肤受人追捧推崇。接断骨,治不孕,种草药,熬食粥,驱瘟疫;建医馆,开药坊,做药膳,行医善,立万名。唇红齿白,肌肤玉嫩,杏眼水灵,鹅蛋圆脸这是苏家小女苏半曦,巧手纤纤救人于水火之中,性子清冷不善言辞却总爱戳人痛处,偶尔出口语言惊人,这样的她招惹来了一只呆萌傻傻的腹黑小狼崽子,赶不走骂不走吓不走,比牛皮糖还要黏人的存在。精彩片段:某只小狼崽子衣衫凌乱,嘴唇带血,眼角淤青兴冲冲地扑到苏半曦面前:“曦曦曦曦,今天我和村头林娃他们打架,我第一次打赢了诶!”苏半曦挑眉:“下药了?”兴奋的小狼崽子立马被泼了一盆冷水,恹恹点了点头。“下了多少?”下泻药还被人揍成这样。小狼崽子扭扭身体,颤巍巍伸出一根手指,缩了缩脖子道:“一包。”声音已经快要哭出来了。苏半曦敛眸一笑,摸了摸小狼崽子的头,笑容温柔清淡,“下次下两包吧,死不了人的。”既然小狼崽子是她家的,那么谁也不能欺负【曦曦是十分护短的】本文男女双处,互宠1v1,感情细水长流!简介只是参考,具体请看正文!注:本文关于药膳食粥均来自百度书籍资料,若有不符之处夸张之处还望考据党一笑了之。
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 拐你一辈子

    拐你一辈子

    如果有一个人,能让你不再胆怯的奔跑,你是否有勇气,在爱情的路上勇往直前?
  • 画娘子

    画娘子

    她是临摹世家的唯一传承者,拥有绝佳临摹的天赋,引起了各方势力的忌伺,在被追杀与争夺下,每一步都走得小心翼翼,不断逃亡与隐藏。冥冥中却遇上了他,诡计多端,狡猾奸诈,无利不往的商人。究竟是倒霉还是异性相吸?“怎么又是你?我都打扮成乞丐这样子了,姑奶奶放过我吧。”“你最近缺德的事做多了吧?运势这么低。来人啊,此人乃赫兰家族大少爷,要杀要剐冲他来,不用客气。”“怎么不冲你去?”“因为你是男子汉大丈夫,男子汉就应该有所担当。”“担当?”“赫兰钥在此处!打!”“荀宓,我跟你没完!”
  • 寻生往死

    寻生往死

    寻生往死,要想寻得长生,就要在死地里寻找
  • 尊者杀伐:废材皇女要逆天

    尊者杀伐:废材皇女要逆天

    21世纪特工,一朝穿越成冷宫废弃的皇女,没娘爹不爱,任谁看了都想踩一脚。不受宠?她自己有万千仆从,个个都是顶尖儿的高手,她想宠谁就宠谁!地位不尊贵?整个大秦国的财富都掌握在她手中。什么皇帝皇兄皇姐皇弟皇妹?都给她滚一边儿去!特工准则:谁若惹了她,她就要谁死!
  • 校园KING

    校园KING

    学院里发生的纯爱、虐恋、悬疑故事集。由小故事组合而成,但由于作者喵的恶趣味。所以很大一部分均为偏耽美向的故事。感谢阅读:)