登陆注册
15468300000219

第219章 SEVEN 1965-1969 Justine(12)

Fritz answered the door, not clad in his smart navy chauffeur's uniform, clad in his smart butler's morning suit instead. But as he smiled, bowed stiffly and clicked his heels in good old-fashioned German manner, a thought occurred to Justine; did he do double duty in Bonn, too? "Are you simply Herr Hartheim's humble servant, Fritz, or are you really his watchdog?" she asked, handing him her coat. Fritz remained impassive. "Herr Hartheim is in his study, Miss O'neill." He was sitting looking at the fire, leaning a little forward, Natasha curled sleeping on the hearth. When the door opened he looked up, but didn't speak, didn't seem glad to see her.

So Justine crossed the room, knelt, and laid her forehead on his lap. "Rain, I'm so sorry for all the years, and I can't atone," she whispered. He didn't rise to his feet, draw her up with him; he knelt beside her on the floor.

"A miracle," he said.

She smiled at him. "You never did stop loving me, did you?" "No, Herzchen, never." "I must have hurt you very much." "Not in the way you think. I knew you loved me, and I could wait. I've always believed a patient man must win in the end."

"So you decided to let me work it out for myself. You weren't a bit worried when I announced I was going home to Drogheda, were you?" "Oh, yes. Had it been another man I would not have been perturbed, but Drogheda? A formidable opponent. Yes, I worried." "You knew I was going before I told you, didn't you?" "Clyde let the cat out of the bag. He rang Bonn to ask me if there was any way I could stop you, so I told him to play along with you for a week or two at any rate, and I'd see what I could do. Not for his sake, Herzchen. For my own. I'm no altruist." "That's what Mum said. But this house! Did you have it a month ago?" "No, nor is it mine. However, since we will need a London house if you're to continue with your career, I'd better see what I can do to acquire it. That is, provided you like it. I'll even let you have the redecorating of it, if you promise faithfully not to deck it out in pink and orange." "I've never realized quite how devious you are. Why didn't you just say you still loved me? I wanted you to!" "No. The evidence was there for you to see it for yourself, and you had to see if for yourself." "I'm afraid I'm chronically blind. I didn't really see for myself, I had to have some help. My mother finally forced me to open my eyes. I had a letter from her tonight, telling me not to come home." "She's a marvelous person, your mother." "I know you've met her, Rain-when?" "I went to see her about a year ago. Drogheda is magnificent, but it isn't you, Herzchen. At the time I went to try to make your mother see that. You've no idea how glad I am she has, though I don't think anything I said was very enlightening." She put her fingers up to touch his mouth. "I doubted myself, Rain. I always have. Maybe I always will."

"Oh, Herzchen, I hope not! For me there can never be anyone else. Only you. The whole world has known it for years. But words of love mean nothing. I could have screamed them at you a thousand times a day without affecting your doubts in the slightest. So I haven't spoken my love, Justine, I've lived it. How could you doubt the feelings of your most faithful gallant?" He sighed. "Well, at least it hasn't come from me. Perhaps you'll continue to find your mother's word good enough." "Please don't say it like that! Poor Rain, I think I've worn even your patience to a thread. Don't be hurt that it came from Mum. It doesn't matter! I've knelt in abasement at your feet!" "Thank God the abasement will only last for tonight," he said more cheerfully. "You'll bounce back tomorrow." The tension began to leave her; the worst of it was over. "What I like-no, love-about you the most is that you give me such a good run for my money I never do quite catch up." His shoulders shook. "Then look at the future this way, Herzchen. Living in the same house with me might afford you the opportunity to see how it can be done." He kissed her brows, her cheeks, her eyelids. "I would have you no other way than the way you are, Justine, Not a freckle of your face or a cell of your brain." She slid her arms around his neck, sank her fingers into that satisfying hair. "Oh, if you knew how I've longed to do this!" she said. "I've never been able to forget."

The cable said: HAVE JUST BECOME MRS RAWER MOERLING HARTHEIM STOP PRIVATE CEREMONY THE VATICAN STOP PAPAL BLESSINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE STOP THAT IS DEFINITELY BEING MARRIED EXCLAMATION WE WILL BE DOWN ON A DELAYED HONEYMOON AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BUT EUROPE IS GOING TO BE HOME STOP LOVE TO ALL AND FROM RAIN TOO STOP JUSTINE Meggie put the form down on the table and stared wide-eyed through the window at the wealth of autumn roses in the garden. Perfume of roses, bees of roses. And the hibiscus, the bottlebrush, the ghost gums, the bougainvillea up above the world so high, the pepper trees. How beautiful the garden was, how alive. To see its small things grow big, change, and wither; and new little things come again in the same endless, unceasing cycle. Time for Drogheda to stop. Yes, more than time. Let the cycle renew itself with unknown people. I did it all to myself, I have no one else to blame. And I cannot regret one single moment of it. The bird with the thorn in its breast, it follows an immutable law; it is driven by it knows not what to impale itself, and die singing. At the very instant the thorn enters there is no awareness in it of the dying to come; it simply sings and sings until there is not the life left to utter another note. But we, when we put the thorns in our breasts, we know. We understand. And still we do it. Still we do it.

同类推荐
  • 黄檗山寺志

    黄檗山寺志

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 甘泉先生续编大全

    甘泉先生续编大全

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 妇人集

    妇人集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 雚经

    雚经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • Loveand Friendship

    Loveand Friendship

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 身世迷离:南宫少爷追妻记

    身世迷离:南宫少爷追妻记

    (此坑已弃,请勿进入,对不起读者们)她,苏落雪,明明是21世纪的天才大小姐加无敌杀手,却是因为去执行一个任务而穿越了。他,南宫泽,是夜国人人尊敬的太子殿下,却是因为一颗毒丹与她相遇了。某女来到这个异世界还没多久就又被反穿越回去了。搞什么!?自己反穿越就算了,还带了一个超级大醋缸回去!看南宫少爷如何在现代世界中俘获苏大小姐的心?这个现代世界玄幻了?那看我苏大小姐如何称霸这个世界!灵兽一堆,嗯哼,收服!小三一堆,嗯哼,咔擦!
  • 随你千年:望帝金沙

    随你千年:望帝金沙

    古老的蜀国,神秘的金沙,流传千年的文化。美妙绝伦的太阳神鸟究竟有着怎样力量,瞩世腾飞的那一刻意味着什么?是什么让石人替代了残忍的活人祭,大祭司的背后有着怎样的阴谋?一个叫金丹的女孩偶然间穿越到2700多年前的部落,开始了匪夷所思的人生之旅。在历史的漩涡里金丹彰显着自认为平凡却在远古时代遥不可及的力量,见证了一个王朝的形成、兴盛直至篡位衰败。归来吧,是谁在睡梦里声声呼唤?我的妻,是谁在灵魂深处苦苦纠结?一段痴缠的感情贯穿一个伟大男人的一生,从少年的蒲卑到成年的杜宇再到年迈的望帝,金丹一次又一次徘徊在现代与古蜀之间,情归何处?
  • 环太平洋启示录

    环太平洋启示录

    仰望星空,我认为外星人,都从天上来,但我错了,巨兽来自——深海。2021年,洛杉矶:一切是那么美好,在巨兽袭击前。那年我23岁,我亲眼目睹了,第一只巨兽的袭击。“嘿,小伙,想什么呢?”“没什么,只是海啸什么的,怎么会突然来呢?”?“唉,你呀,就是杞人忧天!”嗡————海啸防御洞外:“该死!怎么堵车了!”“只是小海啸,没事。”“等等,那是战斗机吗?!”“哇,真是战斗机!”“妈妈,那是什么?”巨大的海浪拍击着大桥,从水里透出一个影子,一个——巨大的怪兽。
  • 以胖为美

    以胖为美

    李媛媛觉得自己终于变成了一个绝世美女,但没想到在时光荏苒,岁月变幻,沧海桑田之后这个世界的审美居然特么的变了……
  • EXO花开半夏第二部之初雪

    EXO花开半夏第二部之初雪

    在我第一次遇见你时,我发现我早已爱上了你(这是《花开半夏》的第二部)第一次写作品,不喜勿喷!
  • 霸气少爷的校花老婆

    霸气少爷的校花老婆

    一对失忆情侣却再次相聚,并不知对方身份却再次相恋。霸气少爷做连环梦,把校花欺负了,现实中又在继续欺负,但是接连出现的修炼者却让他忍无可忍:你们就那么喜欢打扰本少爷泡妞吗?
  • 捡了个儿子谈恋爱

    捡了个儿子谈恋爱

    一个28岁的事业有成的淡漠男人一个10岁的无家可归的小男孩却在不该相遇的地方遇见了从此开始了二人的“同居”生活是和是分精彩继续新建群:23058478
  • 旧书在雨楼

    旧书在雨楼

    ‘有来无回’门的第十二任鬼君来到佛门重地之一的‘凌烟寺’寻找上古奇书古卷,不料肆意杀戮,负责凌烟寺的抄书经的小沙弥明阳惊动之下,带着一捆佛门不传经书远走他乡,开始了他悟道的历程;路途中却是心志不坚,被鬼君的女仆从少落骗至‘有来无回’......
  • 一路天衍

    一路天衍

    泯灭不了内心的罪恶,放弃不了所做的选择,既然无法救赎,不妨从此沉沦,永生坠落。
  • 天武九霄

    天武九霄

    天武大陆云雾城,罗家大少爷罗天,一个修为只能止步于武徒的废物,辛的祖传石珠,修得逆天功法,踏上强者道路。武者等级分伐:武徒(一至九阶),武者,武士,武师,大武师,武灵,武宗,武君,武王,武皇,武帝,武尊,武圣,武神,武仙(初,中,高)