登陆注册
15468300000140

第140章 FIVE 1938-1953 FEE(3)

He is enough; he has to be enough, I'll not get any more. But by God, Ralph de Bricassart, by that God you love more than me, you'll never know what I stole from you-and from Him. I'm never going to tell you about Dane. Oh, my baby! Shifting on the pillows to settle him more comfortably into the crook of her arm, to see more easily that perfect little face. My baby! You're mine, and I'm never going to give you up to anyone else. Least of all to your father, who is a priest and can't acknowledge you. Isn't that wonderful?

The boat docked in Genoa at the beginning of April. Archbishop Ralph landed in an Italy bursting into full, Mediterranean spring, and caught a train to Rome. Had he requested it he could have been met, chauffeured in a Vatican car to Rome, but he dreaded to feel the Church close around him again; he wanted to put the moment off as long as he could. The Eternal City. It was truly that, he thought, staring out of the taxi windows at the campaniles and domes, and pigeon-strewn plazas, the ambitious fountains, the Roman columns with their bases buried deep in the centuries. Well, to him they were all superfluities. What mattered to him was the part of Rome called the Vatican, its sumptuous public rooms, its anything but sumptuous private rooms.

A black-and-cream-robed Dominican monk led him through high marble corridors, amid bronze and stone figures worthy of a museum, past great paintings in the styles of Giotto, Raphael, Botticelli, Fra Angelico. He was in the public rooms of a great cardinal, and no doubt the wealthy Contini-Verchese family had given much to enhance their august scion's surroundings.

In a room of ivory and gold, rich with color from tapestries and pictures, French carpeted and furnished, everywhere touches of crimson, sat Vittorio Scarbanza, Cardinal di Contini-Verchese. The small smooth hand, its ruby ring glowing, was extended to him in welcome; glad to fix his eyes downward, Archbishop Ralph crossed the room, knelt, took the hand to kiss the ring. And laid his cheek against the hand, knowing he couldn't lie, though he had meant to right up until the moment his lips touched that symbol of spiritual power, temporal authority.

Cardinal Vittorio put his other hand on the bent shoulder, nodding a dismissal to the monk, then as the door closed softly his hand went from shoulder to hair, rested in its dark thickness, smoothed it back tenderly from the half-averted forehead. It had changed; soon it would be no longer black, but the color of iron. The bent spine stiffened, the shoulders went back, and Archbishop Ralph looked directly up into his master's face. Ah, there had been a change! The mouth had drawn in, knew pain and was more vulnerable; the eyes, so beautiful in color and shape and setting, were yet completely different from the eyes he still remembered as if bodily they had never left him. Cardinal Vittorio had always had a fancy that the eyes of Jesus were blue, and like Ralph's: calm, removed from what He saw and therefore able to encompass all, understand all. But perhaps it had been a mistaken fancy. How could one feel for humanity and suffer oneself without its showing in the eyes?

"Come, Ralph, sit down."

"Your Eminence, I wish to confess."

"Later, later! First we will talk, and in English. There are ears everywhere these days, but, thank our dear Jesus, not English-speaking ears. Sit down, Ralph, please. Oh, it is so good to see you! I have missed your wise counsel, your rationality, your perfect brand of companionship. They have not given me anyone I like half so well as you."

He could feel his brain clicking into the formality already, feel the very thoughts in his mind take on more stilted phrasing; more than most people, Ralph de Bricassart knew how everything about one changed with one's company, even one's speech. Not for these ears the easy fluency of colloquial English. So he sat down not far away, and directly opposite the slight figure in its scarlet moiré, the color changing yet not changing, of a quality which made its edges fuse with the surroundings rather than stand out from them. The desperate weariness he had known for weeks seemed to be easing a little from his shoulders; he wondered why he had dreaded this meeting so, when he had surely known in his heart he would be understood, forgiven. But that wasn't it, not it at all. It was his own guilt at having failed, at being less than he had aspired to be, at disappointing a man who had been interested, tremendously kind, a true friend. His guilt at walking into this pure presence no longer pure himself.

"Ralph, we are priests, but we are something else before that; something we were before we became priests, and which we cannot escape in spite of our exclusiveness. We are men, with the weaknesses and failings of men. There is nothing you can tell me which could alter the impressions I formed of you during our years together, nothing you could tell me which will make me think less of you, or like you less. For many years I have known that you had escaped this realization of our intrinsic weakness, of our humanity, but I knew you must come to it, for we all do. Even the Holy Father, who is the most humble and human of us all."

"I broke my vows, Your Eminence. That isn't easily forgiven. It's sacrilege."

"Poverty you broke years ago, when you accepted the bequest of Mrs. Mary Carson. Which leaves cha/y and obedience, does it not?" "Then all three were broken, Your Eminence."

同类推荐
  • MARTIN EDEN

    MARTIN EDEN

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 南诏图传

    南诏图传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 大马扁

    大马扁

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 赠海东僧

    赠海东僧

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 入幕须知

    入幕须知

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 都市之兵王卧底

    都市之兵王卧底

    一代兵王成在天回归都市,成为了一名刑警,但还没来得及穿上警服的他却被上级派去做了卧底。繁华都市中,各路势力割据一方,暗流汹涌,身处黑与白夹缝之中的成在天能否顺利完成任务?美女警花、律政佳人、豪门千金、社团大小姐、文艺女歌手、萝莉俏护士等等一众美女又会与他产生怎样的恩怨情仇?
  • 一键成名

    一键成名

    大三学生易小禾一觉醒来,发现世界全变了。喝了神秘药水可以隐身,吃颗果实居然可以变聪明,开个宝箱开出了外星人......他是文学界的新星,武术界的奇葩,娱乐界的教父,魔术界的扛把子......“别人都在假装正经,那我只好假装不正经咯。”“我看了自己二十多年才看顺眼,你一时看我不顺眼也很正常。”“我上过大学,也被大学上过。”—————————————————————PS:求推荐!求收藏!PS:喜欢本书的可以加群-313731056欢迎加入!
  • 三界之乱世英雄

    三界之乱世英雄

    几个有着相同经历的年轻人,在同一款网络游戏中相遇;是机缘巧合?还是命中注定?在无能为力的强大面前;是誓死抵抗?还是忍辱偷生?令人热血沸腾的战斗!乐趣横生的升级过程!朋友的情谊,男儿的浪漫!敬请关注此书。
  • 查理九世之舞翼如懿

    查理九世之舞翼如懿

    DODO冒险队重返唐人街42号,打听唐晓翼的消息,却遇到一位神秘少女,虽然不认识可总有一种熟悉的感觉……少女和DODO冒险队们一起去寻找唐晓翼,可却危机重重……
  • 我的傲娇太子妃

    我的傲娇太子妃

    某女因是个路痴不小心掉进了某太子的浴池,又因为两人的洁癖而打起来了。最后某女……败!这是一段爆笑你追我赶的爱情故事,却没有想到他们之间还有一段这样的往事…………(如有雷同,呵呵――我们太有缘了!)
  • 神奇宝贝之神之小智

    神奇宝贝之神之小智

    主角穿越神奇宝贝世界,在神奇宝贝世界里冒险!不管遇到什么困难他都会化险为夷!他就是小智!
  • 寒火

    寒火

    一个21世纪信息时代的人穿越来到三国时代,成为吕布的弟弟,他将怎样运用自己的知识和胆识,创造出一个煌天盛世呢?敬请期待《三国之煌天盛世》
  • 左耳银钉

    左耳银钉

    混黑道的都听说过萧银钉,以为这是他的名字。这个中国黑道的掌舵人,冷血绝情,杀人成魔。可有多少人知道他的原名叫萧潇,他是一个集团的富少。大家都知道他身边美女如云,可有多少人知道他爱的人只有一个。后来,当他想到退出黑道的时候,他才发现这个世界上,有些事情一旦你做了,涉足你从来没有想过的事情,就再也收不回那只迈出去的脚!只有把另一只脚也迈进去才能站的稳当!
  • 属于自己的生活

    属于自己的生活

    我想了很多小说的题材,却发现都是那些模模糊糊的内容。为了满足我对小说的追求,所以我决定我要按照自己的生活去写一本写实的小说,可能写的不好,不喜勿喷,谢谢。
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)