登陆注册
15450100000002

第2章 CHAPTER I. In Which Morris Suspects (1)

How very little does the amateur, dwelling at home at ease, comprehend the labours and perils of the author, and, when he smilingly skims the surface of a work of fiction, how little does he consider the hours of toil, consultation of authorities, researches in the Bodleian, correspondence with learned and illegible Germans--in one word, the vast scaffolding that was first built up and then knocked down, to while away an hour for him in a railway train! Thus I might begin this tale with a biography of Tonti--birthplace, parentage, genius probably inherited from his mother, remarkable instance of precocity, etc--and a complete treatise on the system to which he bequeathed his name. The material is all beside me in a pigeon-hole, but I scorn to appear vainglorious. Tonti is dead, and I never saw anyone who even pretended to regret him; and, as for the tontine system, a word will suffice for all the purposes of this unvarnished narrative.

A number of sprightly youths (the more the merrier) put up a certain sum of money, which is then funded in a pool under trustees; coming on for a century later, the proceeds are fluttered for a moment in the face of the last survivor, who is probably deaf, so that he cannot even hear of his success--and who is certainly dying, so that he might just as well have lost.

The peculiar poetry and even humour of the scheme is now apparent, since it is one by which nobody concerned can possibly profit; but its fine, sportsmanlike character endeared it to our grandparents.

When Joseph Finsbury and his brother Masterman were little lads in white-frilled trousers, their father--a well-to-do merchant in Cheapside--caused them to join a small but rich tontine of seven-and-thirty lives. A thousand pounds was the entrance fee; and Joseph Finsbury can remember to this day the visit to the lawyer's, where the members of the tontine--all children like himself--were assembled together, and sat in turn in the big office chair, and signed their names with the assistance of a kind old gentleman in spectacles and Wellington boots. He remembers playing with the children afterwards on the lawn at the back of the lawyer's house, and a battle-royal that he had with a brother tontiner who had kicked his shins. The sound of war called forth the lawyer from where he was dispensing cake and wine to the assembled parents in the office, and the combatants were separated, and Joseph's spirit (for he was the smaller of the two) commended by the gentleman in the Wellington boots, who vowed he had been just such another at the same age. Joseph wondered to himself if he had worn at that time little Wellingtons and a little bald head, and when, in bed at night, he grew tired of telling himself stories of sea-fights, he used to dress himself up as the old gentleman, and entertain other little boys and girls with cake and wine.

In the year 1840 the thirty-seven were all alive; in 1850 their number had decreased by six; in 1856 and 1857 business was more lively, for the Crimea and the Mutiny carried off no less than nine. There remained in 1870 but five of the original members, and at the date of my story, including the two Finsburys, but three.

By this time Masterman was in his seventy-third year; he had long complained of the effects of age, had long since retired from business, and now lived in absolute seclusion under the roof of his son Michael, the well-known solicitor. Joseph, on the other hand, was still up and about, and still presented but a semi-venerable figure on the streets in which he loved to wander.

This was the more to be deplored because Masterman had led (even to the least particular) a model British life. Industry, regularity, respectability, and a preference for the four per cents are understood to be the very foundations of a green old age. All these Masterman had eminently displayed, and here he was, ab agendo, at seventy-three; while Joseph, barely two years younger, and in the most excellent preservation, had disgraced himself through life by idleness and eccentricity. Embarked in the leather trade, he had early wearied of business, for which he was supposed to have small parts. A taste for general information, not promptly checked, had soon begun to sap his manhood. There is no passion more debilitating to the mind, unless, perhaps, it be that itch of public speaking which it not infrequently accompanies or begets. The two were conjoined in the case of Joseph; the acute stage of this double malady, that in which the patient delivers gratuitous lectures, soon declared itself with severity, and not many years had passed over his head before he would have travelled thirty miles to address an infant school. He was no student; his reading was confined to elementary textbooks and the daily papers; he did not even fly as high as cyclopedias; life, he would say, was his volume. His lectures were not meant, he would declare, for college professors; they were addressed direct to 'the great heart of the people', and the heart of the people must certainly be sounder than its head, for his lucubrations were received with favour. That entitled 'How to Live Cheerfully on Forty Pounds a Year', created a sensation among the unemployed. 'Education: Its Aims, Objects, Purposes, and Desirability', gained him the respect of the shallow-minded.

As for his celebrated essay on 'Life Insurance Regarded in its Relation to the Masses', read before the Working Men's Mutual Improvement Society, Isle of Dogs, it was received with a 'literal ovation' by an unintelligent audience of both sexes, and so marked was the effect that he was next year elected honorary president of the institution, an office of less than no emolument--since the holder was expected to come down with a donation--but one which highly satisfied his self-esteem.

同类推荐
  • 谈天篇

    谈天篇

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 诗地理考

    诗地理考

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 四圣真君灵签

    四圣真君灵签

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • Following the Equator

    Following the Equator

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 维摩经义记卷第四

    维摩经义记卷第四

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 念念不忘不过一个你

    念念不忘不过一个你

    “郎骑竹马来,绕床弄青梅。”“苏畅,你爱过我吗?”“没有”对不起顾念,我对你的深爱是无法言说的秘密“苏畅我告诉你一个秘密,你想不想听?”摇着某人的胳膊撒娇。龟毛的某人低头看了眼顾念眉毛上挑傲娇的说“说吧。”“倾城时光,我爱的不过一个你。”是惊喜是激动,语言终不如行动来的实际紧紧的拥住你是我这辈子最幸福的事,顾念你是我这辈子最念念不忘的事。
  • 宝贝迷人,BOSS轻点宠

    宝贝迷人,BOSS轻点宠

    疼、钻心的疼;她在他身下生涩的盛放,睁眸间是他疯狂的掠夺;暗黑的夜里,神秘的金主,他高高在上,俯瞰一切。赔上身体的枕边交易,噬骨噬心;她妩媚的献上唇:“圈内都说你是我金主,我勾着你的腰,攀着你上位。”他桀骜不屑:“那就再攀紧点,我让你攀一辈子。”宫溟疼她、宠她,甚至,她不想要孩子,他也妥协了;可是,这个霸道如斯的男人却不敢问她一句:“我和你的暗恋,谁更重要。”枪穿透身体的那刻,宫溟知道了答案,宋心颜第一次尝到了铺天盖地的绝望。
  • 梦里有条宽宽的河

    梦里有条宽宽的河

    《梦里有条宽宽的河》是一部优秀的散文书,本书语言真挚朴素,带有明显顾文显散文式风格。
  • Old Fritz and the New Era

    Old Fritz and the New Era

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 校草大人,青梅被拐跑

    校草大人,青梅被拐跑

    第一次写文文不要吐槽我,这本书我只是拿来练练的,不好看不要怪我
  • 秦末旧事

    秦末旧事

    历史老师意外穿越到秦国末年,身世蹊跷。秦皇暴毙,扶苏自裁真相究竟如何?霸气的项羽为何到头一场空?混江湖的刘邦究竟是否一个无赖?作为秦人的猪脚将尝试推翻这两座大山,重续大秦辉煌。
  • 冷婚不回:前妻难归

    冷婚不回:前妻难归

    他是陆家传奇少爷,一次次在商场上翻云覆雨,唯独敌不过一个小女人。"沈夏溪,我错了!"他一再放低姿态,却只得到她近乎冰冷的语言。"陆少,你认错人了!""请不要在来烦我了!"沈夏溪这一辈子最后悔的事,就是遇见陆明煜。最明智的,就是和他离婚。过往的伤疤再次被揭开,他们之间,会否再次重逢?
  • 修真专科学院

    修真专科学院

    招生简章:想调戏不食人间烟火的女神吗?想吊打腾云驾雾的高富帅吗?想成为华夏修真界的扛把子吗?不要迟疑,入读《修真专科学院》,学制仅三年,毕业还包分配!逆风飞扬,你也可以!
  • 魏晋女子风云录

    魏晋女子风云录

    【片段一】夏侯玄抬眸便瞧见菡惜如黑玉般晶莹透亮的眼眸正莹莹的看着自己,那不点而朱的小樱瓣开合之间一股淡淡的奶甜香渐渐弥散在鼻翼两侧,让夏侯玄有瞬间的迷眩,“好,我们的秘密。”“呵呵,太初哥哥怎么变成呆子了。”菡惜看着微微有些呆愣的夏侯玄,巧笑一声,似是发现了新乐趣般,伸出玉珠般的食指正中点在夏侯玄的眉心处。“不过即使呆了,太初哥哥还是依旧漂亮。”“你个鬼灵精,我是男儿,怎可说漂亮。”感受到眉心温热的触觉,回过神的夏侯玄撇过头,躲开了菡惜的手指侵袭,遂又快速报复性的捏了下菡惜精致可爱的小鼻。……
  • 覆天规则

    覆天规则

    一梦一世界?一死一轮回?问缥缈大道谁主万物兴衰?问苍茫大地谁掌世间规则?踏日月星辰,登大道巅峰。斩千秋轮回,覆万代规则。一个不屈梦!一条不归路!一切从这里开始!