登陆注册
15448500000042

第42章 CHAPTER XII.(3)

At that moment an angel came by in the disguise of a small boy (and I cannot think of any more effective disguise an angel could have assumed), with a can of beer in one hand, and in the other something at the end of a string, which he let down on to every flat stone he came across, and then pulled up again, this producing a peculiarly unattractive sound, suggestive of suffering.

We asked this heavenly messenger (as we discovered him afterwards to be) if he knew of any lonely house, whose occupants were few and feeble (old ladies or paralysed gentlemen preferred), who could be easily frightened into giving up their beds for the night to three desperate men; or, if not this, could he recommend us to an empty pigstye, or a disused limekiln, or anything of that sort. He did not know of any such place - at least, not one handy; but he said that, if we liked to come with him, his mother had a room to spare, and could put us up for the night.

We fell upon his neck there in the moonlight and blessed him, and it would have made a very beautiful picture if the boy himself had not been so over-powered by our emotion as to be unable to sustain himself under it, and sunk to the ground, letting us all down on top of him. Harris was so overcome with joy that he fainted, and had to seize the boy's beer-can and half empty it before he could recover consciousness, and then he started off at a run, and left George and me to bring on the luggage.

It was a little four-roomed cottage where the boy lived, and his mother - good soul! - gave us hot bacon for supper, and we ate it all - five pounds - and a jam tart afterwards, and two pots of tea, and then we went to bed. There were two beds in the room; one was a 2ft. 6in. truckle bed, and George and I slept in that, and kept in by tying ourselves together with a sheet; and the other was the little boy's bed, and Harris had that all to himself, and we found him, in the morning, with two feet of bare leg sticking out at the bottom, and George and I used it to hang the towels on while we bathed.

We were not so uppish about what sort of hotel we would have, next time we went to Datchet.

To return to our present trip: nothing exciting happened, and we tugged steadily on to a little below Monkey Island, where we drew up and lunched. We tackled the cold beef for lunch, and then we found that we had forgotten to bring any mustard. I don't think I ever in my life, before or since, felt I wanted mustard as badly as I felt I wanted it then. I don't care for mustard as a rule, and it is very seldom that I take it at all, but I would have given worlds for it then.

I don't know how many worlds there may be in the universe, but anyone who had brought me a spoonful of mustard at that precise moment could have had them all. I grow reckless like that when I want a thing and can't get it.

Harris said he would have given worlds for mustard too. It would have been a good thing for anybody who had come up to that spot with a can of mustard, then: he would have been set up in worlds for the rest of his life.

But there! I daresay both Harris and I would have tried to back out of the bargain after we had got the mustard. One makes these extravagant offers in moments of excitement, but, of course, when one comes to think of it, one sees how absurdly out of proportion they are with the value of the required article. I heard a man, going up a mountain in Switzerland, once say he would give worlds for a glass of beer, and, when he came to a little shanty where they kept it, he kicked up a most fearful row because they charged him five francs for a bottle of Bass. He said it was a scandalous imposition, and he wrote to the TIMES about it.

It cast a gloom over the boat, there being no mustard. We ate our beef in silence. Existence seemed hollow and uninteresting. We thought of the happy days of childhood, and sighed. We brightened up a bit, however, over the apple-tart, and, when George drew out a tin of pine-apple from the bottom of the hamper, and rolled it into the middle of the boat, we felt that life was worth living after all.

We are very fond of pine-apple, all three of us. We looked at the picture on the tin; we thought of the juice. We smiled at one another, and Harris got a spoon ready.

Then we looked for the knife to open the tin with. We turned out everything in the hamper. We turned out the bags. We pulled up the boards at the bottom of the boat. We took everything out on to the bank and shook it. There was no tin-opener to be found.

Then Harris tried to open the tin with a pocket-knife, and broke the knife and cut himself badly; and George tried a pair of scissors, and the scissors flew up, and nearly put his eye out. While they were dressing their wounds, I tried to make a hole in the thing with the spiky end of the hitcher, and the hitcher slipped and jerked me out between the boat and the bank into two feet of muddy water, and the tin rolled over, uninjured, and broke a teacup.

Then we all got mad. We took that tin out on the bank, and Harris went up into a field and got a big sharp stone, and I went back into the boat and brought out the mast, and George held the tin and Harris held the sharp end of his stone against the top of it, and I took the mast and poised it high up in the air, and gathered up all my strength and brought it down.

It was George's straw hat that saved his life that day. He keeps that hat now (what is left of it), and, of a winter's evening, when the pipes are lit and the boys are telling stretchers about the dangers they have passed through, George brings it down and shows it round, and the stirring tale is told anew, with fresh exaggerations every time.

Harris got off with merely a flesh wound.

After that, I took the tin off myself, and hammered at it with the mast till I was worn out and sick at heart, whereupon Harris took it in hand.

同类推荐
  • MENO II

    MENO II

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 修真太极混元图

    修真太极混元图

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 饮席代官妓赠两从事

    饮席代官妓赠两从事

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 浮山法句

    浮山法句

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 浴像功德经

    浴像功德经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 弑天亡徒风流记

    弑天亡徒风流记

    人间世界,由你主宰,福兮祸兮?邪龙再侵,胜兮败兮?林枫为了提升实力下山历练去了,在山下他的种种艳遇,种种惊险,他的命运又会如何呢?在都市中,他拳打豪门高富帅,脚踢官门富二代。他追校花,泡老师,都御姐。纵横情场,称霸战场!“林枫潇洒一转身,校花萝莉都倾心,林枫向天一声吼,天地为之抖一抖!”“元芳你怎么看?”“我追看!”
  • 重生之庶女无德

    重生之庶女无德

    举案齐眉的夫君,竟会怀疑她的忠贞,苦心操劳,嫁妆耗尽,竟落得一纸休书.情如姐妹的侧室,竟会步步将她逼入死路,重入人世,且看一介庶女如何翻云覆雨!
  • 晴空万里,云似吾

    晴空万里,云似吾

    我要可乐。”“我要薯片。”“我要jump。”“我要喵郎。”
  • 异世之血斧纵横

    异世之血斧纵横

    一把血斧,一路横行。大哥级人物流落以异世,以一把斧头砍出一片大大的天下。
  • 凰之曜阳

    凰之曜阳

    哥哥,阿曜终于,找到你了呢~~PS:双洁,1v1,炮灰有没有不一定,无豆腐,轻松无虐,HE(另,封面上传不了(ㄒoㄒ),好嫌弃这个“暂无封面”昂(?_?))
  • 蔷薇之纯爱校园

    蔷薇之纯爱校园

    蔷薇,在黑暗中诉说着蔷薇的花语,讲述着一段蔷薇的爱恋,等待着你,等待着与你相逢。那个花季,我们一同迷失在迷茫中。蔷薇,在风中摇坠……
  • 魔王恋爱物语

    魔王恋爱物语

    魔王霸女俘获小女心,帝王追妻路程难。都是同一个女人怎么那么难???
  • EXO之陪伴是最长情的告白

    EXO之陪伴是最长情的告白

    洛溪樱知道,朴灿烈最大的梦想是音乐。--------溪樱朴灿烈却不知道,洛溪樱一生的梦想是朴灿烈。--------灿烈秦初暖可以为了那个叫鹿晗的男人放弃一切-----初暖鹿晗可以给那个叫秦初暖的傻女孩一个家------鹿晗夏槿晞很苦恼她是怎么推上这样一个一个弱智的男人-------槿晞边伯贤很痛苦这个女人绝对是他这辈子的大克星------伯贤从吴亦凡看到楚熙然的第一眼,他就认定她只能是他的女人-----亦凡楚熙然知道张艺兴喜欢着她,可是对不起她爱的人是吴亦凡-----熙然还有其它其它九位哦!我就不一一介绍了哦
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 三十六计的提醒

    三十六计的提醒

    本书通过《三十六计》介绍了军事方面的智慧,以及历史、地理、文学等方面的知识。