登陆注册
15443900000034

第34章 CHAPTER 1O(2)

"Those who support a system of what I term false refinement, and will not allow great part of love in the female, as well as male breast, to spring in some respects involuntarily, may not admit that charms are as necessary to feed the passion, as virtues to convert the mellowing spirit into friendship. To such observers I have nothing to say, any more than to the moralists, who insist that women ought to, and can love their husbands, because it is their duty. To you, my child, I may add, with a heart tremblingly alive to your future conduct, some observations, dictated by my present feelings, on calmly reviewing this period of my life. When novelists or moralists praise as a virtue, a woman's coldness of constitution, and want of passion; and make her yield to the ardour of her lover out of sheer compassion, or to promote a frigid plan of future comfort, I am disgusted. They may be good women, in the ordinary acceptation of the phrase, and do no harm; but they appear to me not to have those 'finely fashioned nerves,' which render the senses exquisite. They may possess tenderness; but they want that fire of the imagination, which produces _active_ sensibility, and _positive_ _virtue_. How does the woman deserve to be characterized, who marries one man, with a heart and imagination devoted to another? Is she not an object of pity or contempt, when thus sacrilegiously violating the purity of her own feelings? Nay, it is as indelicate, when she is indifferent, unless she be constitutionally insensible; then indeed it is a mere affair of barter; and I have nothing to do with the secrets of trade. Yes; eagerly as I wish you to possess true rectitude of mind, and purity of affection, I must insist that a heartless conduct is the contrary of virtuous. Truth is the only basis of virtue; and we cannot, without depraving our minds, endeavour to please a lover or husband, but in proportion as he pleases us. Men, more effectually to enslave us, may inculcate this partial morality, and lose sight of virtue in subdividing it into the duties of particular stations; but let us not blush for nature without a cause!

"After these remarks, I am ashamed to own, that I was pregnant.

The greatest sacrifice of my principles in my whole life, was the allowing my husband again to be familiar with my person, though to this cruel act of self-denial, when I wished the earth to open and swallow me, you owe your birth; and I the unutterable pleasure of being a mother. There was something of delicacy in my husband's bridal attentions; but now his tainted breath, pimpled face, and blood-shot eyes, were not more repugnant to my senses, than his gross manners, and loveless familiarity to my taste.

"A man would only be expected to maintain; yes, barely grant a subsistence, to a woman rendered odious by habitual intoxication; but who would expect him, or think it possible to love her? And unless 'youth, and genial years were flown,' it would be thought equally unreasonable to insist, [under penalty of] forfeiting almost every thing reckoned valuable in life, that he should not love another: whilst woman, weak in reason, impotent in will, is required to moralize, sentimentalize herself to stone, and pine her life away, labouring to reform her embruted mate. He may even spend in dissipation, and intemperance, the very intemperance which renders him so hateful, her property, and by stinting her expences, not permit her to beguile in society, a wearisome, joyless life; for over their mutual fortune she has no power, it must all pass through his hand. And if she be a mother, and in the present state of women, it is a great misfortune to be prevented from discharging the duties, and cultivating the affections of one, what has she not to endure?--But I have suffered the tenderness of one to lead me into reflections that I did not think of making, to interrupt my narrative--yet the full heart will overflow.

"Mr. Venables' embarrassments did not now endear him to me; still, anxious to befriend him, I endeavoured to prevail on him to retrench his expences; but he had always some plausible excuse to give, to justify his not following my advice. Humanity, compassion, and the interest produced by a habit of living together, made me try to relieve, and sympathize with him; but, when I recollected that I was bound to live with such a being for ever--my heart died within me; my desire of improvement became languid, and baleful, corroding melancholy took possession of my soul. Marriage had bastilled me for life. I discovered in myself a capacity for the enjoyment of the various pleasures existence affords; yet, fettered by the partial laws of society, this fair globe was to me an universal blank.

"When I exhorted my husband to economy, I referred to himself.

I was obliged to practise the most rigid, or contract debts, which I had too much reason to fear would never be paid. I despised this paltry privilege of a wife, which can only be of use to the vicious or inconsiderate, and determined not to increase the torrent that was bearing him down. I was then ignorant of the extent of his fraudulent speculations, whom I was bound to honour and obey.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 【完结】囧囧少女穿越:抗旨王妃

    【完结】囧囧少女穿越:抗旨王妃

    【蓬莱岛】本文讲述一个嘴巴毒辣、奸诈搞笑的女子抗旨当狗皇帝的老婆,却最终沦为某王爷的囧妃。此女恶作剧百出,调戏美男,捉弄奸妃,怂恿丈夫出墙,闹得风国人仰马翻,美男为她大打出手,被誉为史上最牛公主。最牛公主的愿望其实很简单,但求一心人白首不相离,可那却是世间最难的事!
  • 霸道总裁小厨娘

    霸道总裁小厨娘

    逃婚却撞入狼窝,楚言之邪魅一笑,小白兔,看你如何逃过大灰狼的手掌心
  • 狼情:双刃

    狼情:双刃

    古怪的学院古怪的班级每逢十五月圆必是空无一人.破碎的家庭残损的身体,心灰意冷被送回故乡.古怪的班级古怪的人,在这她似乎也是多余...却又不是如此在这她找到了友情亲情还有刻骨的爱情.两把各家族先祖守护的利刃磨砺了他们的情好在最后终是得一人心携手白头......
  • 妖华天下

    妖华天下

    忘却前世,她化为仙灵门门主座下最愚钝的女弟子,不知何因何故,她被门主收下,不知何因何故,仙灵门遭屠杀,不知何因何故,得一卷妖华录,那一篇篇书页,谱写着的,又是谁的爱憎?谁的恩仇?天界君主,魔界帝王,每一个字,都是无尽的伤痛。且看谁倾天下,谁负了谁一世妖华!
  • 何能勿忘我

    何能勿忘我

    曾经的我们有着天真的幻想,我们认为时间的困苦磨难都不会眷顾我们这些平凡而卑微的人,可是最后我们却发现我们错了,我们在现实面前都是幼稚的失败者,我们败给了青春的懵懂无知,我们也败给了命运的冷酷无情,明明我们曾经是那么的相爱,但是亲现在却都在用自己折磨着对方。
  • 悲伤只是路过

    悲伤只是路过

    心声是对文章的最好介绍,从青春懵懂到后来的轻车熟路,一切都是那么诡异的变化着
  • 妖孽君主:攻略一个相

    妖孽君主:攻略一个相

    她原本是二十一世纪隐世大家族的少主,一朝陨落到封临大陆。女扮男装,尽展风华。各路妖孽纷纷来袭。“喂!我是男的,你干嘛呢?”某女咬牙切齿置问某一个在她身上准备图谋不轨的人“哦~是吗!我准备脱衣棒媳妇看清楚自己到底是什么性别”
  • 天价萌妻

    天价萌妻

    六年后,她再次回国,带着一对天才萌宝,试图查清事情的真相,却不小心撞入了他的怀抱。男人的嘴角噙着一抹邪魅的笑,“女人,我们是不是见过?”“不可能!绝对没有!”“是吗?”他冷笑一声,强势又霸道的吻上她的唇,“那么,从现在开始,做我的女人!”顶级黑客的天才儿子,扮猪吃老虎的女王闺女,杠上邪魅总裁爹地,再加上一个擅长睁眼说瞎话的伪善妈咪,另外还有一大波男强女强,高智商高情商高手段高心计,斗智斗勇的黑道帅哥美人强势来袭。
  • 蛮士

    蛮士

    士为知己者死的蛮荒,藏相带领着身穿兽皮的蛮士,开疆扩土,发展经济,发展工业,纵横连挫,所向披靡,建立一个大大的蛮士帝国……
  • 迷情都

    迷情都

    你每一天都生活在都市里,可是你是否想过,在这个你或熟悉或陌生的都市,却有几处你无法想象的地方,那里即使天堂,也是地狱。因为这里有香艳撩人的花丛,让人留恋忘还,紫醉金迷……这里也有硝烟弥漫的战场,一不留神,钱财尽失,面目全非……但是,最多的却是阴谋,它看似很远,却又无处不在,无声无息…………虽然命运时常把他抓弄到最黑暗的角落,可他却凭借自己的智慧以及高深的谋略,为自己带来光明。这人就是陈伟杰!“黑鹰”特种兵王!!且让我们随他的脚步,一步一步地剖析这个精彩的都市……