Conversation in France,if you have the address and dexterity to turn it upon useful subjects,will exceedingly improve your historical knowledge;for people there,however classically ignorant they may be,think it a shame to be ignorant of the history of their own country:they read that,if they read nothing else,and having often read nothing else,are proud of having read that,and talk of it willingly;even the women are well instructed in that sort of reading.I am far from meaning by this that you should always be talking wisely in company,of books,history,and matters of knowledge.There are many companies which you will,and ought to keep,where such conversations would be misplaced and ill-timed;your own good sense must distinguish the company and the time.You must trifle only with triflers;and be serious only with the serious,but dance to those who pipe.'Cur in theatrum Cato severs venisti?'was justly said to an old man:how much more so would it be to one of your age?From the moment that you are dressed and go out,pocket all your knowledge with your watch,and never pull it out in company unless desired:the producing of the one unasked,implies that you are weary of the company;and the producing of the other unrequired,will make the company weary of you.Company is a republic too jealous of its liberties,to suffer a dictator even for a quarter of an hour;and yet in that,as in republics,there are some few who really govern;but then it is by seeming to disclaim,instead of attempting to usurp the power;that is the occasion in which manners,dexterity,address,and the undefinable 'je ne sais quoi'triumph;if properly exerted,their conquest is sure,and the more lasting for not being perceived.Remember,that this is not only your first and greatest,but ought to be almost your only object,while you are in France.
I know that many of your countrymen are apt to call the freedom and vivacity of the French petulancy and illbreeding;but,should you think so,I desire upon many accounts that you will not say so;I admit that it may be so in some instances of 'petits maitres Etourdis',and in some young people unbroken to the world;but I can assure you,that you will find it much otherwise with people of a certain rank and age,upon whose model you will do very well to form yourself.We call their steady assurance,impudence why?Only because what we call modesty is awkward bashfulness and 'mauvaise honte'.For my part,I see no impudence,but,on the contrary,infinite utility and advantage in presenting one's self with the same coolness and unconcern in any and every company.Till one can do that,I am very sure that one can never present one's self well.
Whatever is done under concern and embarrassment,must be ill done,and,till a man is absolutely easy and unconcerned in every company,he will never be thought to have kept good company,nor be very welcome in it.
A steady assurance,with seeming modesty,is possibly the most useful qualification that a man can have in every part of life.A man would certainly make a very considerable fortune and figure in the world,whose modesty and timidity should often,as bashfulness always does (put him in the deplorable and lamentable situation of the pious AEneas,when 'obstupuit,steteruntque comae;et vox faucibus haesit!).Fortune (as well as women)--"---------born to be controlled,Stoops to the forward and the bold."Assurance and intrepidity,under the white banner of seeming modesty,clear the way for merit,that would otherwise be discouraged by difficulties in its journey;whereas barefaced impudence is the noisy and blustering harbinger of a worthless and senseless usurper.
You will think that I shall never have done recommending to you these exterior worldly accomplishments,and you will think right,for I never shall;they are of too great consequence to you for me to be indifferent or negligent about them:the shining part of your future figure and fortune depends now wholly upon them.These are the acquisitions which must give efficacy and success to those you have already made.To have it said and believed that you are the most learned man in England,would be no more than was said and believed of Dr.Bentley;but to have it said,at the same time,that you are also the best-bred,most polite,and agreeable man in the kingdom,would be such a happy composition of a character as I never yet knew any one man deserve;and which I will endeavor,as well as ardently wish,that you may.Absolute perfection is,I well know,unattainable;but I know too,that a man of parts may be unweariedly aiming at it,and arrive pretty near it.Try,labor,persevere.Adieu.
