TUSCULUM (JULY)
I WAS charmed with your letter,in which,first of all,what I loved was the tenderness which prompted you to write,in alarm lest Silius should by his news have caused me any anxiety.About this news,not only had you written to me before--in fact twice,one letter being a duplicate of the other--shewing me clearly that you were upset,but I also had answered you in full detail,in order that I might,as far as such a business and such a crisis admitted,free you from your anxiety,or at any rate alleviate it.But since you shew in your last also how anxious you are about that matter--make up your mind to this,my dear Paetus:that whatever could possibly be accomplished by art--for it is not enough nowadays to contend with mere prudence,a sort of system must be elaborated--however,whatever could be done or effected towards winning and securing the goodwill of those men I have done,and not,I think,in vain.For I receive such attentions,such politenesses from all Caesar's favourites as make me believe myself beloved by them.
For,though genuine love is not easily distinguished from feigned,unless some crisis occurs of a kind to test faithful affection by its danger,as gold in the fire,there are other indications of a general nature.But I only employ one proof to convince me that I am loved from the heart and in sincerity--namely,that my fortune and theirs is of such a kind as to preclude any motive on their part for pretending.In regard,again,to the man who now possesses all power,I see no reason for my being alarmed:except the fact that,once depart from law,everything is uncertain;and that nothing can be guaranteed as to the future which depends on another man's will,not to say caprice.Be that as it may,personally his feelings have in no respect been wounded by me.For in that particular point I have exhibited the greatest self-control.For,as in old times I used to reckon that to speak without reserve was a privilege of mine,since to my exertions the existence of liberty in the state was owing,so,now that that is lost,I think it is my duty to say nothing calculated to offend either his wishes or those of his favourites.
But if I want to avoid the credit of certain keen or witty epigrams,Imust entirely abjure a reputation for genius,which I would not refuse to do,if I could.But after all Caesar himself has a very keen critical faculty,and,just as your cousin Servius--whom I consider to have been a most accomplished man of letters--had no difficulty in saying:"This verse is not Plautus's,this is--"because he had acquired a sensitive ear by dint of classifying the various styles of poets and habitual reading,so I am told that Caesar,having now completed his volumes of bons mots,if anything is brought to him as mine,which is not so,habitually rejects it.This he now does all the more,because his intimates are in my company almost every day.Now in the course of our discursive talk many remarks are let fall,which perhaps at the time of my making them seem to them wanting neither in literary flavour nor in piquancy.These are conveyed to him along with the other news of the day:for so he himself directed.Thus it comes about that if he is told of anything besides about me,he considers that he ought not to listen to it.
