Man's efforts are vain,his knowledge is nil,and he has no ability when God does not strengthen,teach,and guide him.All my efforts only served to make my guards more wary and careful.The outburst of the night before made them very angry,and they beat me so much along the road that they nearly left me for dead.They said,You damned fish--you were trying to get away.If we weren't so kindhearted,we would kill you.You're like an oak tree that won't give up its acorns unless it's beaten."
The fishermen took me into Toledo,pounded,cursed,and dying of hunger.They found a place to stay,near the square of Zocodover,at the house of a lady whose wines I used to announce.They put me in a room downstairs,and many people came to see me.One of them was my Elvira,leading my daughter by the hand.When I saw them I couldn't hold back two Nile Rivers of tears that flowed from my eyes.I sighed and wept--but to myself so the fishermen wouldn't deprive me of what I loved so much and what I wanted to feast my eyes on.Although it might have been better if those men who took away my voice had taken away my sight,too,because when I looked at my wife carefully I saw--I don't know if I should say it--she looked like she was about to go into labor.I sat there absolutely amazed,although I shouldn't have been if I had thought about it because my lord the archdeacon told me when I left that city to go to war that he would treat her as if she were his very own.What really bothered me was that I couldn't convince myself that she was pregnant by me because I had been gone for more than a year.
When we were living together she used to say to me,"Lazaro,don't think I'm cheating on you,because if you do you're very wrong."And I was so satisfied that I avoided thinking anything bad about her the way the devil avoids holy water.I spent my life happy and content and not at all jealous (which is a madman's sickness).Time and again I have thought to myself that this business of children is all a matter of belief.Because how many men are there who love children they think are their own when the only thing they have in common is their name?And there are others who hate their children because they get the notion that their wives have put horns on their heads.
I began to count the days and months,and I found the road to my consolation closed off.Then I began to think that my wife might have dropsy.I didn't go on with this pious meditation very long because as soon as she left,two old women began to talk to each other:"What do you think of that archpriestess?She certainly doesn't need her husband around.""Who is the father?"asked the other.'Who?"answered the first,'Why,the archpriest.And he's such a good man that,to avoid the scandal that would spread if she gave birth in his house without a husband,he's going to marry her to that foreigner,Pierre,next Sunday,and that fellow will be just as understanding as my friend,Lazaro."
This was the last straw--the non plus ultra --of my understanding.My heart began to break out in a sweat in the water,and without being able to lift a hand I fainted in that hogsty.The water began to pour into me through every door and window,without any resistance.I looked like I was dead (although it was completely against my will,because I wanted to live as long as I could and as long as God would let me,in spite of those damned fishermen and my bad luck).
The fishermen were very upset,and they made every one leave.Then they very quickly lifted my head out of the water.When they saw that I had no pulse and that I'd stopped breathing,they did,too.They started to moan over what they had lost (which was no small amount for them),and they took me out of the cask.Then they tried to make me vomit up all I had drunk,but that was useless because death had come in and closed the door behind.When they saw all their dreams gone up in smoke,they turned as ashen as lilies on the Sunday after Easter.They couldn't think of any way to abet or abate their trials and troubles.The Council of Three finally decreed that the following night they would take me to the river and throw me in with a stone tied around my neck so that what had caused my death would also be my grave.
