The more I thought about it,the less I felt like doing it,though,because really you have no business to ask God to take care of you,unless you KNOW you are doing right.This was right,but in my heart I also knew that if Laddie had asked me,Iwould be shivering on top of that cord wood on a hot August day,when it was wrong.On the whole,I thought it would be more honest to leave God out of it,and take the risk myself.That made me think of the Crusaders,and the little gold trinket in father's chest till.There were four shells on it and each one stood for a trip on foot or horseback to the Holy City when you had to fight almost every step of the way.Those shells meant that my father's people had gone four times,so he said;that,although it was away far back,still each of us had a tiny share of the blood of the Crusaders in our veins,and that it would make us brave and strong,and whenever we were afraid,if we would think of them,we never could do a cowardly thing or let any one else do one before us.He said any one with Crusader blood had to be brave as Richard the Lion-hearted.Thinking about that helped ever so much,so I gripped the note and turned to take one last look at the house before I made a dash for the gate that led into the Big Woods.
Beyond our land lay the farm of Jacob Hood,and Mrs.Hood always teased me because Laddie had gone racing after her when I was born.She was in the middle of Monday's washing,and the bluing settled in the rinse water and stained her white clothes in streaks it took months to bleach out.I always liked Sarah Hood for coming and dressing me,though,because our Sally,who was big enough to have done it,was upstairs crying and wouldn't come down.I liked Laddie too,because he was the only one of our family who went to my mother and kissed her,said he was glad,and offered to help her.Maybe the reason he went was because he had an awful scare,but anyway he WENT,and that was enough for me.
You see it was this way:no one wanted me;as there had been eleven of us,every one felt that was enough.May was six years old and in school,and my mother thought there never would be any more babies.She had given away the cradle and divided the baby clothes among my big married sisters and brothers,and was having a fine time and enjoying herself the most she ever had in her life.The land was paid for long ago;the house she had planned,builded as she wanted it;she had a big team of matched grays and a carriage with side lamps and patent leather trimmings;and sometimes there was money in the bank.I do not know that there was very much,but any at all was a marvel,considering how many of us there were to feed,clothe,and send to college.Mother was forty-six and father was fifty;so they felt young enough yet to have a fine time and enjoy life,and just when things were going best,I announced that I was halfway over my journey to earth.
You can't blame my mother so much.She must have been tired of babies and disliked to go back and begin all over after resting six years.And you mustn't be too hard on my father if he was not just overjoyed.He felt sure the cook would leave,and she did.He knew Sally would object to a baby,when she wanted to begin having beaus,so he and mother talked it over and sent her away for a long visit to Ohio with father's people,and never told her.They intended to leave her there until I was over the colic,at least.They knew the big married brothers and sisters would object,and they did.They said it would be embarrassing for their children to be the nieces and nephews of an aunt or uncle younger than themselves.They said it so often and so emphatically that father was provoked and mother cried.Shelley didn't like it because she was going to school in Groveville,where Lucy,one of our married sisters,lived,and she was afraid I would make so much work she would have to give up her books and friends and remain at home.There never was a baby born who was any less wanted than I was.I knew as much about it as any one else,because from the day I could understand,all of them,father,mother,Shelley,Sarah Hood,every one who knew,took turns telling me how badly I was not wanted,how much trouble I made,and how Laddie was the only one who loved me at first.
Because of that I was on the cord wood trying to find courage to go farther.Over and over Laddie had told me himself.He had been to visit our big sister Elizabeth over Sunday and about eight o'clock Monday morning he came riding down the road,and saw the most dreadful thing.There was not a curl of smoke from the chimneys,not a tablecloth or pillowslip on the line,not a blind raised.Laddie said his heart went--just like mine did when the Something jumped in the creek bed,no doubt.Then he laid on the whip and rode.
He flung the rein over the hitching post,leaped the fence and reached the back door.The young green girl,who was all father could get when the cook left,was crying.So were Shelley and little May,although she said afterward she had a boil on her heel and there was no one to poultice it.Laddie leaned against the door casing,and it is easy enough to understand what he thought.He told me he had to try twice before he could speak,and then he could only ask:"What's the matter?"Probably May never thought she would have the chance,but the others were so busy crying harder,now that they had an audience,that she was first to tell him:"We have got a little sister.""Great Day!"cried Laddie."You made me think we had a funeral!
Where is mother,and where is my Little Sister?"He went bolting right into mother's room and kissed her like the gladdest boy alive;because he was only a boy then,and he told her how happy he was that she was safe,and then he ASKED for me.
He said I was the only living creature in that house who was not shedding tears,and I didn't begin for about six months afterward.In fact,not until Shelley taught me by pinching me if she had to rock the cradle;then I would cry so hard mother would have to take me.He said he didn't believe I'd ever have learned by myself.
