登陆注册
15422500000017

第17章 DOUBTS AND DIFFICULTIES (4)

At length he stopped and replied: 'Margaret, I am a poor coward after all. I cannot bear to give pain. Iknow so well your mother's married life has not been all she hoped--all she had a right to expect--and this will be such a blow to her, that Ihave never had the heart, the power to tell her. She must be told though, now,' said he, looking wistfully at his daughter. Margaret was almost overpowered with the idea that her mother knew nothing of it all, and yet the affair was so far advanced! 'Yes, indeed she must,' said Margaret. 'Perhaps, after all, she may not--Oh yes! she will, she must be shocked'--as the force of the blow returned upon herself in trying to realise how another would take it. 'Where are we to go to?' said she at last, struck with a fresh wonder as to their future plans, if plans indeed her father had. 'To Milton-Northern,' he answered, with a dull indifference, for he had perceived that, although his daughter's love had made her cling to him, and for a moment strive to soothe him with her love, yet the keenness of the pain was as fresh as ever in her mind. 'Milton-Northern! The manufacturing town in Darkshire?' 'Yes,' said he, in the same despondent, indifferent way. 'Why there, papa?' asked she. 'Because there I can earn bread for my family. Because I know no one there, and no one knows Helstone, or can ever talk to me about it.' 'Bread for your family! I thought you and mamma had'--and then she stopped, checking her natural interest regarding their future life, as she saw the gathering gloom on her father's brow. But he, with his quick intuitive sympathy, read in her face, as in a mirror, the reflections of his own moody depression, and turned it off with an effort. 'You shall be told all, Margaret. Only help me to tell your mother. I think I could do anything but that: the idea of her distress turns me sick with dread. If I tell you all, perhaps you could break it to her to-morrow.

I am going out for the day, to bid Farmer Dobson and the poor people on Bracy Common good-bye. Would you dislike breaking it to her very much, Margaret?'Margaret did dislike it, did shrink from it more than from anything she had ever had to do in her life before. She could not speak, all at once. Her father said, 'You dislike it very much, don't you, Margaret?' Then she conquered herself, and said, with a bright strong look on her face: 'It is a painful thing, but it must be done, and I will do it as well as ever I can. You must have many painful things to do.' Mr. Hale shook his head despondingly: he pressed her hand in token of gratitude.

Margaret was nearly upset again into a burst of crying. To turn her thoughts, she said: 'Now tell me, papa, what our plans are. You and mamma have some money, independent of the income from the living, have not you? Aunt Shaw has, I know.' 'Yes. I suppose we have about a hundred and seventy pounds a year of our own. Seventy of that has always gone to Frederick, since he has been abroad.

I don't know if he wants it all,' he continued in a hesitating manner.

'He must have some pay for serving with the Spanish army.' 'Frederick must not suffer,' said Margaret, decidedly; 'in a foreign country;so unjustly treated by his own. A hundred is left Could not you, and I, and mamma live on a hundred a year in some very cheap--very quiet part of England? Oh! I think we could.' 'No!' said Mr. Hale. 'That would not answer. I must do something. I must make myself busy, to keep off morbid thoughts. Besides, in a country parish I should be so painfully reminded of Helstone, and my duties here. I could not bear it, Margaret. And a hundred a year would go a very little way, after the necessary wants of housekeeping are met, towards providing your mother with all the comforts she has been accustomed to, and ought to have.

No: we must go to Milton. That is settled. I can always decide better by myself, and not influenced by those whom I love,' said he, as a half apology for having arranged so much before he had told any one of his family of his intentions. 'I cannot stand objections. They make me so undecided.' Margaret resolved to keep silence. After all, what did it signify where they went, compared to the one terrible change? Mr. Hale continued: 'A few months ago, when my misery of doubt became more than I could bear without speaking, I wrote to Mr. Bell--you remember Mr.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 白色眷恋

    白色眷恋

    因为不满皇马6比2的比分,中国青年律师沈星怒砸啤酒瓶,结果电光火石间,他穿越成了佛罗伦蒂诺的儿子,且看来自09年的小伙子如何玩转03年的欧洲足坛
  • 妖爱物语之夜冥传双话

    妖爱物语之夜冥传双话

    我们一族曾经为了妖界鞠躬尽瘁,到头来,居然还被妖王视作叛贼。可悲的命运。我要反转这个局势,我要成为妖王,领导妖界!!!!
  • 身后有鬼:阴夫别过来

    身后有鬼:阴夫别过来

    我天生阴女体质,干的又是跟尸体打交道的活,没成想冰棺里的男人睁开眼,说我是他的娘子,还说我的眼睛是他给的……
  • 韩娱之主

    韩娱之主

    ——————————对我而言,可爱的她们!
  • 三世有缘:今世永远

    三世有缘:今世永远

    一个是21世纪的金牌杀手,一个是冬凌国的天才七皇子,当感情白痴遇上情场浪子会擦出怎样的恋爱火花呢?前三世爱情的悲局,又是怎样形成的呢?前三世的悲剧,还会在这一世上演吗?
  • 天降神妻:高冷总裁战神妻

    天降神妻:高冷总裁战神妻

    “咻~砰!!1”神君与魔皇的女儿魔神战神——神魔陌被自己的神君父王和魔皇母后给派来63号平行空间(俗称小说)来寻找“真爱”。可是一不小心,就从天而降压“死”了男主角......
  • 昏黎夜语

    昏黎夜语

    小心、!百鬼即将夜行!、嘘——、他们的故事、?来喝壶茶、我道给你听、
  • 技战巅峰

    技战巅峰

    小时候,在一个寒冬的夜里,自己冷得瑟瑟发抖,坐在西街的路边,那时候的自己不过七岁而已,一个小男孩独自游荡在街角,看见了自己,笑了笑,脱下了厚实的棉衣,轻轻的将一百滴战灵液和棉衣一起放在了自己的身前。然后又瑟瑟发抖的继续游荡而去,那时候的自己什么也不是,只是流浪在街头的一个小孩。看着那离去的背影,自己便发誓,如果在遇见他,一定要嫁给他。从哪以后,羟薇便是黑衣裹身,斗笠遮面,每天努力的修行先主留下来的武技。
  • 桃运鬼医

    桃运鬼医

    我叫夏森,天命鬼医传人,鬼医夜行,手挚桃符,禁忌百条,最避桃运……民间鬼故事,惊悚,恐怖,灵异,尸体,鬼魂,恶灵……
  • 家猫修仙记

    家猫修仙记

    修仙家族中一只普通的猫误食仙草,险些丧命,被家主所救,拥有了灵智,走上了不同的道路