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第5章 THE INCONCEIVABLE AND MONSTROUS(1)

"Spare no money," I said to Roscoe."Let everything on the Snark be of the best.And never mind decoration.Plain pine boards is good enough finishing for me.But put the money into the construction.

Let the Snark be as staunch and strong as any boat afloat.Never mind what it costs to make her staunch and strong; you see that she is made staunch and strong, and I'll go on writing and earning the money to pay for it."And I did...as well as I could; for the Snark ate up money faster than I could earn it.In fact, every little while I had to borrow money with which to supplement my earnings.Now I borrowed one thousand dollars, now I borrowed two thousand dollars, and now Iborrowed five thousand dollars.And all the time I went on working every day and sinking the earnings in the venture.I worked Sundays as well, and I took no holidays.But it was worth it.Every time Ithought of the Snark I knew she was worth it.

For know, gentle reader, the staunchness of the Snark.She is forty-five feet long on the waterline.Her garboard strake is three inches thick; her planking two and one-half inches thick; her deck-planking two inches thick and in all her planking there are no butts.I know, for I ordered that planking especially from Puget Sound.Then the Snark has four water-tight compartments, which is to say that her length is broken by three water-tight bulkheads.

Thus, no matter how large a leak the Snark may spring, Only one compartment can fill with water.The other three compartments will keep her afloat, anyway, and, besides, will enable us to mend the leak.There is another virtue in these bulkheads.The last compartment of all, in the very stern, contains six tanks that carry over one thousand gallons of gasolene.Now gasolene is a very dangerous article to carry in bulk on a small craft far out on the wide ocean.But when the six tanks that do not leak are themselves contained in a compartment hermetically sealed off from the rest of the boat, the danger will be seen to be very small indeed.

The Snark is a sail-boat.She was built primarily to sail.But incidentally, as an auxiliary, a seventy-horse-power engine was installed.This is a good, strong engine.I ought to know.I paid for it to come out all the way from New York City.Then, on deck, above the engine, is a windlass.It is a magnificent affair.It weighs several hundred pounds and takes up no end of deck-room.You see, it is ridiculous to hoist up anchor by hand-power when there is a seventy-horse-power engine on board.So we installed the windlass, transmitting power to it from the engine by means of a gear and castings specially made in a San Francisco foundry.

The Snark was made for comfort, and no expense was spared in this regard.There is the bath-room, for instance, small and compact, it is true, but containing all the conveniences of any bath-room upon land.The bath-room is a beautiful dream of schemes and devices, pumps, and levers, and sea-valves.Why, in the course of its building, I used to lie awake nights thinking about that bath-room.

And next to the bathroom come the life-boat and the launch.They are carried on deck, and they take up what little space might have been left us for exercise.But then, they beat life insurance; and the prudent man, even if he has built as staunch and strong a craft as the Snark, will see to it that he has a good life-boat as well.

And ours is a good one.It is a dandy.It was stipulated to cost one hundred and fifty dollars, and when I came to pay the bill, it turned out to be three hundred and ninety-five dollars.That shows how good a life-boat it is.

I could go on at great length relating the various virtues and excellences of the Snark, but I refrain.I have bragged enough as it is, and I have bragged to a purpose, as will be seen before my tale is ended.And please remember its title, "The Inconceivable and Monstrous." It was planned that the Snark should sail on October 1, 1906.That she did not so sail was inconceivable and monstrous.There was no valid reason for not sailing except that she was not ready to sail, and there was no conceivable reason why she was not ready.She was promised on November first, on November fifteenth, on December first; and yet she was never ready.On December first Charmian and I left the sweet, clean Sonoma country and came down to live in the stifling city--but not for long, oh, no, only for two weeks, for we would sail on December fifteenth.

And I guess we ought to know, for Roscoe said so, and it was on his advice that we came to the city to stay two weeks.Alas, the two weeks went by, four weeks went by, six weeks went by, eight weeks went by, and we were farther away from sailing than ever.Explain it? Who?--me? I can't.It is the one thing in all my life that Ihave backed down on.There is no explaining it; if there were, I'd do it.I, who am an artisan of speech, confess my inability to explain why the Snark was not ready.As I have said, and as I must repeat, it was inconceivable and monstrous.

The eight weeks became sixteen weeks, and then, one day, Roscoe cheered us up by saying: "If we don't sail before April first, you can use my head for a football."Two weeks later he said, "I'm getting my head in training for that match.""Never mind," Charmian and I said to each other; "think of the wonderful boat it is going to be when it is completed."Whereat we would rehearse for our mutual encouragement the manifold virtues and excellences of the Snark.Also, I would borrow more money, and I would get down closer to my desk and write harder, and I refused heroically to take a Sunday off and go out into the hills with my friends.I was building a boat, and by the eternal it was going to be a boat, and a boat spelled out all in capitals--B--O--A--T; and no matter what it cost I didn't care.So long as it was a BOAT.

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