XXV.
MAY 4
Miss CLIFFORD came to lunch with us on Wednesday.Her remarkable restoration to health has attracted a good deal of attention, and has given Ernest a certain reputation which does not come amiss to him.
Not that he is ambitious; a more unworldly man does not live; but his extreme reserve and modesty have obscured the light that is now beginning to shine.We all enjoyed Miss Clifford's visit.She is one of the freshest, most original creatures I ever met with, and kept us all laughing with her quaint speeches, long after every particle of lunch had disappeared from the table.But this mobile nature turns to the serious side of life with marvelous ease and celerity, as perhaps all sound ones ought to do.I took her up to my room where my work-basket was, and Helen followed, with hers.
"I have brought something to read to you, dear Mrs.Elliott," Miss Clifford began, the moment we had seated ourselves, "which I have just lighted on, and I am sure you will like.A nobleman writes to Fenelon asking certain questions, and a part of these questions, with the replies, I want to enjoy with you, as they cover a good deal of the ground we have often discussed together":
"I.-How shall I offer my purely indifferent actions to God; walks, visits made and received, dress, little proprieties, such as washing the hands, etc.', the reading of books of history, business with which I am charged for my friends, other amusements, such -as shopping, having clothes made, and equipages.I want to have some sort of prayer, or method of offering each of these things to God.
"REPLY.-The most indifferent actions cease to be such, and become good as soon as one performs them with the intention of conforming one's self in them to the will of God.They are often better and purer than certain actions which appear more virtuous: 1st, because they are less of our own choice and more in the order of Providence when one is obliged to perform them; 2d, because they are simpler and less exposed to vain complaisance; 3d, because if one yields to them with moderation, one finds in them more of death to one's inclinations than in certain acts of fervor in which self-love mingles; finally, because these little occasions occur more frequently, and furnish a secret occasion for continually making every moment profitable.
"It is not necessary to make great efforts nor acts of great reflection, in order to offer what are called indifferent actions.It is enough to lift the soul one instant to God, to make a simple offering of it.Everything which God wishes us to do, and which enters into the course of occupation suitable to our position, can and ought to be offered to God; nothing is unworthy of Him but sin.
When you feel that an action cannot be offered to God, conclude that it does not become a Christian; it is at least necessary to suspect it, and seek light concerning it.I would not have a special prayer for each of these the elevation of the heart at the moment suffices.
"As for visits, commissions and the like, as there is danger of following one's own taste too much, I would add to this elevating of the heart a prayer to moderate myself and use precaution.
"II-In prayer I cannot fix my mind, or I have intervals of time when it is elsewhere and it is often distracted for a long time before Iperceive it.I want to find some means of becoming its master.
"REPLY.-Fidelity in following the rules that have been given you, and in recalling your mind every time you perceive its distraction, will gradually give you the grace of being more recollected.
Meanwhile bear your involuntary distractions with patience and humility; you deserve nothing better.Is it surprising that recollection is difficult to a man so long dissipated and far from God?
"III.-I wish to know if it is best to record, on my tablets, the faults and the sins I have committed, in order not to rum the risk of forgetting them.I excite in myself to repentance for my faults as much as I can; but I have never felt any real grief on account of them.When I examine myself at night, I see persons far more perfect than I complain of more sin: as for me, I seek, I find nothing; and yet it is impossible there should not be many points on which to implore pardon every day of my life.
"REPLY.-You should examine yourself every night, but simply and briefly.In the disposition to which God has brought you, you will not voluntarily commit any considerable fault without remembering and reproaching yourself for it.As to little faults, scarcely perceived, even if you sometimes forget them, this need not make you uneasy.
"As to lively grief on account of your sins, it is not necessary.God gives it when it pleases Him.True and essential conversion of the heart consists in a full will to sacrifice all to God.What I call full will is a fixed immovable disposition of the will to resume none of the voluntary affections which may alter the purity of the love to God and to abandon itself to all the crosses which it will -perhaps -be necessary to bear, in order to accomplish the will of God always and in all things.As to sorrow for sin, when one has it, one ought to return thanks for it; when one perceives it to be wanting, one should humble one's self peacefully before God without trying to excite it by vain efforts.
"You find in your self-examination fewer faults than persons more advanced and more perfect do; it is because your interior light is still feeble.It will increase, and the view of your infidelities will increase in proportion.It suffices, without making yourself uneasy, to try to be faithful to the degree of light you possess, and to instruct yourself by reading and meditation.It will not do to try to forestall the grace that belongs to a more advanced period.It would only serve to trouble and discourage you, and even to exhaust you by continual anxiety; the time that should be spent in loving God would be given to forced returns upon yourself, which secretly nourish self-love.
