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第5章 THE CONFESSION

H.You say you cannot love.Is there not a prior attachment in the case?Was there any one else that you did like?

S.Yes,there was another.

H.Ah!I thought as much.Is it long ago then?

S.It is two years,Sir.

H.And has time made no alteration?Or do you still see him sometimes?

S.No,Sir!But he is one to whom I feel the sincerest affection,and ever shall,though he is far distant.

H.And did he return your regard?

S.I had every reason to think so.

H.What then broke off your intimacy?

S.It was the pride of birth,Sir,that would not permit him to think of a union.

H.Was he a young man of rank,then?

S.His connections were high.

H.And did he never attempt to persuade you to any other step?

S.No--he had too great a regard for me.

H.Tell me,my angel,how was it?Was he so very handsome?Or was it the fineness of his manners?

S.It was more his manner:but I can't tell how it was.It was chiefly my own fault.I was foolish to suppose he could ever think seriously of me.But he used to make me read with him--and I used to be with him a good deal,though not much neither--and I found my affections entangled before I was aware of it.

H.And did your mother and family know of it?

S.No--I have never told any one but you;nor I should not have mentioned it now,but I thought it might give you some satisfaction.

H.Why did he go at last?

S.We thought it better to part.

H.And do you correspond?

S.No,Sir.But perhaps I may see him again some time or other,though it will be only in the way of friendship.

H.My God!what a heart is thine,to live for years upon that bare hope!

S.I did not wish to live always,Sir--I wished to die for a long time after,till I thought it not right;and since then I have endeavoured to be as resigned as I can.

H.And do you think the impression will never wear out?

S.Not if I can judge from my feelings hitherto.It is now sometime since,--and I find no difference.

H.May God for ever bless you!How can I thank you for your condescension in letting me know your sweet sentiments?You have changed my esteem into adoration.--Never can I harbour a thought of ill in thee again.

S.Indeed,Sir,I wish for your good opinion and your friendship.

H.And can you return them?

S.Yes.

H.And nothing more?

S.No,Sir.

H.You are an angel,and I will spend my life,if you will let me,in paying you the homage that my heart feels towards you.

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