登陆注册
15330400000041

第41章

"Nothing the matter, ma'am," replied the stranger."Cricket dinner--glorious party--capital songs--old port--claret--good--very good--wine, ma'am--wine.""It wasn't the wine," murmured Mr.Snodgrass, in a broken voice."It was the salmon." (Somehow or other, it never is the wine, in these cases.)"Hadn't they better go to bed, ma'am?" inquired Emma."Two of the boys will carry the gentlemen up-stairs.""I won't go to bed," said Mr.Winkle, firmly.

"No living boy shall carry me," said Mr.Pickwick, stoutly;--and he went on smiling as before.

"Hurrah!" gasped Mr.Winkle, faintly.

"Hurrah!" echoed Mr.Pickwick, taking off his hat and dashing it on the floor, and insanely casting his spectacles into the middle of the kitchen.--At this humorous feat he laughed outright.

"Let's--have--'nother--bottle," cried Mr.Winkle, commencing in a very loud key, and ending in a very faint one.His head dropped upon his breast;and, muttering his invincible determination not to go to his bed, and a sanguinary regret that he had not "done for old Tupman" in the morning, he fell fast asleep; in which condition he was borne to his apartment by two young giants under the personal superintendence of the fat boy, to whose protecting care Mr.Snodgrass shortly afterwards confided his own person.Mr.Pickwick accepted the proffered arm of Mr.Tupman and quietly disappeared, smiling more than ever; and Mr.Wardle, after taking as affectionate a leave of the whole family as if he were ordered for immediate execution, consigned to Mr.Trundle the honour of conveying him upstairs, and retired, with a very futile attempt to look impressively solemn and dignified.

"What a shocking scene!" said the spinster aunt.

"Dis--gusting!" ejaculated both the young ladies.

"Dreadful--dreadful!" said Jingle, looking very grave: he was about a bottle and a half ahead of any of his companions."Horrid spectacle--very!""What a nice man!" whispered the spinster aunt to Mr.Tupman.

"Good-looking, too!" whispered Emily Wardle.

"Oh, decidedly," observed the spinster aunt.

Mr.Tupman thought of the widow at Rochester: and his mind was troubled.

The succeeding half-hour's conversation was not of a nature to calm his perturbed spirit.The new visitor was very talkative, and the number of his anecdotes was only to the exceeded by the extent of his politeness.

Mr.Tupman felt that as Jingle's popularity increased, he (Tupman) retired further into the shade.His laughter was forced--his merriment feigned;and when at last he laid his aching temples between the sheets, he thought, with horrid delight, on the satisfaction it would afford him to have Jingle's head at that moment between the feather bed and the mattress.

The indefatigable stranger rose betimes next morning, and, although his companions remained in bed overpowered with the dissipation of the previous night, exerted himself most successfully to promote the hilarity of the breakfast-table.So successful were his efforts, that even the deaf old lady insisted on having one or two of his best jokes retailed through the trumpet; and even she condescended to observe to the spinster aunt, that "he" (meaning Jingle) "was an impudent young fellow:" a sentiment in which all her relations then and there present thoroughly coincided.

It was the old lady's habit on the fine summer mornings to repair to the arbour in which Mr.Tupman had already signalised himself, in form and manner following: first, the fat boy fetched from a peg behind the old lady's bed-room door, a close black satin bonnet, a warm cotton shawl, and a thick stick with a capacious handle; and the old lady having put on the bonnet and shawl at her leisure, would lean one hand on the stick and the other on the fat boy's shoulder, and walk leisurely to the arbour, where the fat boy would leave her to enjoy the fresh air for the space of half an hour; at the expiration of which time he would return and reconduct her to the house.

The old lady was very precise and very particular; and as this ceremony had been observed for three successive summers without the slightest deviation from the accustomed form, she was not a little surprised on this particular morning, to see the fat boy, instead of leaving the arbour, walk a few paces out of it, look carefully round him in every direction, and return towards her with great stealth and an air of the most profound mystery.

The old lady was timorous--most old ladies are--and her first impression was that the bloated lad was about to do her some grievous bodily harm with the view of possessing himself of her loose coin.She would have cried for assistance, but age and infirmity had long ago deprived her of the power of screaming; she, therefore, watched his motions with feelings of intense terror, which were in no degree diminished by his coming close up to her, and shouting in her ear in an agitated, and as it seemed to her, a threatening tone--"Missus!"

Now it so happened that Mr.Jingle was walking in the garden close to the arbour at this moment.He too heard the shout of "Missus," and stopped to hear more.There were three reasons for his doing so.In the first place, he was idle and curious; secondly, he was by no means scrupulous; thirdly, and lastly, he was concealed from view by some flowering shrubs.So there he stood, and there he listened.

"Missus!" shouted the fat boy.

"Well, Joe," said the trembling old lady."I'm sure I have been a good mistress to you, Joe.You have invariably been treated very kindly.You have never had too much to do; and you have always had enough to eat."This last was an appeal to the fat boy's most sensitive feelings.He seemed touched, as he replied, emphatically--"I knows I has."

"Then what can you want to do now?" said the old lady, gaining courage.

"I wants to make your flesh creep," replied the boy.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 不世君王

    不世君王

    神源370年5月15日,27岁的神源帝国国王圣逸风惨死宫中,2岁王子圣傲霜不知所踪。各路列强拥兵自重,建立王国。神源大陆第一学院圣罗兰学院学院长楚百川于神源370年7月14日在校后山发现一名男子于一幼婴。男子因失血过多不治而亡。婴儿由楚百川带回学院抚养。经楚百川调查,该名幼婴就是神源太子圣傲霜。楚百川发现真相后与几名副院长协商,最终决定将孩子留在学院抚养。对外宣称是楚百川捡来的,改名为楚一帆。我们的故事将会围绕着楚一帆的成长慢慢展开。另外感谢起点论坛封面组提供封面!
  • 哑行

    哑行

    当所有人都失声,哑巴便开始独舞当天地失声,这是你的世界
  • 快穿之填坑专业户

    快穿之填坑专业户

    失忆少女林羽为找回丢失的记忆,留在星际俱乐部。从此以后,她不是在填坑,就是走在填坑的路上。自此以后,各类男神向她涌来。温柔校草√,霸道总裁√,人鱼少年√,高冷竹马√,傲娇学霸√……一系列男神。看来,填坑还是蛮不错的吧?只是这记忆什么时候才能恢复啊?!还有这个男人是谁?
  • 综漫之强者传奇

    综漫之强者传奇

    与恶魔打赌,为了生存下去,穿越数篇动漫,只为成为最强。
  • 剩女出击

    剩女出击

    繁华都市里三个80后大龄女青年,某高级餐厅负责人凌丽,某品牌化妆品卖场销售经理翟蕾,某公司财务文员李雅儿;在面临失业,长相平凡,大龄等问题及压力下,与各位男主人翁,一起上演搞笑,浪漫女追男励志爱情故事。“你是我的,你跑不掉的。。。”
  • 盗墓之杀神血

    盗墓之杀神血

    2116年,白家的白灵被神秘人带进了白家古墓,年龄未到的白灵就先进入古墓,可是却在神秘人秋霜的帮助下,成功的通过了古墓,也促成了一场合作
  • 我的末世生活

    我的末世生活

    这是我的末日,却不是我想要的生活。ps:这是一本黑暗料理,吃货请当心!ps:另本书可能会很小众,不喜勿咬!ps:简介什么最没爱了,就这样吧!
  • 痞将追妻记

    痞将追妻记

    好不容易从小时候的阴影中坚强起来,为什么长大了却还有人把那伤疤血淋淋的揭开!二十年了有人突然告诉我我不是父母亲生的?无话不说的妹妹突然因为一个男人和我反目?好不容易摆脱了烂桃花,但是谁能告诉我这个不知道从哪蹦出来的娃娃亲未婚夫是什么鬼?!未婚夫?能吃吗?呵呵我是薛白,我现在……最想大吼,老天你玩我是吗?![歪认真的看着泥萌!简介真的没有内容精彩,不点进去试试看嘛?]
  • 火澜

    火澜

    当一个现代杀手之王穿越到这个世界。是隐匿,还是崛起。一场血雨腥风的传奇被她改写。一条无上的强者之路被她踏破。修斗气,炼元丹,收兽宠,化神器,大闹皇宫,炸毁学院,打死院长,秒杀狗男女,震惊大陆。无止尽的契约能力,上古神兽,千年魔兽,纷纷前来抱大腿,惊傻世人。她说:在我眼里没有好坏之分,只有强弱之分,只要你能打败我,这世间所有都是你的,打不败我,就从这世间永远消失。她狂,她傲,她的目标只有一个,就是凌驾这世间一切之上。三国皇帝,魔界妖王,冥界之主,仙界至尊。到底谁才是陪着她走到最后的那个?他说:上天入地,我会陪着你,你活着,有我,你死,也一定有我。本文一对一,男强女强,强强联手,不喜勿入。
  • 独尊九界

    独尊九界

    修真路漫神秘的时间,神秘的地点,神秘的事件,神秘的人物冥冥之中似乎有着某种联系。炎帝之后,刑天之徒,吕布,关羽在体究竟创造怎样的旷世魔神?