"Well, ye see, Mr Pawkie, I gae'd up to London in a trader from Leith; and by the use of a gude Scotch tongue, the whilk was the main substance o' a' the bairns' part o' gear that I inherited from my parents, I found out the nabob's dwelling, in the west end o' the town of London; and finding out the nabob's dwelling, I went and rappit at the door, which a bardy flunkie opened, and speer't what Iwant it, as if I was a thing no fit to be lifted off a midden with a pair of iron tongs.Like master, like man, thought I to myself; and thereupon, taking heart no to be put out, I replied to the whipper-snapper--'I'm Bailie M'Lucre o' Gudetown, and maun hae a word wi'
his honour.'
"The cur lowered his birsses at this, and replied, in a mair ceeveleezed style of language, 'Master is not at home.' But I kent what not at home means in the morning at a gentleman's door in London; so I said, 'Very weel, as I hae had a long walk, I'll e'en rest myself and wait till he come;' and with that, I plumpit down on one of the mahogany chairs in the trance.The lad, seeing that Iwas na to be jookit, upon this answered me, by saying, he would go and enquire if his master would be at home to me; and the short and the long o't was, that I got at last an audience o' my honourable friend.
"'Well, bailie,' said he, 'I'm glad to see you in London,' and a hantle o' ither courtly glammer that's no worth a repetition; and, from less to mair, we proceeded to sift into the matter and end of my coming to ask the help o' his hand to get me a post in the government.But I soon saw, that wi a' the phraseology that lay at his tongue end during the election, about his power and will to serve us, his ain turn ser't, he cared so little for me.Howsever after tarrying some time, and going to him every day, at long and last he got me a tide-waiter's place at the custom-house; a poor hungry situation, no worth the grassum at a new tack of the warst land in the town's aught.But minnows are better than nae fish, and a tide-waiter's place was a step towards a better, if I could have waited.Luckily, however, for me, a flock of fleets and ships frae the East and West Indies came in a' thegither; and there was sic a stress for tide-waiters, that before I was sworn in and tested, Iwas sent down to a grand ship in the Malabar trade frae China, loaded with tea and other rich commodities; the captain whereof, a discreet man, took me down to the cabin, and gave me a dram of wine, and, when we were by oursels, he said to me -"'Mr M'Lucre, what will you take to shut your eyes for an hour?'
"'I'll no take a hundred pounds,' was my answer.
"'I'll make it guineas,' quoth he.
"Surely, thought I, my eyne maun be worth pearls and diamonds to the East India Company; so I answered and said -"'Captain, no to argol-bargol about the matter,' (for a' the time, Ithought upon how I had not been sworn in;)--'what will ye gie me, if I take away my eyne out of the vessel?'
"'A thousand pounds,' cried he.
"'A bargain be't,' said I.I think, however, had I stood out Imight hae got mair.But it doesna rain thousands of pounds every day; so, to make a long tale short, I got a note of hand on the Bank of England for the sum, and, packing up my ends and my awls, left the ship.
"It was my intent to have come immediately home to Scotland; but the same afternoon, I was summoned by the Board at the Custom-house for deserting my post; and the moment I went before them, they opened upon me like my lord's pack of hounds, and said they would send me to Newgate.'Cry a' at ance,' quoth I; 'but I'll no gang.' I then told them how I was na sworn, and under no obligation to serve or obey them mair than pleasured mysel'; which set them a' again a barking worse than before; whereupon, seeing no likelihood of an end to their stramash, I turned mysel' round, and, taking the door on my back, left them, and the same night came off on the Fly to Edinburgh.Since syne they have been trying every grip and wile o'
the law to punish me as they threatened; but the laws of England are a great protection to the people against arbitrary power; and the letter that I have got to-day frae the nabob, tells me that the commissioners hae abandoned the plea."Such was the account and narration that the bailie gave to me of the particulars o' his journey to London; and when he was done, I could not but make a moral reflection or two, on the policy of gentlemen putting themselves on the leet to be members of Parliament; it being a clear and plain thing, that as they are sent up to London for the benefit of the people by whom they are chosen, the people should always take care to get some of that benefit in hand paid down, otherwise they run a great risk of seeing their representatives neglecting their special interests, and treating them as entitled to no particular consideration.
