登陆注册
15323700000092

第92章

When Nell had exhausted her first raptures at this glorious sight, Mrs Jarley ordered the room to be cleared of all but herself and the child, and, sitting herself down in an arm-chair in the centre, formally invested Nell with a willow wand, long used by herself for pointing out the characters, and was at great pains to instruct her in her duty.

'That,' said Mrs Jarley in her exhibition tone, as Nell touched a figure at the beginning of the platform, 'is an unfortunate Maid of Honour in the Time of Queen Elizabeth, who died from pricking her finger in consequence of working upon a Sunday.Observe the blood which is trickling from her finger; also the gold-eyed needle of the period, with which she is at work.'

All this, Nell repeated twice or thrice: pointing to the finger and the needle at the right times: and then passed on to the next.

'That, ladies and gentlemen,' said Mrs Jarley, 'is jasper Packlemerton of atrocious memory, who courted and married fourteen wives, and destroyed them all, by tickling the soles of their feet when they were sleeping in the consciousness of innocence and virtue.On being brought to the scaffold and asked if he was sorry for what he had done, he replied yes, he was sorry for having let 'em off so easy, and hoped all Christian husbands would pardon him the offence.Let this be a warning to all young ladies to be particular in the character of the gentlemen of their choice.

Observe that his fingers are curled as if in the act of tickling, and that his face is represented with a wink, as he appeared when committing his barbarous murders.'

When Nell knew all about Mr Packlemerton, and could say it without faltering, Mrs Jarley passed on to the fat man, and then to the thin man, the tall man, the short man, the old lady who died of dancing at a hundred and thirty-two, the wild boy of the woods, the woman who poisoned fourteen families with pickled walnuts, and other historical characters and interesting but misguided individuals.And so well did Nell profit by her instructions, and so apt was she to remember them, that by the time they had been shut up together for a couple of hours, she was in full possession of the history of the whole establishment, and perfectly competent to the enlightenment of visitors.

Mrs Jarley was not slow to express her admiration at this happy result, and carried her young friend and pupil to inspect the remaining arrangements within doors, by virtue of which the passage had been already converted into a grove of green-baize hung with the inscription she had already seen (Mr Slum's productions), and a highly ornamented table placed at the upper end for Mrs Jarley herself, at which she was to preside and take the money, in company with his Majesty King George the Third, Mr Grimaldi as clown, Mary Queen of Scots, an anonymous gentleman of the Quaker persuasion, and Mr Pitt holding in his hand a correct model of the bill for the imposition of the window duty.The preparations without doors had not been neglected either; a nun of great personal attractions was telling her beads on the little portico over the door; and a brigand with the blackest possible head of hair, and the clearest possible complexion, was at that moment going round the town in a cart, consulting the miniature of a lady.

It now only remained that Mr Slum's compositions should be judiciously distributed; that the pathetic effusions should find their way to all private houses and tradespeople; and that the parody commencing 'If I know'd a donkey,' should be confined to the taverns, and circulated only among the lawyers' clerks and choice spirits of the place.When this had been done, and Mrs Jarley had waited upon the boarding-schools in person, with a handbill composed expressly for them, in which it was distinctly proved that wax-work refined the mind, cultivated the taste, and enlarged the sphere of the human understanding, that indefatigable lady sat down to dinner, and drank out of the suspicious bottle to a flourishing campaign.

同类推荐
  • 佛古闻禅师语录

    佛古闻禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 玄怪录

    玄怪录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 诸法本无经

    诸法本无经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 丹阳真人语录

    丹阳真人语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 华严普贤行愿修证仪

    华严普贤行愿修证仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 琴绫天尊女:神夜逆毒天

    琴绫天尊女:神夜逆毒天

    硫澄,21世纪令人闻风丧胆的神尊女杀手,18岁冠名"皇女"之称,一生残暴冷血,却未料到自己命丧亲人之手,怪她太过相信?亦是识人不清?怨魂冲出阎罗殿,一朝重生入异界时空,魂入凤乔云陆第一大国一人之下万人之上的墨氏摄政王之嫡女墨硫澄的尸体中。睁眼,一紫一金双色奇眸。生来无元气?笑话!她生前乃神尊化气。奇丑痴傻女?幽默!她原是妖冶神皇女!在青云大道上,她梦回千寻,那个幻觉中的紫发女子的靓影长立,她是谁?为何总出现她的梦中?那样的熟悉,又是从何而来?拨开层层迷雾,却是更大阴谋。知道一切的她,毅然踏上了绝杀之路,从古至今的不可能么?那她就让它变成可能!本以为自己已断绝七情六欲,可最后,竟陷入不可自拔..
  • 星际狂野

    星际狂野

    一个因为人类内斗,而漂泊异星的小孩儿,将来如何扭转人类的命运?东西方文化差异,会导致怎样的未来格局?人类与新生物种,会爆发怎样的星际冲突?天堂里有没有车来车往?人性善恶如何影响故事的结局?梦想与现实拧巴在一起,会演奏出怎样的狂想曲?
  • 疯狂取经人

    疯狂取经人

    欺人道,戏娇娘,收高徒,逆天皇;诛仙弑佛哪家强?取经路上我更狂!……(本书是一个全新的故事,讲述一个变态“唐僧”的强势逆袭!主角姓陈,但不叫陈玄奘,请不要以《西游记》既定的思维来看待书中的人物,否则你就会陷入被无限惊喜轰炸的困境之中!)
  • 西游蛤蟆仙人

    西游蛤蟆仙人

    有三头六臂,七十二变,滴血重生……有嫦娥玉兔,女鬼……猪八戒、哪吒、十万天兵……一个穿越西游世界的少年,带着一只不同寻常的蛤蟆分身跳上长生逍遥路……“法天象地?力大无穷?!”“看我蛤蟆分身以暴制暴!变大变大!砸的你魂飞魄散!”………………
  • 贵族学院:复仇公主的爱恋

    贵族学院:复仇公主的爱恋

    十一年前,她们也是天真可爱的小女孩,因为父亲杀害了母亲而变的冷血,十一年后,她们回来了,回来复仇了,但在复仇路上又遇见了自己的真命天子,她们到底是选择复仇还是爱情呢?
  • 王俊凯我爱你超过你爱我

    王俊凯我爱你超过你爱我

    因为一次意外,他们相遇了,进入了美好的初恋
  • 双生杀道

    双生杀道

    万族并立,天才辈出,个人恩怨与宗族纷争,爱恨情仇与种族大义。阴谋阳谋,不绝如缕。历代先贤,前仆后继。修炼到底是为了什么?
  • 九洲奕剑录

    九洲奕剑录

    九洲大陆,广袤无垠。一种名为灵力的神奇力量,在其上广为流传。而凭借修行灵力所获得的力量,曾经手无缚鸡之力的人类,而今已经成为了九洲大陆当之无愧的霸者!九洲之上,边陲荒洲。这里位于九洲边缘。妖兽横行。人族的霸权,在这里第一次受到了妖兽的挑衅。而经过数百年绵延不休的战斗,最终双方也是不得不止戈停战。而荒洲也成为了九洲之上,唯一一个,没有绝对控制者的大洲!
  • 心念善是正道

    心念善是正道

    这是一个本心善良,时常逗逼的青年,不按常理出牌,一切看心情。如何用嘴皮子,靠着啥也会点啥也不精的本事,当然还有那么点小运气。造就出一个影响整个异大陆,乃至神界的传奇故事。(本故事有幽默,也有热血,有你喜欢的萌妹子,也有凶残的敌人。更有作者的心!欢迎大家品鉴)
  • 校草的青春疼痛

    校草的青春疼痛

    他们在校园里是风光无限的贵公子,富二代,可谁又能知道他们身上家庭带给他们的疼痛。当他们给各自遇到心仪的女生却收到家庭的阻碍他们的恋情又该何去何从?